Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

National Quitter's Day: Are You Quitting ON yourself, or Quitting FOR Yourself

Jana and Jason Shelfer Season 10 Episode 4

Quitting for Success: Are You Sabotaging or Aligning? 🛑✨

Is quitting a weakness—or a high-level mindset shift? This National Quitters Day, we’re flipping the script on the "winners never quit" myth. Discover the life-changing difference between quitting on yourself (self-sabotage) and quitting for yourself (strategic alignment).

Learn to identify "idea farts"—those bursts of inspiration that turn into heavy obligations—and how to pivot without losing your North Star.

In this episode, you will learn to:

  • Identify "Idea Farts": Distinguish between a soul-aligned calling and fleeting inspiration that creates "busy work."
  • Master the Strategic Pivot: Keep the goal (e.g., connection) but change the vehicle (e.g., joining a group instead of leading one).
  • The Gut Test: Use the "Relief vs. Shame" check to ensure your choices honor your future best self.

Mindset Nuggets for Soul-Level Alignment:

  • Winners Quit Often: Real winners quit everything out of alignment to win at what matters. (Believe in your circumstances).
  • Relief as a Compass: If letting go brings clarity, it's a "steward's choice." If it brings smallness, it’s a limiting belief. (Believe in yourself).
  • Be the Passenger: You don’t have to captain every "good idea." Sometimes your soul just needs to enjoy the ride. (Believe in the people around you).
  • Alignment over Ambition: Protecting your energy is leadership. Dropping what drains you creates space for a higher power to work. (Believe in a higher power).

Stop white-knuckling through "shoulds." Hit play to reclaim your energy and start Living Lucky® today!

Self-help, personal development, mindset shift, limiting beliefs, positive thinking, life coaching. Difference between quitting on and for yourself, how to find alignment, overcoming social obligation, building community without burnout, strategic quitting for success.

  • "Is it okay to quit a goal?" Yes, if the goal is no longer in alignment with your core values. Quitting for yourself means letting go of a method to protect your energy for a higher purpose.
  • "How do I know if I'm self-sabotaging or just pivoting?" Check your internal response: "Quitting for yourself" feels like relief and clarity. "Quitting on yourself" feels li

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning.

Jason Shelfer:

I'm Jason.

Jana Shelfer:

And we are Living Lucky®. You are too. It's National Quitters Day. Woohoo! I quit.

Jason Shelfer:

Second Friday in January, National Quitters Day.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm not sure if quitting in this sense is a good thing or a not so good thing.

Jason Shelfer:

All right. And I I feel that too. Like the first thought in my mind was National Quitters Day. Is that something to celebrate? Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

Are we like rooting for quitting?

unknown:

Right.

Jana Shelfer:

Well, then I thought, okay, well, are we take this job and shove it?

Jason Shelfer:

I ain't working here no more. So my my next thought was, are you quitting on yourself or are you quitting for yourself?

Jana Shelfer:

Oh. Oh, okay.

Jason Shelfer:

Because those are two very different quittings. Right?

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, because sometimes uh quitting can clear space, you know. If we're doing things, maybe not because our soul wants to do them, but because we feel obligated or we feel like we should do something, or like we have to do something. They're almost external expectations.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, I remember having a conversation with you about alignment. And like, are these things aligned with what we want, where we're going, and the things that we want in our lives? But sometimes I'll I am uh I am guilty so much of sometimes picking a goal or picking a this this uh putting a target on the wall for something that's a little bit out of alignment. Okay, and I'll try to justify and figure out a way to make it work.

Jana Shelfer:

I feel like you're doing that with me. No, I'm just gonna fill everyone in right now. So yesterday I had this idea fart. It literally was this burst of inspiration, and I was like, I'm gonna start a group. I'm gonna start my own club.

Jason Shelfer:

A women's club. Man haters, man haters and man haters.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm gonna start a women's club. It's gonna be a social club because I, for my 2026 New Year's resolutions, I did put I would like to build relationships on that.

Jason Shelfer:

I remember.

