Mentors Change Everything

A great mentor can compress a decade of painful trial and error into a single afternoon—but only if you have real skin in the game.

Most people treat their personal development like a casual hobby. They ask for financial advice from friends who are broke, relationship advice from people repeating toxic patterns, and career guidance from managers who have never built what they want to build. They float in passive hoping, refusing to invest real money into coaching because they fear losing capital. But when you refuse to put skin in the game, you unconsciously sabotage your own follow-through. You show up casually, execute half-heartedly, and wonder why your business, leadership, or personal capacity remains completely unchanged.

In this transparent, narrative-driven episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jana and Jason dissect why investing in mentorship completely fundamentally alters your operational identity. Recounting the exact 2019 seminar moment where Jana colored a journal entry asking for a dynamic teacher—only to have a sequined-jacket mentor walk down the aisle 10 minutes later—they pull back the curtain on how clear intention "calls in" high-level guidance. Together, they explore why compliments from strangers hit louder than praise at home, how spending habits reveal your true values, and why real coaches hand you execution systems instead of random opinions.

Inside:

• The Skin in the Game Effect: Why investing significant capital in a coach, mentor, or system fundamentally transforms your follow-through and identity.
• The Bank Account Value Audit: Why your spending records—not your spoken statements—provide the ultimate objective map of what you actually value.
• The $100 Opportunity Test: A raw seminar breakdown showing how fear and hesitation keep 99% of people seated when opportunity is dangling right in front of them.
• Praise Distance Dynamics: The psychological rule explaining why encouragement from a spouse often bounces off while feedback from a distant mentor lands like lightning.
• Journaling as Manifestation Data: How documenting desired mentor attributes creates a real-world Reticular Activating System (RAS) filter to recognize guidance when it arrives.

Stop taking advice from people who are borrowing their outcomes from bad patterns. If you are ready to stop dabbling, invest in your next level, and allow a high-level system to compress your timeline, hit play now.

Listen to the audio, watch the official video broadcast, subscribe, and tell us what mentor would change your life right now.

NUGGETS

• Your bank account reveals your true values. You can claim growth is your priority, but your financial transactions prove what you actually protect and chase.
• Stop taking advice from unproven sources. Asking broke friends for stock picks or toxic partners for relationship counsel guarantees you borrow their failures.
• Skin in the game changes your identity. Investing real capital in mentorship stops casual dabbling and forces you to execute like the person you are becoming.
• Distance amplifies positive feedback. Praise from loved ones can feel biased or routine, while feedback from an objective mentor carries massive weight.
• When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Clarifying your required outcomes through journaling trains your subconscious to spot opportunity instantly.
• when the student is ready the teacher appears
• mentorship skin in the game effect
• how to choose the right business mentor
• praise distance psychology family vs stranger
• journaling for manifestation and mentorship
• investing in executive coaching ROI
• why spending habits reveal personal values
• taking financial advice from broke friends mistake
• how mentorship compresses learning curves
• overcoming fear of taking immediate action on opportunities
• why praise from strangers lands louder than spouses
• how to journal to attract the right business coach
• living lucky podcast episode on mentorship frameworks

Questions:

Why is "skin in the game" critical when hiring a mentor or business coach? "Skin in the game" is critical because financial investment shifts an individual's psychological identity from passive observer to active participant. When capital is committed, cognitive dissonance forces higher accountability, prompt attendance, and rigorous execution. Without financial or personal risk, advice is often treated as optional, leading to low follow-through and minimal real-world results.

How does an individual's bank account act as an audit of their personal values? A bank account acts as an objective audit of values because capital allocation reflects real-time priorities rather than ideal self-perceptions. While an individual may verbally claim to prioritize health, growth, or financial freedom, where their money actually flows—toward entertainment, convenience, or structured coaching—reveals what they truly protect, prioritize, and pursue.

Why does encouragement from a stranger or mentor land differently than praise from a spouse? Encouragement from a stranger or mentor lands with greater psychological weight because of perceived objectivity ("distance dynamics"). Praise from a spouse or close relative can be discounted as obligation, politeness, or routine. Conversely, when a distant mentor or stranger offers positive feedback, the brain perceives them as having "nothing to gain," making the affirmation far more credible and impactful.

