Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Unpack The Baggage

Jana and Jason Shelfer Season 11 Episode 10

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0:00 | 22:45

That unopened box sitting in your garage for five years isn't just physical clutter—it is a direct diagnostic mirror of your internal emotional baggage.

Most high-achievers suffer from a dangerous form of passive emotional hoarding. We drag past public failures, unanswered dreams, and the sting of cold rejections into our current business meetings, our relationships, and our big career risks. When you refuse to unpack the painful moments—like putting an offer out into the world and getting zero bites, or speaking to a room of seven people when you expected a standing ovation—your subconscious builds a subtle, protective prison. You stop taking full swings at your destiny, start playing small to avoid getting hurt again, and pray to get hit by the pitch just so you can walk to first base as a victim.

In this deeply vulnerable, unscripted episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jana and Jason dissect the physical and psychological toll of carrying broken items, unprocessed conversations, and old business wounds. Jana opens up about her raw fear of putting her high-ticket art journals and speaking offers on the market after experiencing brutal "strikeout" moments during her transition out of corporate radio. Together, they map out how nostalgia, fear, and self-protection quietly sabotage your future capacity.

Inside:

  • The Broken Glasses Paradox: Why we carry useless emotional debris inside our day-to-day purses and minds under the false illusion that we will "fix it later."
  • The $1,400 Garage Cleanout Realization: A hilariously honest case study on how five weeks of delaying a garage cleanout exposes deep sentimental attachments to old, unsuccessful business campaigns.
  • The Library Presentation Audit: A raw, tearful memory of recruiting seven attendees from a library hallway and how that single moment generated a lingering "offer paralysis."
  • Bunting vs. The Home Run: The blunt psychological difference between taking a massive swing at your highest potential versus begging the pitcher to hit you so you can cry your way to first base.
  • The Amalfi Coast Packing Test: How to audit your internal luggage so you stop dragging heavy, protective "winter coat" limiting beliefs onto the sun-drenched beach of your next expansion.

Stop packing for the life you used to live. If you are ready to get eyes on what you are dragging behind you, process the sting of past strikeouts, and lighten your mental load so you can take a world-class swing again, hit play now.

Listen to the audio, watch the video broadcast, subscribe, and unpack your garage today.

NUGGETS

  • Unprocessed emotion is an invisible tax on your next conversation. Carrying baggage from a past strikeout ensures you project guardrails and defensiveness onto your next opportunity.
  • Self-protection is the ultimate killer of scale. Playing small and settling for a bunt doesn't keep you safe; it simply guarantees you never experience the thrill of hitting a home run.
  • A strikeout is a metric of courage, not a verdict on your worth. The greatest hitters in history struck out hundreds of times; your willingness to step up to the plate is what separates creators from spectators.
  • You cannot wear winter coats on an Amalfi Coast beach. Stop packing past fear, shame, and nostalgic sorrow into the luggage designed for your future success.
  • Lightening the load requires getting "eyes on it." You cannot release what you refuse to inspect; naming the old disappointment is the first step to leaving it behind.
  • how to let go of emotional baggage
  • overcoming fear of failure in business offers
  • physical clutter as emotional clutter metaphor
  • processing public rejection and strikeout moments
  • how to stop playing small in career choices
  • mindset tools for releasing past disappointments
  • why do i keep old boxes without unpacking them
  • overcoming fear of selling after a failed offer
  • how past business failures cause offer paralysis
  • difference between hitting home runs and bunting in life
  • why do high performers hold onto nostalgic sadness
  • packing for the future life you want mindset

Questions:

How does physical clutter act as a mirror for emotional baggage? Physical clutter—such as boxes moved multiple times without being unpacked—mirrors emotional baggage by representing delayed decision-making, avoidance of uncomfortable feelings, and sentimental attachment to past identities. Just as physical items occupy spatial capacity in a home, unexamined emotional disappointments sit in the subconscious, consuming cognitive energy and limiting an individual's readiness for new growth.

