Selling Your Soul: Misaligned Success

Selling Your Soul for Pennies: The Hidden Cost of "Doing it All" 📉✨

What if the cost of your peace isn't a one-time bargain, but a thousand tiny trades you barely notice? In this episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast, Jason and Jana Banana expose how we "sell our soul" for approval, productivity, and likes. It’s not about villains—it’s about the slow drift of people-pleasing and the myth of "noble exhaustion."

We tackle soul fatigue: that hollow feeling when you’ve checked every box but feel zero joy. Whether you’re trapped in an "always-on" work identity or erasing your boundaries to be a "helper," this is your guide to reclaiming your integrity and mindset.

Learn to:

• Identify Micro-Trades: Spot where you trade energy for "pennies and praise."
• Recognize Soul Exhaustion: Signs your nervous system is overtaxed and how to reset.
• Master the "Precise No": Protect your best "yes" by viewing boundaries as stewardship.
  
  Nuggets:
• Loyalty vs. Self-Abandonment: Hard work is a virtue until it eclipses your health. Don't be loyal to a company that won't love you back. (Believe in your circumstances).
• The "Helper" Trap: Helpfulness without boundaries is self-erasure. If you’re 40 and still moving furniture for pizza, it’s time to value your bandwidth. (Believe in yourself).
• Regulate to Resonate: Your soul speaks loudest in the quiet. Prioritize rest to hear your inner intelligence. (Believe in the people around you).
• The 24-Hour Correction: When you notice a drift in integrity, make one corrective move within 24 hours. (Believe in a higher power).

Stop trading your energy for pennies. Hit play to start the 2-step soul check and begin Living Lucky® today!

• Overcoming people pleasing habits, signs of burnout and soul fatigue, how to set healthy boundaries
• "What are the symptoms of soul exhaustion?" Soul exhaustion often manifests as chronic fatigue that rest doesn't fix, a loss of interest in hobbies, feeling like a "chameleon" to please others, and a constant need for external validation (likes/praise) to feel worthy.
• "How do I stop selling my soul for approval?" Use the "Two-Question Soul Check." Ask yourself: "How am I?

Transcript

Framing The Soul Question

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®. You are T. We're talking about selling your soul.

Jason Shelfer 0:23

Hello! Soul's for sale!

Selling Out For Pennies

Jana Shelfer 0:25

Oh no! My soul is not for sale. Right? However, so many times we make choices that don't agree with our inner selves, and yet we think we're doing it because we want to please people or because we think it's what we're supposed to do.

Jason Shelfer 0:44

That's so big. It's oftentimes that we associate selling our soul with ungodly wealth, like all this, all this.

Jana Shelfer 0:52

If somebody asked you, if somebody asked you how much money would you sell your soul for, you would come up with a number of people.

Jason Shelfer 1:00

But they're ridiculous number. Like the biggest ridiculous number.

Jana Shelfer 1:04

I am not gonna sell my soul. That is crazy. I mean, we see it in movies where ooh, you know, the devil comes and makes sense. The devil comes and makes an offer that you can't refuse.

Jason Shelfer 1:18

I'm gonna I'm gonna give you all the success you've ever dreamed of.

Jana Shelfer 1:21

And we talk about selling your soul to the devil. Yeah. However, in reality, we sell our soul for pennies.

Jason Shelfer 1:30

Right. That hits so hard.

Jana Shelfer 1:34

We sell our soul for likes on social media.

Jason Shelfer 1:38

Wow.

Work Devotion Vs Soul Loyalty

Jana Shelfer 1:39

Am I right? Or am I right?

Jason Shelfer 1:40

Yeah, we sell so I I remember back when I was working 80 hours a week. Yes, I remember those days. Not taking a day off. But and it wasn't because I I felt like I needed a day off. I had convinced myself that I'm a person who is always available. You loved working, always like that's what I told myself.

Jana Shelfer 2:03

Even when you quit your job, people would call a year, sometimes two years later, and say, Hey, I've got trouble. Uh I need some papers shredded boxes, I've got a warehouse of things that need to be shredded. And you would try to step in and help them, and I would say, You're not working there anymore. It's not your and you're like, but these are my clients, and I have this loyalty.

Jason Shelfer 2:25

I had a relationship with them, and that's but the thing is, I gave up the relationship with my soul. Like I gave up the relationship with my with everything else in life that I wanted.

Jana Shelfer 2:37

Yeah, because sometimes I mean I remember it during that time period then, for some reason your name was on the internet of who's still there.

Jason Shelfer 2:46

It's still there. Once it's out there, you can't undo it.

Jana Shelfer 2:50

And so random strangers would call wanting.

Jason Shelfer 2:54

Hey, I'm in Arizona and I can't get anybody to come shred.

Jana Shelfer 2:57

I need a truck. I need a truck to come shred these.

Jason Shelfer 3:01

You missed the service.

Jana Shelfer 3:02

This law firm.

Jason Shelfer 3:03

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 3:04

Like you had, and you would try to you would take your time and your energy to try to help.

Jason Shelfer 3:11

So the one thing that I know in my soul is that I'm a helper.