Go deeper in the Living Lucky Blog: 

Why You Can't Hear It From the People Who Love You

• The Skin in the Game Rule: Piano lessons vs. a $10,000 guitar commitment Jason contrasts passive learning with high-stakes financial investment. Learn why putting real money on the line shifts how you show up for execution.
• The Bank Account Audit: What your spending says about your actual values Why verbal claims mean nothing compared to financial transactions. Learn how to audit your bank account to see whether you truly value growth or comfort.
• Stop Listening to Broke Friends: Filtering out noise and bad advice Jason's unfiltered take on seeking guidance from unproven sources. Learn why seeking financial or relationship counsel from struggling peers guarantees you borrow their failures.
• The 2019 Journaling Experiment: Writing down a mentor's exact attributes Jana shares her raw 2019 journal entry requesting a specific teacher. Learn how detailing required attributes constructs an immediate Reticular Activating System (RAS) filter.
• The Sequined-Jacket Entrance: When Kane Minkus walked down the aisle The hilarious, unexpected moment a mentor matching Jana's exact list entered the seminar. Discover why mentors rarely look like the comfortable package you expect.
• The $100 Opportunity Test: Who actually moves when cash is dangled? Analyzing a live seminar demonstration. Learn how hesitation, overthinking, and fear keep 99% of people seated when opportunity is sitting right in front of them.
• The Front-Row Interrogation: Being called out in front of 300 people Jana details the moment the mentor put a microphone in her face. Discover how a great coach cuts through your self-doubt and exposes your hidden capacity.
• Praise Distance Dynamics: Why strangers sound louder than spouses Jason unveils a profound psychological breakdown: why negative feedback from loved ones hurts deeply, while positive praise from distant mentors lands with massive power.
• Compressing Timelines: Writing books and documenting real-world proof Wrapping up with a look at how mentorship accelerates execution by 10x. Access the closing call to grab a journal, find a mentor, and keep Living Lucky®.

mentorship skin in the game, bank account value audit, taking advice from unproven sources, praise distance dynamics, journaling for manifestation, compressing learning curves, luck activation formula, living luck

Transcript

When The Teacher Appears

Jana Shelfer 0:00

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

Jason Shelfer 0:04

Mentors, the freshmaker.

Mentors And Skin In The Game

Jana Shelfer 0:22

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®. You are too. We're talking about mentors today. Love some mentors. Yes. First of all, we have been very blessed in this area. We have. I will say. Although we've spent thousands and thousands of dollars. It's I mean, it kind of goes hand in hand.

Jason Shelfer 0:42

Yeah, it's it's been an uncomfortable amount of investment. And that first experience with that freaked me out.

Jana Shelfer 0:51

However, I look back now and I think every coach, mentor, teacher that we have paid for either lessons or even technology, teach us how to do this, or come teach us how to speak, help us mold our messages. They have been so well worth it.

Jason Shelfer 1:12

It's a profound difference in how you show up when you've got skin in the game.

Jana Shelfer 1:18

When when your money, you put your money where your mouth is, and all of a sudden, whoa, I'm I'm gonna show up as a different Jana.

Jason Shelfer 1:26

And the the best way I can visualize that or paint that picture is when you had your your piano instructor come over and you were paying for lessons, and I mentioned that I wanted to learn the guitar, they offered to show me some chords and teach me a couple things, and I didn't really want to learn right then or care to pick that up.

Jana Shelfer 1:49

And it was my money.

Jason Shelfer 1:50

Now, if I had invested 10,000 to learn a song or $10,000 to learn how to play a progression on a guitar, there's a different level of investment and a different way of me showing up because I'm going to get my return

Your Spending Reveals Your Values

Jason Shelfer 2:08

on that.

Jana Shelfer 2:08

Yeah, when people say, Oh, I don't know what my values are, I don't know, I don't know what my values are, I say, where are you spending your money? Look at your checkbook, look at your bank account. You'll know exactly where your values are. And as soon as you put money into mentorship, and when I'm saying put money into mentorship, hire a coach, hire someone to help you achieve a goal, go after a dream, get rid of limiting beliefs. There's just be accountable. There's so many different ways that a mentor can help. They shorten the path.

