Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

What If Luck Is Just A Decision?

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 9 • Episode 41

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Luck is a Choice: How to Master Stoic Reframing & Reclaim Your Agency 🐎

What if luck isn't random, but the story you choose to tell?

Inspired by the parable of The Stockhorse and the Stable Cat, we explore why two people can experience the same "wind" and see either freedom or chaos. The truth? The wind is just the wind. Meaning is chosen, not found.

We dive into practical Stoicism to help you move from "Why is this happening to me?" to "How is this happening for me?" Learn to navigate daily stress and life-altering challenges with a narrative that builds momentum.

You will learn to:

  • Neutralize Your Narrative: View events as raw data before assigning labels.
  • Build Stoic Agency: Master your perception (the only thing you truly control).
  • Pivot from Victim to Author: Use micro-choices to rewrite your future.

Mindset Nuggets for Sustainable Growth:

  • The Neutrality Principle: Stop labeling inconveniences as "bad." See them as raw material for your next move.
  • "For Me" vs. "To Me": Shifting perspective doesn't change facts, but it expands your capacity to act. (Believe in your circumstances).
  • Reframing vs. Toxic Positivity: It’s not about pretending the pond is warm; it’s choosing the most useful true story to help you heal.
  • Adversity as a Craft: Jana shares how paralysis became a doorway to deeper connection. Hardship doesn't have to be erased to be redeemed. (Believe in yourself).
  • The Ultimate Question: Replace "Why me?" with "How lucky am I?" to force your brain to scan for value instead of threat.

Stop being a bystander to your own life. Hit play to start crafting a narrative that moves you forward!

  •  How to change your mindset
  • overcoming bad luck
  • Stoic philosophy for beginners
  • how to stop feeling like a victim
  • "How does Stoicism help with personal development?"
  • "What is the difference between reframing and toxic positivity?"
  • "How can I change the story I tell myself about my life?"
  • "Why is luck considered a choice in mindset coaching?"
    Stoicism, Mindset, Reframing, Resilience, Personal Growth, Luck, Stoic Philosophy, Adversity, Mental Toughness, Living Lucky, Jason Shelfer, Jana Banana Shelfer,

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer:

Good morning. I'm Jana. I'm Jason.

Jana Shelfer:

And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer:

You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

It is December 22nd. We are on our way to Tulsa to visit my sisters and all of her kids.

Jason Shelfer:

Oklahoma, where the wind comes rolling across the plains.

Jana Shelfer:

And when you are spending Christmas with little ones, you often start packing for activities to keep them occupied.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes. And keep their attention on this like level playing field.

Jana Shelfer:

So then we can all juggle. Okay, your turn. Your turn. I'm going over here and taking a nap. Your turn.

Jason Shelfer:

Who's in charge of activities right now?

Jana Shelfer:

And one thing we came across was this children's book that my dad actually gave to me and and said that he came across this and thought that I might be interested in this.

Jason Shelfer:

You might enjoy this. It sounds a lot like Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

The Stockhorse and the Stable Cat. It's written by Phil Van Truerin. Now it's a children's book, okay? And so we literally, in my mind, I was thinking, oh, I'll read this to the littles. And I wanted to pre-read it so that I knew which voice to put to the horse and which voice to put to the cat.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Are there any other characters involved that we might need to develop a voice character adaptation for?

Jana Shelfer:

Animate this to make it entertaining. Yes. Right for four-year-olds. And as I was reading it, I started to tear up. It hit home. This little simple book hit home so much because it literally is about a horse, a cat, their unlikely friendship, and how they see the world in such very, very different manners. Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

What's good, what's bad, what do I like, what do I dislike?

Jana Shelfer:

And as I was reading it, I was like, this is Living Lucky®. This is what we talk about all the time. We just haven't been able to put it in an actual terminology. And that term is stoicism. It's a stoic philosophy.

Jason Shelfer:

It's very much a stoic philosophy. It's um, it's it's just it's changing the way you perceive things. Perceive things.

Jana Shelfer:

And choosing the way you're realizing that you have free will.

Jason Shelfer:

How why do we often choose the disempowering thought when we have the option of choosing an empowering thought?

Jana Shelfer:

And why do you think that is?

Jason Shelfer:

I I think it's kind of a taught thing and also a protect, like an internally protective mechanism. It it's it's designed to keep us safe safe.

Jana Shelfer:

So let me just give you the 411 on this book. The horse sees um the breeze coming or feels the wind in the air, and he's like, Oh, I just love this wind. It makes me uh smell the sage in the air. It you know, the wind goes through my fur and makes me feel free. The wind is good, yes, and then of course the cat is like, wind is bad.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, right. Wind makes it hard for it, makes the wheat in the field sway, so it's hard for me to chase the mice, and it's hard, it it ruffles my it it makes my skin crawl. It's bad.

Jana Shelfer:

And then they go to this pond, and of course, the the horse is like, this pond is so good, I can bathe in it, I can drink from it.

Jason Shelfer:

Splash around in it when it's hot.

Jana Shelfer:

And the cat is like, no, no, I hate water.

Jason Shelfer:

Water's the worst thing.

Jana Shelfer:

Ponds are bad, bad, bad. And then they see some goats, and of course, the the cat is like, goats, they you know, provide milk, and milk is yummy, and I love milk. And the horse is like, goats are so annoying.