Jana Shelfer 3:14

That is true.

Jason Shelfer 3:15

Like I know I've I've wanted to help people since I was four years old.

Jana Shelfer 3:19

That is true.

Jason Shelfer 3:20

You know, it's cra it's crazy. I just remember always being the kid who wanted to find a solution for someone.

Jana Shelfer 3:28

Yes.

Recognizing Soul Exhaustion

Jason Shelfer 3:28

And that's it's it's inherent in me. But the thing is, I didn't realize that until you saw me on a Zoom meeting during COVID and how miserable I was, like you had to see it from the outside. I couldn't see it from the inside. And then I recognized this soul exhaustion, which was really just me kind of giving up pieces of my soul every day and every every Zoom meeting that I went to, all these things that weren't in alignment with who I thought I could be.

Jana Shelfer 4:02

But if somebody would have said Jason, you've sold your soul to the devil, you would have been like, No, I haven't.

Jason Shelfer 4:09

If someone had said I've sold my soul to the company for pennies, I would have said, No, I haven't, I'm just devoted. I'm just I'm just um committed, I'm just loyal.

Speaker 1 4:19

I'm a hard worker.

Jason Shelfer 4:20

And it's a it's a weird thing, but if you it's the awareness of, okay, how does my soul feel right now? You know, it's just asking that question. How does my soul feel? Am I full? Am I living fearlessly and free?

Jana Shelfer 4:37

Okay, let's stop. Because, you know, we say things we use words and terms and definitions like that. Soul exhaustion is a thing. However, I don't think most people know the distinction of when their soul is speaking and when it's just their body.

Jason Shelfer 4:59

No, well, I think they're like internally, they do know. Like I think, and you I think you feel that or you you you get awareness of this when you take those vacations. It's like the third day of the vacation when you've kind of allowed yourself to disregul or regulate your nervous system, you know, and you kind of reach this moment where your soul says, This is what I need more of in my life. You know, we get or we get around family and the like the tensions drop because some if you're if you're like me, there's gonna be tension in the family, but there's also a a ton of love.

Speaker 1 5:39

Okay.

Jason Shelfer 5:39

So you allow that tension to drop, so the the emotions are regulated, or even the that excitement of seeing people for the first time, and then kind of allowing their uh idiosyncrasies to be okay.

Vacations, Regulation, And Clarity

Jana Shelfer 5:54

Okay, so what you're talking about how to recognize your soul is speaking?

Jason Shelfer 6:00

Yeah, like my soul spoke at my sister's wedding, and I I remember I broke. Because I'll I'm I've been a person that would tell myself I don't need contact with my family, like I don't need them as much as they kind of need each other.

Jana Shelfer 6:18

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 6:19

And when I was at her wedding, I was like, I wasn't, I my soul said you haven't been there for her. You left when she was kind of going through some of the hardest times of her life. And I I said in my mind or in my soul, I was like, I just want to be a better brother, you know, I want to be the better me for the collective family.

Jana Shelfer 6:41

Yeah.

Family Moments That Wake You Up

Jason Shelfer 6:41

And I do need relations, like the relationships.

Jana Shelfer 6:46

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 6:46

Because I'd I'd gotten into that whole work mode of no, I'm gonna go build my world, make my fortune. Yes, and cut cut ties. Like I had cut when we met, I told people I I was like, I'm never getting married. That was the that was the Jason that was like, no soul, you know. I love working. That was how what I convinced myself. I love the work.

Jana Shelfer 7:12

That was your identity.

Jason Shelfer 7:13

Yes, it's crazy.

Jana Shelfer 7:16

So when someone says you had sold your soul for I mean, for a job that you you did like your job at the time, but you really weren't getting paid. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, you were getting paid well, don't get me wrong, but not well enough to cut ties with your family.

Jason Shelfer 7:37

Right. Or not be not be having fun every day.

Jana Shelfer 7:42

Or not be available to express, right? Yeah.

Jason Shelfer 7:47

To to start like I was turning out those little light switches in my mind and in my heart and in my soul. Like I was saying, love, don't need it, got got my job.

Jana Shelfer 7:56

Right, I'm feeling like I'm focused on career.

Jason Shelfer 7:58

My money, my soul is being fed like a slot machine. Put the money in. Let's put it, you know. It's crazy. But I didn't recognize any of it.

Jana Shelfer 8:08

I so when we said that we were gonna talk about selling your soul today, I it didn't really resonate with me. I thought, I don't, I don't do that. I don't, that's not me, that's not my problem. And then I, you know, I've really been thinking about it. I believe that I am a people pleaser and I want to be liked. I want to be popular, I want to, I want people to like me. And sometimes I do feel like I maybe skew those boundaries so that I can please others or put that ahead of.

Jason Shelfer 8:54

And I feel like there's always gonna be a part of that. Like I will, I will sometimes because this is you remember me saying this a lot. Like, if it doesn't hurt me, what's the harm in helping them? Or if it doesn't hurt me, what's the harm in giving to that person? And it's about giving time, resources, energy at all.

Jana Shelfer 9:16

Yeah.