Jana Shelfer:

I was excited about this for about three hours, and then throughout the day, it started to feel heavy and it started to feel almost like like shackles on me. And the more that I did some research and I was looking at okay, what's the vibe of my club? How am I gonna feed everybody? Are we gonna meet here at the house? What is the purpose of my club? What is our mission statement? Like I started going through these things and I was like, I don't think I want a club, I don't want my own club. I'll just join someone else's club because then it doesn't feel like it's solely my responsibility.

Jason Shelfer:

Right. And the other part of that is you weren't looking for another quote unquote job. Which is what it would be you were looking for increased relationships and more and more and deeper relationships with the people that are in alignment with how we want to live.

Jana Shelfer:

And the more though that I started saying, you know what, I'm not sure this is exactly what I want to do or how I want to spend my time and energy.

Jason Shelfer:

I kept feeding it.

Jana Shelfer:

I feel like you're like, oh, that's a great idea. You gotta do this, Jana. This is perfect.

Jason Shelfer:

There's a reason that inspiration came from you. But see, I didn't have all like I wasn't inside of your soul. Like I know you very well. Um, and once we talked it through, because you actually sat with it, you actually said, Okay, I have been sitting with it.

Jana Shelfer:

What is this goal?

Jason Shelfer:

What does this goal really mean?

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

Why, what is it for? What's my big why behind it? So you were able to unpack all that and then also articulate it between then and now to say it's not completely in alignment.

Jana Shelfer:

I don't I don't know if it is.

Jason Shelfer:

It would be easiest for me, like it would be very much more in alignment for me to find an existing group and go find relationships with people that I would want to meet within that instead of piling on this extra workload when we have an agenda already in place.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

So I get it now. Do you? But I start, but I I allowed your goal, your and we call them idea farts. And that that was something we came up with a couple years ago, was it with James Alteger kind of?

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

And it's one of those things where you get hit with this inspiration, you think really big, and then you for like an hour.

Jana Shelfer:

I was you're smelling it. That was my oh my god. This is this smells so good. Smelling idea farts.

Jason Shelfer:

I don't even remember broccoli. Did I eat broccoli? Because I don't remember it.

Jana Shelfer:

That's terrible, Jason. Jason just took it to a really good.

Jason Shelfer:

I just went over the line.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, so uh when you told me this morning that it's National Quitters Day, there was a little bit of me that was like, oh good, I can quit this idea fart that I had, which yesterday I felt so, so excited about. And then as the day went on, my excitement wavered. And then when I woke up this morning, it just felt like, oh my God.

Jason Shelfer:

Daunting.

Jana Shelfer:

I've already told three people that I'm gonna do this.

Jason Shelfer:

Right.

Jana Shelfer:

And I wish I wouldn't have.

Jason Shelfer:

So then, so was there a shame and guilt or any of that associated with it?

Jana Shelfer:

Because I actually canceled an appointment I had next Thursday because I had put it on the calendar that this is what I'm gonna do. And once it's on the calendar for you and I, it's non-negotiable. It's real. Like that's what it is. And so then I'm like, oh my gosh. Now I feel like I have literally shackled myself to this moving ship, and I'm not ready to it's not going the places you want to go. Maybe, yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

Fully. I mean, fully. So it's like you don't you don't mind getting on a ship. You just don't want to be the captain, the crew, the entertainment, all that stuff. So, because that doesn't fit into everything that we have going on. Like it when you when you set goals, there are things that gonna that you're gonna have to make space for. You said at the very beginning of the podcast. And do we have enough things to let go of to make the amount of space needed to to create this whole new environment?

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

If it's not in 100% alignment with where we're going.

Jana Shelfer:

Now, was it my soul that gave me that inspiration yesterday? So there was something about that whole idea that really lit me up. It really lit me up, and I maybe think it was building a community and really finding my people, yep, and spending time with them. And for I just want a deep friendship. Do you know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer:

And I think that is so in line with your resolution of creating these deeper relationships. And but what happened was is it got clouded by how do I have to do this myself?

Jana Shelfer:

And I also uh feel like just I'm kind of at this point right now where I just want to enjoy life and have joy, period. And so I'm like, that could be really fun. And then all of a sudden, once the planning started and the logistics and I I needed a purpose for meeting, I'm like, why do I even need a purpose? What if I just want to meet because I want friends?