What is "offer paralysis" in entrepreneurship and how is it triggered? Offer paralysis is a psychological state where an entrepreneur resists making new sales offers or pitching their services due to the unprocessed trauma of past rejections or failed launches. Triggered by a desire for self-protection, the mind associates public exposure with pain, causing the individual to play small, underprice their work, or avoid marketing altogether to prevent facing a potential "strikeout."

How does the "Amalfi Coast Packing Metaphor" assist in personal development? The Amalfi Coast packing metaphor challenges individuals to evaluate whether their current beliefs and habits align with their desired future destination. If an individual is heading toward a warm, expansive life (the Amalfi Coast) but continues packing heavy protective habits born of past trauma (winter coats), their emotional luggage will actively sabotage their experience. Growth requires auditing the suitcase and releasing outdated defense mechanisms.


  • The Unpacked Box Paradox: Moving physical clutter from house to house Jason and Jana kick off with a look at why people carry sealed boxes across decades of moves. Discover how physical garage clutter serves as an exact diagnostic for unresolved internal baggage.
  • Emotional Contagion across Conversations: Dragging past friction into new rooms Jason tracks how a bad interaction with one person bleeds onto the next innocent interaction. Discover how unprocessed feelings turn into an invisible tax on your relationships.
  • The Backpack of Rocks: Walking with your face pressed into the pavement Exposing the heavy physical sensation of carrying unwritten rules, fake responsibilities, and other people's emotional baggage on your daily walk.
  • The $1,400 Garage Standoff: Sentimental ties to failed business materials Five weeks after canceling a professional organizer, 25 boxes still sit in the garage. Jana dissects the emotional friction of sorting through old promotional flyers from zero-bite offers.
  • Praying for the Pitcher to Hit You: Bunting, walking, and playing the victim A hilarious, blunt breakdown of sports metaphors. Learn why high-performers sometimes secretely hope to get hit by life's pitch just so they can cry their way to first base.
  • The 750 Batting Average: Jason audits Jana’s world-champion trajectory Jason steps in to remind Jana of her three Paralympic appearances and world-champion status. Learn how the brain selectively zooms in on one strikeout while ignoring an empire of home runs.
  • The Amalfi Coast Suitcase: Stop packing winter coats for a tropical beach The ultimate coaching reframe. Discover how to inspect your internal luggage and leave fear, shame, and nostalgic sorrow behind before stepping into your next expansion.
  • Radiohead & Nostalgic Sorrow: Why it feels so good to feel so bad Wrapping up with a comedic riff on listening to sad breakup songs. Learn why human beings get addicted to feeling like a "creep and a weirdo" instead of stepping into their power.

emotional baggage, physical clutter metaphor, offer paralysis, fear of rejection in sales, strikeout mindset, baseline audits, resilience frameworks, high achiever self protection, the four-minute formula, living lucky frameworks

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.  

*Previously Recorded 

Welcome To Living Lucky

Jana Shelfer

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer

You

Unpacking As A Life Metaphor

Jason Shelfer

are to unpack. Unpacking and repacking.

Jana Shelfer

You've got to unpack. You know, I had a boss, Mr. Jim Phillips. He moved into a new house while I was working for him. And it literally was years later, where he still had boxes in his house that he had not unpacked.

Jason Shelfer

You know, I wonder what the statistic is on number of people who have moved and still have boxes that they haven't unpacked.

Jana Shelfer

Because you don't know where to put things.

Jason Shelfer

Well, mom and dad just my mom and dad just sold their house that they that we got married in 21 years ago.

Jana Shelfer

Don't remind me. That was a very sentimental thing for me.

Jason Shelfer

I know. And I I guarantee you some of those boxes that they just got out of their garage were there when they moved there.

Jana Shelfer

I know. So what is it about unpacking? Because we're talking about physical examples of where we need to unpack, yet it's such a metaphor for life.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer

Like because so many times we have thoughts, feelings, unanswered dreams, emotions, all these things that we we will take from experience to experience or from one segment of life to the next. We pack them away somewhere deep in our soul, and then we kind of push them aside because we don't want to face.