Identity, Productivity, And Numb Routines

Jason Shelfer 9:17

So like I understand that now, but I also understand that there's we can say no to people.

Jana Shelfer 9:23

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 9:25

And that allows us to say yes to the people that are already on our path, on our road, on our like in alignment with where our soul is taking us. Because what I was doing was saying yes to everybody. I know.

Jana Shelfer 9:41

We both have, we've been almost like chameleons to where we try to fit the mold of what other people want us to be.

Jason Shelfer 9:49

Yeah, and I would take I would go down a rabbit trail and be meeting all these new people that want me to say yes to. I'm like, yes, yes, I was yes, yes, the yes guy. I can do that. I can help you move even though you're 40. I'll help you move furniture. I was like, if you're 40, let's just say hire somebody to move you. You know what I'm saying?

Jana Shelfer 10:14

Once you once you're 40, I'm sorry, but pizza and beer is not is not payment for movies.

Jason Shelfer 10:20

Like, I should that those are things that I should say no to. In fact, I should be like, oh, I'll help you move, and then I hire somebody to go do it. They're like, where's Jason? No, he doesn't do this stuff anymore. He doesn't even mow his own lawn. He loves you, so he hired me. He cares about you as a person, so he hired me to go. And that sounds so I'm saying it out loud and it sounds weird, but there comes a point in time where it's like, okay, you choose, do do I like mowing my lawn? I love I love having it mowed.

Jana Shelfer 10:52

I do too. I love manicured lawn.

People Pleasing And Boundaries

Jason Shelfer 10:55

It would take me twice as long, and I would be worried about it all the time if we didn't have a team of people doing it.

Jana Shelfer 11:01

I think that would be the the divorce, the pinnacle of fights for us.

Jason Shelfer 11:08

So that would be you driving the boat um and me trying to ski. Yes.

Jana Shelfer 11:13

Because I would be like, honey, don't you think it's time to get out and mow the lawn today?

Jason Shelfer 11:18

And you've been out here for three hours mowing it and you missed a spot. That could be straighter. The lines in the yard aren't straight. It's so funny, right? So why even why even create that hoopla in my life? Just, hey, let's find someone that will come in and for X number of dollars a week, mow the yard.

Jana Shelfer 11:37

Yeah. All right. So let's wrap this up. We're talking about selling your soul. And I know if you're like me, that topic, that question, you're gonna sit back and go, you know what? This does not apply to me. I do not sell my soul. I don't do that.

Saying No To Say Yes

Jason Shelfer 11:56

Yeah, and I think you just have to ask yourself the question, hey, how does my soul feel? Can I even hear it anymore? Because I had lost complete connection with my relationship with my soul.

Jana Shelfer 12:06

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 12:06

I really had. I'd started living life on rote. Like by what did I do yesterday? How do I do that? Right.

Jana Shelfer 12:13

This is my routine. This is who I am.

Jason Shelfer 12:16

It doesn't matter if I feel worse at the end of every day, um, as long as I feel accomplished.

Jana Shelfer 12:21

Yeah. As long as I feel productive.

Jason Shelfer 12:23

Right.

Jana Shelfer 12:23

I don't even know if accomplished is the right word. It's uh do I feel productive? Did I get things marked off my legs? That's the thing.

Jason Shelfer 12:31

So I had I had started getting into this routine of it's just kind of a very incremental increase in stress, incremental increase in body pain, you know, and body fatigue, all these little things. I didn't know what it felt like to take a deep breath.

Jana Shelfer 12:49

Oh, I literally unless you were smoking a cigarette.

Jason Shelfer 12:53

Well, right, back when I smoked, yeah. And and how good is that for you?

Practical Choices: Outsourcing Life

Speaker 1 12:58

Like, and I would take it. It was so crazy. Probably the reason you were smoking cigarettes is so that you could take a deep breath.

Jason Shelfer 13:07

And I I remember saying that. So this is the breath that I take for me. Like that was the thought track. Like, I'm I'm not gonna quit because this is the one breath I get for myself. That's nuts. Like, that's just not logical thinking.

Jana Shelfer 13:24

Oh my gosh.

Jason Shelfer 13:25

So it's it's asking ourselves, okay, how does my soul feel? And open just calling your soul, you know, open up that line of communication again, open up that relationship, and then checking. Like when you said to someone at one of our um meetings or at church, you said, How are you? They said, I'm great. And you said, How are you really? And then you find out they're living in a van with their family, like things aren't great. Yeah, you know, things aren't good. It's the worst part of our lives. So we check with our soul like that. Yeah. How are you? How are you really?

Jana Shelfer 13:58

How are you? Yeah. You know? And then we I feel like that's a whole different topic.

Jason Shelfer 14:02

It is a different topic, but it's it's it's checking in with your soul. Do you feel alive and free, or do you feel like I'm smothering you or I'm making choices that are moving away from that life and freedom?

Jana Shelfer 14:13

I like it. I like it. Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 14:16

Keep Living Lucky® bye-bye.

The Two-Question Soul Check

Jana Shelfer 14:19

If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.