Jason Shelfer:

How do I how do I articulate the simplicity of what I'm looking for? Because it wouldn't be horrible to just say to to hear that 19 friends want to come over and just have a have a chat for an hour by the fire pit, right? That that doesn't sound chacuz on.

Jana Shelfer:

Right. That kind of sounds fun, right? But then when I have to have a purpose for meeting and I have to come up with flyers to tell people why I'm I want to start this group.

Jason Shelfer:

And guidelines about, hey, we're gonna keep this very uplifting and positive, we're gonna help each other, you know, we're not gonna be um having a complain compet complaining competition out here.

Jana Shelfer:

And then it also felt like, oh my gosh, once I start this, then it never ends. Then snow end in summer. Right? Where I'm like, I kind of like to take a month or two off in the summer, I like to take two months off in the winter, like December, November, part of January.

Jason Shelfer:

Oh, you can't let us down.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh yeah, so I I understand when it's National Quitting Day, that's kind of maybe uh almost a permission slip.

Jason Shelfer:

So it almost sounds like this in this scenario, you're quitting for yourself, but not the you're not letting go of the intention and the mission because you immediately told me that you found five other groups in the area that you could visit if you want to. Yeah, if you want to create those relationships. So you quit that specific area on your for yourself that will allow you so much more time to pursue things that are more in alignment with the things that you're really looking for.

Jana Shelfer:

That's the big secret for me. That I mean, that's been the biggest hurdle of my life is finding out what my soul really wants. And I know every life coach is like, you know, you know. Well, if you knew, what would it be? And I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. I when I was in first grade, I literally wanted to take twirling lessons, dance lessons, basketball camp, volleyball camp. Then when I found out Jason Moan was going to art school, I was like, oh, I want to do that. I want to be a drawer, a drawer, a drawer, artiste. So I I remember my mom even saying, Jana, you can't do everything.

Jason Shelfer:

And I I want to do it all. But I can do everything.

Jana Shelfer:

That's a limiting belief, mom. Do you know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer:

100%.

Jana Shelfer:

However, there's only so much time and energy. So quitting some things, even though in my mind we often talk about quitting as being a negative, because I was also brought up that once you start something, winners never quit and quitters never win. You can you can maybe not go out for that sport next season, but you're gonna you're gonna stay in it until blood and guts, girl.

Jason Shelfer:

Get in there, right? Until they call the season quit.

Jana Shelfer:

There's no quitting. Once it's once you decide, you're there's no quitting. So that has been ingrained so deeply in me that it it literally feels like, oh my gosh, I did put this my idea fart yesterday, I did put it on the calendar. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

So this whole saying, winners never quit and quitters never win is kind of a misnomer. Because winners will quit doing things that aren't in alignment with the the real goal. Like the deepest, most impactful goal for them.

Jana Shelfer:

And but okay, yes. The only problem that I'm having is the distinction. How do you know?

Jason Shelfer:

I think you know when you when you can actually feel that you're quitting for yourself instead of on yourself. Because a lot of times we will we will not get something done, or we'll we'll fall short of something and give up. And I think in our hearts we we will feel am I doing this for myself or am I doing it to myself? Like am I is it is it taking away from how I think about myself.

Jana Shelfer:

My best self.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

My few my future best self.

Jason Shelfer:

And I feel you and hear you in all of your expressions saying, I'm not quitting on myself. Hell no. I I'm doing this because I have greater things in mind, and I can't have things getting in the way of that.

Jana Shelfer:

Now the secret is finding out what are those greater things.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, I think you can do it all.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh now you sound like my younger self.

Jason Shelfer:

Put your Wonder Woman cape on because I don't think Wonder Woman wore a cape. So put on her underwear and uh and get out there and do the things that you do.

Jana Shelfer:

Wonder Women wear breeze.

Jason Shelfer:

That's right.

Jana Shelfer:

So I guess our our whole point today is don't quit on yourself, quit for yourself.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, 100%.

Jana Shelfer:

If you need to quit something today, today is National Quitters Day. Make space for what your soul really wants.

Jason Shelfer:

So big.

Jana Shelfer:

Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer:

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.