Jason Shelfer

We don't want to face them. I mean, sometimes we'll just we'll we'll not even pack them deep away. We'll just carry them right up in the front. Like

The Broken Glasses We Carry

Jason Shelfer

I'll deal with somebody in a show.

Jana Shelfer

I'll just carry this because I don't know. You know what? That is such a great okay. That is such a great point because I know I have a pair of broken glasses in my purse. Now my purse is only five inches.

Jason Shelfer

That big old little tiny piece.

Jana Shelfer

And I have a pair of broken glasses.

Jason Shelfer

And your glasses are big.

Jana Shelfer

And I just keep carrying them in my purse because I think, well, you know what? You never know when I'm gonna pass an eyeglass store and I can just run in and get them fixed. So I just carry around these broken pair of glasses. Now, the thing is, is whenever we go into somewhere and I need to take my purse, a lot of times I will take everything out of my purse and leave it in the floorboard of the car because my purse is so small. And then I come back in, I'm like, oh I gotta put all that back in my phone.

Jason Shelfer

I gotta have my money in my phone.

Jana Shelfer

Yes.

Jason Shelfer

And my my clippers.

Jana Shelfer

Oh, I gotta have my my in case you get that hangnail. Exactly. Right? But uh I'm it's silly that I carry it around. Yeah. But we all do this.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, the good thing about that is at least you are aware of the glasses and you've chosen to put the glasses in there. There's there are times when I I know for a fact that I have and and I this is something that I can look back on. Yes. So it's a lot easier to look back on things and say, Oh, I can see where I did that. Yes. Hindsight's 2020, where I've had an an encounter with someone. Oh no. You know, yeah. And then I will go to the next person, and some of that encounter that I had with the previous person rubs off on the next person. Oh and not in the best way.

Jana Shelfer

I can see it when So you're carrying around maybe unprocessed feelings.

Jason Shelfer

You know, it's just it's just one thing that it's it's carrying the baggage from one conversation to the next. Not the gifts. Not like I and I will carry the gifts too, but I carry the baggage when I don't need to carry the baggage. I could process it, I could just let it go.

Jana Shelfer

I I could To the point where it just gets so heavy that you're like, okay, I do need to let some of this go.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, and I think sometimes we just need to kind of like you do with your glasses, is get eyes on it and then say, is this worth it? Because one thing I do know about your glasses is that they are specially picked out, and you you take a lot of time deciding on your glasses because they're um they look good on you, they're they're fun. I have fun glasses. They're fun, entertaining, and exciting, and they serve a purpose.

Jana Shelfer

Yes, okay.

Jason Shelfer

So getting them repaired is like they're artistic things for your face. For like they're they're not just like it's like furniture for my face. I order, I order mine by the by the fives and six packs because they're they serve a purpose.

Jana Shelfer

But it's about carrying baggage, it is about carrying glasses. That's what we're talking about, is carrying baggage. Yeah, because we all do this. I know that there was one

Why We Avoid Letting Go

Jana Shelfer

point in your life where you literally use the baggage analogy, and you said, I just felt like I had rocks in a backpack.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, and every every day I would go out and I would walk. It was like I was going out for a walk, but the backpack was so heavy that I would keep pushing my feet forward, and the backpack was so heavy that my face was in the pavement and I was just rubbing my face off.

Jana Shelfer

Okay, so why do we do this? I think it's to avoid uncomfortable conversations. We do this to avoid hurting other people's feelings, and many times we put other people's feelings over our own.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, I also think we we sometimes we take on baggage, like we we just pick up baggage at uh at train stations that we don't even go to. Like we just we we we accept these ideas that give us this response quote unquote responsibility that uh isn't true. Like they're they're the unwritten rules that we say, okay, I'll take it, I'll put it in my backpack, I'll carry, I'll carry this load, I'm a donkey, I'm a jackass. That's exactly what happens. I'll be your jackass world.

Jana Shelfer

And we just carry it.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, and and we never stop to examine it.