Jason Shelfer 2:44

Yeah, because what we like to do is we like to think that our best friend who's been through bankruptcy or been through divorce is gonna be able to help us with a relationship or finances. Like, let me tell you what I'm going through, and you give me some advice, and I'm gonna go try that.

Jana Shelfer 2:57

Yeah, don't do that.

Jason Shelfer 2:59

That's not the best case of it.

Jana Shelfer 3:00

Don't go to a hairstylist with bad hair. You don't go to a dentist with no teeth.

Jason Shelfer 3:06

Right.

Jana Shelfer 3:06

Right? You don't go to a dermatologist with the act.

Jason Shelfer 3:10

Stop listening to your broke ass friends' advice on how to how to buy stocks.

Jana Shelfer 3:14

My broke ass friends.

Jason Shelfer 3:16

It's baffling. Broke ass friends.

Jana Shelfer 3:18

Yes. Okay.

How Mentors Find You

Jana Shelfer 3:20

So when it comes to mentors, though, how do you find a mentor? And to be completely transparent and honest, I feel when I try seeking out mentors, and you know, I want a guru to teach me everything about the world or to teach me how to get in touch with God or to teach me how do I communicate with my soul. I feel, you know, the you can Google, hey, can you teach tell me a guru near me? You know how that shows up on Google.

Jason Shelfer 3:57

Let me see those Yelp reviews.

Jana Shelfer 4:01

But truthfully, I feel guru near you.

Jason Shelfer 4:05

That's the new website.

Jana Shelfer 4:07

Sometimes the mentors find you. The teacher. Do you feel that or do you have proof of that? Well, I have proof of that. I have proof of that. Did I just did I just say that says when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I think it's a Buddhist saying.

Jason Shelfer 4:26

Buddhist, Confucius. It's one of those.

Jana Shelfer 4:28

That's so true. I know that for me, when I was going through a dark time, it was like 2019, I believe. And you came home and you're like, Jana, I was out on a sales call today and I saw all these people and they were giving out free tickets.

Jason Shelfer 4:44

Free ticket.

Jana Shelfer 4:45

Actually, did you buy a ticket?

Jason Shelfer 4:47

I did buy a ticket and it came with a free ticket.

Jana Shelfer 4:49

And then it came with you can bring a companion.

Jason Shelfer 4:52

Which the way my brain works is if I buy this ticket and I get a free ticket, I'm getting my ticket for half price. Even if I take you. Like even though I'm still buying even if I'm even though I'm buying yours, I'm still getting mine for half price, which that's a weird way to think about it when our money's coming out of the same household.

Jana Shelfer 5:11

Long story short, I really didn't want to be there that day. So I took my markers with me. I I don't know if you can see my journal from that time period. This is from 2019. I literally took my markers and I'm coloring in my journal and I write down these specific things. I would like to find a mentor that I want to emulate. This is on September 16th, 2019. And I say, I would like a I say, teacher, come teach me. I mean, I'm I'm showing you right here. This is la la.

Jason Shelfer 5:45

This is why we journal.

Jana Shelfer 5:46

Yeah, this is my journal from 2019. Teacher, come teach me. And then I have specific attributes that I would like in a teacher. Dynamic, polished, well spoken, it factor, wise, educated, successful financially, fit, funny, spiritual. And lo and behold, about 10 minutes after I colored this page to make it all nice and beautiful, as you can all see, this pompous, short, curly-haired man comes strutting down the middle of the aisle with this glitter sequence jacket.

Jason Shelfer 6:29

You look like one of the pips.

Jana Shelfer 6:30

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 6:31

Now, this is the thing. So in your mind, the image was probably something more like Clark Kent or Tony Robbins or No, I was thinking of a female.

Jana Shelfer 6:42

Definitely a female.

Jason Shelfer 6:43

So maybe a female. So in my mind, I would be thinking something more of like the Clark Kent, Superman-ish, Tony Robbins, something like that. And in your mind, you're thinking of a more polished female version. Yeah. And then, but every single attribute came down the aisle that I was looking for. Exactly.