Jana Shelfer

And you know, another thing is sometimes I feel like we carry around emotions or these ideas because we don't know how to process it. If for example, like my boss who didn't unpack his his house for six years, I mean, he unpacked it to the point where he could get by day

The Garage And Old Business Wounds

Jana Shelfer

to day, but then he was like, Oh, there's a box that I still haven't unpacked.

Jason Shelfer

Is it important?

Jana Shelfer

Because you don't know where to put things. I mean, it's it's going on right now in our garage.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer

We we started cleaning out our garage about five weeks ago now. And it funny how time flies we have things the cars are not in the garage. We actually we were gonna hire someone, and then she came back and she said it was gonna be fourteen hundred dollars, and we both were like, um, we can just do it ourselves. It's 25 boxes. Yeah, we'll just pay ourselves fourteen hundred dollars and we'll just do it. And here it is five weeks later, and we still have uh would have been worth it in our garage, and at this point, I'm almost ready to call that lady with my tail between my legs and say, Can you come clean up our mess? Because I don't know what to do with this stuff. And there is emotional entanglement in all of it because it does have to do with the beginnings of our business, so there's sentimental things. It also shows how far we've come, it also shows maybe some of the not so successful moments that we have faced together and the feedback for for me, especially that is uh a little hard to face.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer

And it's easier for me to just put it in a box and put it in the camper, right? Than to go through it and say, okay, am I willing to let go of this? You know, am I willing to let go of that conference where I spent weeks putting together an offer and we got zero bites on it? Right. Not even uh, hey, tell me more. So something there went awry. Do you know what I'm saying? And for me, that that's a sting. That's a sting.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, and and is it were we in front of the wrong people, or was it just hey?

Jana Shelfer

No, it was. I mean, obviously, there was a a compounding of a lot of things that weren't right. And we were maybe Jana was a little delusional at the time to even put it out there, and yet at the same time, I'm proud of that, Jana, for putting it out there.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer

Because now a lot of times I think maybe my my biggest challenge is I don't offer things enough because I'm afraid of what's going on in the garage of those of that one box that has all of the flyers, that's the thing. All of the presentation. Because maybe we it's time to let go of that.

Jason Shelfer

Let's just get rid of those. I mean, it's because we remember, I but I we remember the times where we made the offer and no one showed up. I remember the time are I remember the first, I remember that first speech. Or not even the first speech, it was kind of like that first presentation. What at the library? Yes, where seven people seven people showed up, and then we went out into the library and got more people.

Jana Shelfer

The reason there were seven people is because we were like recruiting people in the library. I started crying. Like arguing. I went into this meeting that was happening at the library. I mean, they were having a a meeting, and I literally knocked on their door and I was like, for the uh presentation. I go, we're about to have a presentation in the other room, and I just want to interrupt your meeting because I think that my presentation would benefit everyone here.

Jason Shelfer

But you know what? It took balls. You're welcome. It took balls and it got more people in there.

Jana Shelfer

But seven, it we only had seven. In the grand scheme of things, we only had seven people.

Jason Shelfer

That's a week's worth of people.

Jana Shelfer

And that there's something about that that makes me cry so to this day.

Jason Shelfer

To me, that is it like hurts.

Jana Shelfer

It's such a wound inside me that I don't ever want to face that again.

Jason Shelfer

Well, to me, that's a thing of pride because so many people will never even start. Like this is the to me, I I remember Tony Robin. I remember almost everyone that has the biggest stages right now talking about that moment.

Jana Shelfer

I know. And we had we've had it. Oh, we've we've had a couple of them, really. I'm sure everyone has had a couple of them. Where I I literally am paralyzed at this point. That's such a weird word to use. But I literally am paralyzed when it comes to making an offer. When it comes to offering my speaking skills for a price, I almost freeze and say, you know what? You might be better finding someone else. That's why we I mean, I have not really told anyone about my journals, my art journals, and there's something that is protecting myself a little bit.

Jason Shelfer

That's why I do all the marketing for that.

Jana Shelfer

Yeah, I know. But I I feel like if I if I really want to sell my art journals, I need to be my biggest cheerleader. Biggest badass self, which you are a bigger, so there definitely is some there's some emotions that need to be unpacked around that. And whoever is listening to this, I know you're there, and I know that you're probably thinking about your own life, and you're asking yourself, in what area of my life am I maybe not showing up fully? Maybe not going for the home

Home Runs Strikeouts And Playing Small

Jana Shelfer

run.

Jason Shelfer

Swinging that bat.

Jana Shelfer

Yeah, maybe I'm just waiting for the walk.

Jason Shelfer

Or bunting. Yeah. Hoping for a bunt, hoping the ball hits me so I I can I can play the victim and just walk to first. Yeah. Please, God, just let the pitcher hit me again so I can I can say, look at my bruise. I got to first. I can cry a little on the way.

Jana Shelfer

And people will say, Oh my god, are you okay?

Speaker 2

Are you okay? How bad did it hurt?

Jason Shelfer

I'm so proud of you for getting to first. You didn't strike out. Like, I don't even want the butt. Just hit me with the ball, please.

Jana Shelfer

Oh my gosh, that that hits me in such a humorous way because I can relate to that. And I I feel like in my life, especially when it comes to my career, I have started to. I mean, I I came out swinging. I came out swinging, going, I'm gonna hit a home run or strike out, and you know what? I'm going for it.

Jason Shelfer

Because you are a freaking home run hitter.

Jana Shelfer

However, I have struck out so many times that people are starting to say, uh, does she even still have it in her? I don't know. She might be a housebed.

Jason Shelfer

That's not that's not true at all. That's that's an internal Jana voice, and we all have it. We all have it. Babe Ruth, I'm sure, at some point was like, damn it, that home run's gotta be right around the corner. Because he struck out more than anybody. And now I'm just spouting crap because I don't watch baseball and I don't, I'm not a baseball stats person. I just know like Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, these people are names that I know and they hit a lot of home runs. Listen to us.

Jana Shelfer

I know that we become an expert whenever the topic comes up. Last week we were experts in World Cup soccer.

Jason Shelfer

I know the name messy because I live a messy life. But Babe Ruth, I know if you're gonna hit a lot of home runs, you're gonna strike out a lot. That's the thing.

Jana Shelfer

I know it I also feel that people who are really successful and people who live to their fullest potential, people who have breakthroughs over and over again are the ones who can handle the strikeouts, the strikeouts, and what it is, and all of the emotions and pressure and feelings, perceptions, all of the, all of that chaos and energy that surrounds that. I don't want to call it failure, but that's what it is.

Jason Shelfer

I think there's one of those things where it's like a team, what's a team want? Do they want the home run hitter or do they want that that person that's gonna be the the 500 average batter, you know, the person that says, you know what? More often than not, I'm gonna get a base hit or I'm gonna, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna put someone in scoring position. And this is this is I think where you are. I don't think you like I would give yourself like a 750 batting average. Yeah. And I am talking things I don't know anything about.

Jana Shelfer

Yeah, I would I don't even know if that's good. I'm like 750, that sounds like a C.

Jason Shelfer

Like I would I would say any, like that's probably unheard of batting average.

Jana Shelfer

Okay, but it's a a 75 and let's let's talk three.

Jason Shelfer

So this is like you are doing incredible.

Jana Shelfer

Well, thank you for that. But you're a little biased because you sleep with me here.

Jason Shelfer

So look at this. How many people on average in the world are three-time paralympians? Gold medalists, silver medalists, hold on, don't interrupt because I'm on a roll. We're able to start in a new sport at the age of 49 and then go from finishing last to finishing as world champion 14 months later. So this is you are a home run hitter who in the rest of life hits regular balls, like gets out there and and takes swings, isn't scared to swing, but sometimes doesn't take a full swing because of some of the missed balls.

Jana Shelfer

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer

And it's remembering that you're you are a freaking home run hitter, and it's okay to take those big swings because you are a frickin' rock star.