Jana Shelfer 7:03

And I mean, he starts off by making this stupid, stupid joke. It was so dumb. He loved it. That he cackled and we looked at each other and we were on the front row. And so we gave him like a courtesy laugh. Right. And then we actually ended up laughing at him for making such an absurd joke for having the con confidence and audacity to make such an absurd joke in front of all these people.

Jason Shelfer 7:33

It's incredible that you would make that joke in front of 300 people.

Jana Shelfer 7:37

I don't even remember what it was.

Jason Shelfer 7:39

It's your stage. Do what you want to know. I'd have no idea now.

Jana Shelfer 7:42

And then he pulls one of these.

Jason Shelfer 7:44

But the fact that we remember it.

Jana Shelfer 7:45

He's like, y'all want five extra dollars in your pocket right now? And of course, you know, everyone's like, yeah, that's why we're here. We're here to learn to make money. So he pulls out this five dollar bill and he's like, well, here you go. Come get it. And he's like, dang, do you remember this? Yeah, nobody moved. And he's dangling this five dollar bill, nobody's moving. And he and then he puts it back in his pocket and he's like, that's what's wrong with all of you. Is you're not taking advantage of the opportunity that's right in front of you.

Jason Shelfer 8:13

All you had to do was act. All you had to do was make a move.

Jana Shelfer 8:17

All you had to do was reach up and grab it. And we all sat there like, and you and I were on the front row, and we all sat there just dumbfounded.

Jason Shelfer 8:27

Is this an example? Is this a demonstration? Or do I need to go grab that? I think it was a 50.

Jana Shelfer 8:33

Yeah, I believe it was like a hundred dollar bill or something.

Jason Shelfer 8:36

It wasn't a I I appreciate your generosity in saying it's a five.

The Five Dollar Opportunity Test

Jason Shelfer 8:40

Anyway, decent amount.

Jana Shelfer 8:42

So what was so funny though is I it literally all of the judgment, the little judgment that Jana can have went through my head. I'm like, this guy is such a narcissist. Like, how dare he do this or act this way? Or does he think people are interested? And yet we all were leaning in. Yep. Tell me more. Tell me more. The room was packed. The room was packed. And we all paid money to be there. Not only did we pay money, but every time he would go to sell something, everybody was running to the back of the room. Let's go get those graduations. You know, the first 10 people can do this. Here you go. You know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer 9:27

So he just taught people how to start taking action. And then he was training people throughout this whole seminar. You better be the first to take action. And it was working.

Jana Shelfer 9:38

But what was so crazy is I literally, if he just passed me in everyday life, I would say, okay, no thanks, right? Like stay, steer clear of me. However, at that season and where I was, especially in my business, he gave me something that I didn't know I needed.

Jason Shelfer 10:01

Yeah. And and he and all the criteria on your list were met.

Jana Shelfer 10:06

And he showed up in this Kane Minkus rock star body. Now, the second thing that I want to add is that he immediately starts by doing this exercise, and he's like, everyone, I want you to write down all of your values that you have. Write down the value that you can give to the world.

Jason Shelfer 10:25

What do you bring to the table?

Jana Shelfer 10:26

What do you bring to the table? I was going through a transition period at this time. I my mind went blind.

Jason Shelfer 10:34

You just took a brain fire.

Jana Shelfer 10:35

I could not think of a single value.

Jason Shelfer 10:38

You could have written written a book about you at the time.

Jana Shelfer 10:41

But I was like, I I don't I don't have any business. I have no business being here because I don't have a business and I have nothing to offer to even create a business. That's where I was at. Right.

Jason Shelfer 10:53

That was the thought process.

Jana Shelfer 10:55

And he sees that I'm not writing anything down with all my markers that are spread out on the table.

Jason Shelfer 11:02

You in the front row. What's your name?

Jana Shelfer 11:04

And he puts the microphone in my face and puts me on the spot and starts asking me questions.

Jason Shelfer 11:12

Right. What's your story, lady?

Jana Shelfer 11:14

And then next thing you know, he says, What's your story? And so I start talking. And people start leaning in. You could hear a pin drop in that room.

Jason Shelfer 11:22

300 people. Like EF Hutton, what? What's happening?