Jana Shelfer

Uh I believe we've gotten a little sidetracked because our topic today was unpacking. But

Packing Fear After A Big Leap

Jana Shelfer

what we what you have just shown to me is I do have some limiting beliefs that I need to unpack around this.

Jason Shelfer

We all do, and I think every I think everybody out there has something in that realm to unpack because that's just one of those things about hey, what is it that where you you said earlier, where am I showing up small? And what what might I be need to unpack? What am I carrying forward from something in my past where I was hurt, where I was aware of it enough.

Jana Shelfer

Here's the thing though, like for me, and and I know that other people can relate to this, it hurt at such a critical time. It hurt at a time where I was going through a transition of leaving my radio career, and there was something inside me that wanted to prove that I could do this. Do you know what I'm saying? 100%. And then that's when and my biggest fear, my biggest doubt that was playing in my ear was that oh, you know what? Maybe they were right, maybe I should have just stayed where I was. But no, I took this big leap of faith, and it felt like I landed flat on my face.

Jason Shelfer

And then everybody was gonna say, I told you so. Yeah. Yeah. That so, and we all everybody has the I had a few moments like that.

Jana Shelfer

Uh I can think of four right off the top of my head that happened one right after another, it feels like.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah. So we can pinpoint those, yeah, or we can look at the compounding evidence of success. Because I guarantee and I think this is where we in in our in our adult brains, yes, we look in the world a lot of times through a microscope, and we look for what is the evidence of X? And some and oftentimes we're gonna look at the evidence of how can I protect myself. Correct. And this is where we're packing, this is where the baggage comes from.

Jana Shelfer

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer

This is this is okay, what am I putting in the trunk of the car? Like, what am I putting in the suitcase? And then what am I carrying? And what am I carrying?

Jana Shelfer

And and is how is that building uh a prison for myself, really?

Jason Shelfer

Is what I'm carrying what I'm gonna want to wear on the trip I'm going on.

Jana Shelfer

Oh, that's so good.

Jason Shelfer

You know, like is what I'm is what I'm packing in my luggage gonna look good on me for where I'm planning on going or where I want to go. Yeah. So if I'm not inspecting what's in the suitcase and I show up at a beach on the Amalfi coast, yeah, and I have all these winter clothes in there because I'm scared it's gonna be cold, or I'm scared

Lighten The Load And Release Nostalgia

Jason Shelfer

that no one's gonna want to see it.

Jana Shelfer

Whereas instead of being scared, I just need to have the confidence that I'll be able to adapt and figure it out along the way. Yeah, I mean So lighten the load. Don't take a bag, buy it when you get there. Lighten the load. Lighten the load is really what we're saying. Unpack. Unpack and let go of what does what no longer serves me at this moment.

Jason Shelfer

Yeah, and I think it also kind of goes back to our last.

Jana Shelfer

There's some nostalgia that I don't want to let go of even my the former version of myself.

Jason Shelfer

Sometimes we don't even want to let go of that sorrow.

unknown

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Jason Shelfer

Like, this is this is the whole reason we listen to sad songs during a breakup.

Jana Shelfer

You're right.

Jason Shelfer

No, it feels so good to feel so bad.

Jana Shelfer

I know. I'm like, I'm a creep.

Jason Shelfer

It feels so good to feel so bad.

Jana Shelfer

I'm a weirdo. What am I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't belong here.

Speaker 2

I'm a creepy.

Jana Shelfer

And I'm like, these are terrible lyrics.

Speaker 2

I know I'm Living Lucky®, baby.

Jana Shelfer

Somehow it just it resonates with some part of me.

Speaker 2

Why is it making my soul vibrate?

Jana Shelfer

Right?

Speaker 2

But it's I'm Larry, that's my brother Daryl, my other brother Daryl.

Jana Shelfer

Okay, I don't know where that came in.

Final Takeaway And Where To Find Us

Jana Shelfer

Unpack, let go of what no longer serves you right now. Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®. Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.