Jana Shelfer 11:26

And when I was done telling my story, he says, Why aren't you speaking to millions of people all over

Hearing Belief From A Stranger

Jana Shelfer 11:35

the world?

Jason Shelfer 11:36

And where's your book?

Jana Shelfer 11:37

And where's your book?

Jason Shelfer 11:39

And all of a sudden I'm like, uh somewhere before.

Jana Shelfer 11:47

I know. The thing is, is Jason had been telling me that all along, but for some reason, when this is why you hear it from your friends, your parents, your family, your loved ones, your spouse.

Jason Shelfer 12:01

The further away in distance the person is, the louder you can hear it from them.

Jana Shelfer 12:08

Yes. And there's something about you know when it's positive. And he was. What he did was he believed in me. Uh-huh.

Jason Shelfer 12:22

Positive, you hear louder from the distance.

Jana Shelfer 12:25

Isn't that interesting?

Jason Shelfer 12:27

And that's my personal experience.

Jana Shelfer 12:29

Can you repeat that?

Jason Shelfer 12:30

So when someone says something negative and they're close to you, like they do they mean a lot to you. It goes deep. It goes deep. You hear that so loud. And even if they don't mean it to be negative or hurtful, but you hear it so loud and it resonates and booms and will echo for decades.

Jana Shelfer 12:48

It can almost traumatize you in some ways.

Jason Shelfer 12:50

If someone says something wonderful and very edifying and they're close to you, it's very soft. And even if they're screaming it day in and day out, it sometimes goes in one ear and out the other. It's very soft, it doesn't land, it's it's it's bouncing off and going back. But if someone from a distance that you don't know says it, this is why someone passing you in the street that says, Well, you look really beautiful today.

Jana Shelfer 13:16

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 13:17

We hear that differently because we're like, they have nothing to gain. They don't they're not, they don't have to love me. Oh my god. And they're telling me how beautiful and wonderful I look.

Jana Shelfer 13:27

Yeah, that is so that I just had an aha moment. That thank you. Well, we don't hear things under our own roof.

Jason Shelfer 13:33

That's where our kids don't listen to us.

Journaling Proof And Closing Thoughts

Jana Shelfer 13:36

To make a long story short, mentors, I believe, will speed up your journey by at least 10 times. 100%. And I look back to the year that I spent with Kane Minkus. He called me out several times. He called me out, he maybe gave me some hard truths that I don't know if any other person would have.

Jason Shelfer 14:01

No. And a mentor someone who has been there or is there and is doing it and is willing to give you advice and kind of show you what that process and system looks like. And that's the key.

Jana Shelfer 14:14

I this morning I was looking back at all of the notes in here, and there's several. I am so grateful for Rockstar Industries and Kane Mikus. So it all came to fruition, and I did write a book during that time. I did not publish it. Yep. However, I am now thinking I might revisit it and maybe I think now they're polish it a little bit. Yes, I agree with that.

Jason Shelfer 14:44

It has a different feel to it. Because I'm in a different book. It feels more like a Living Lucky® book.

Jana Shelfer 14:48

Oh, but I do have my journals out.

Jason Shelfer 14:51

Right.

Jana Shelfer 14:52

Which is so funny that this journal has been, I mean, I've got hundreds of these.

Jason Shelfer 14:57

I think what I love about going back to your journals is seeing now with how you journal and how we use the formula of literally the things that you put in the journal, how they happen weeks and months later.

Jana Shelfer 15:12

Because we're constantly manifesting. Yeah. And when we realize that we are all creators, we just need to learn how to steer, guide, and co-create with a divine.

Jason Shelfer 15:27

And when you have a record of it, then you can see, oh my God, are you kidding me? Like if you had not written that down and just thought this is what I want, your mind can tell you, oh, I'm missing this, I'm missing that. But when you see it on paper and then you recognize that, oh gosh, I got literally exactly what I wrote down 10 minutes ago. Uh-huh. And you had never met the person that had no done no research because I just said, Hey, do you want to come? Because otherwise I'm gone all day. I wouldn't have gone Saturday and Sunday.

Jana Shelfer 15:58

Once I would have seen the that sparkly glitter jacket, I would have been like research you would have gone. Thanks. Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®. Bye-bye.