Jason Shelfer:

They're loud, they trample on everything, they eat all the crap, they jump on things, they're just they're a pain in the butt. They're like kids in a Walmart.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, so throughout their day, they experience different things. They see the guard dog, and the you know, of course, the the cat's like, no, not a dog. This is bad.

Jason Shelfer:

The dog's fun, it's something I'm gonna play with, run around.

Jana Shelfer:

The dog helps me herd cattle, corral the cattle. So it's all in how we perceive our experiences. Yes, and for some reason that just hit home so much because often when we're talking about Living Lucky®, people are like, What do you mean, Living Lucky®? You you were in a car accident, you're paralyzed from the chest down, and you think this is one of the luckiest things that's ever happened to you. And the answer is, yeah, I do.

Jason Shelfer:

Because wrap your head around that.

Jana Shelfer:

I I know how to overcome adversity, and I have deeper relationships, and the opportunities that have come my way, the experience.

Jason Shelfer:

Your imagination is greater than anyone's I've ever known.

Jana Shelfer:

Right?

Jason Shelfer:

Because we always have to imagine what might be out there that we have to navigate, and it's we've already overcome it before we even go towards it.

Jana Shelfer:

Since we started Living Lucky, I've been trying to articulate it in that we all have circumstances, we all have situations, everybody's got a story, right?

Jason Shelfer:

Everybody has a story.

Jana Shelfer:

And it's all in how you choose to tell it. Exactly.

Jason Shelfer:

So there everyone has not only one story, but there's multiple stories. You can tell what happened to you, or you can tell what happened for you.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

So it's and those are two very different perspectives. A lot of times when we're in the storm, we will say what's happening to me because we feel wet. You know, we're we're getting hammered by the lightning and the thunder. We're getting punched in the face. So a lot of times when you're in the storm, all you can feel is that, ugh, you know, when you get through the storm, think about your life in middle school. A lot of people are like, Middle school sucked. However, when you go, when you get into your 30s, when you get into your 40s, then you start saying, Oh, remember the like you get around your high school friends or your middle school friends, and you're like, remember the time when? And and you, those are your best stories. Those are when you're laughing and you're crying and you're and you're like you're reminiscing on some of the best times.

Jana Shelfer:

I sit on my face, started pussing while I was giving a presentation.

Jason Shelfer:

But it turns from catastrophe into a funny story. It's a comedy, really. So so there's a lot of things. But that's a choice.

Jana Shelfer:

Again, that's a choice.

Jason Shelfer:

Right. It is in but you can make that choice sooner, yes, or you can wait 30 years to to do it. You know, and that's the thing is once you recognize, hey, what I'm going through right now is temporary, and I have the option to choose how I'm going to use it or or experience it, that's a game changer. That's when you get to start creating your own reality instead of being a victim of it or a bystander while it happens around you.

Jana Shelfer:

And and back to this book, I feel like that's what was so beautiful about this unlikely friendship between two very, very different creatures, a horse and a cat, and how they can take the exact same circumstance and for one of them, this is the best thing ever. And for the other, they're like, No, stay away. This is terrible. And if you can maybe see it through someone else's eyes, you start realizing, oh, wait a minute. Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And if it can be that way for them, it can be that way for you.

Jana Shelfer:

If you choose to find it.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's what the ending line of every single page. So for the apple, for the wind, for the pond, was the wind is just the wind. The apple is just the apple. The pond is just the pond. We get to choose how we perceive it.

Jana Shelfer:

And how we feel about it. Yes. What we think about it, what we feel about it, and how we act.

Jason Shelfer:

And whatever that story is that we tell about it. Yeah, all that. So then we get to start saying, okay, well, what's the more empowered choice here? And if I choose the more empowered choice, then I have empowerment in my next step forward towards anything I'm going towards, which is a huge thing. And that's when we talk about Living Lucky®. And when we talk every every time we start this podcast, we say, Good morning, we're Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

You are too. And so are you. And so many people have said, I am anything but lucky.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes. So we have a lot of people that have listened to us for a long time that say, you're right. Since I've been listening to this podcast, I am Living Lucky®. However, some of the newer people are like, you don't know my story. Like, you don't know what I'm going through. You don't know what I've been through. I'm the I'm the most unlucky. If luck was anything, it's unlucky for me.

Jana Shelfer:

And many times when we say, Well, it's a choice, then those are then the people start coming out of the woodworks. Well, you have have toxic positivity.

Jason Shelfer:

Oh, I hate that. Oh, if you only knew. Like we have worked around this toxic positivity thing so much because we don't ignore the fact that things are happening.

Jana Shelfer:

No, like there's no experience though. There's no ignoring things.

Jason Shelfer:

It's just okay, well, what's what is a different story I might tell myself about what is happening that can help me instead of hold me down and keep me safe?

Jana Shelfer:

How is this helping me, teaching me, making me grow?

Jason Shelfer:

Everything is teaching us a lesson. Everything is there, everything is happening for a reason. And I think that's a part of stoicism as well. Everything there, we're all going through this spiritual curriculum of life, and it's up to us to figure out how we want to go through it. Do we want to go through it slowly and painfully? Do we want to go through it quickly? Do we want to seek the help of others? It's it's it we all have so many choices, and it's just those little small micro choices that are gonna make all the difference.

Jana Shelfer:

What's so crazy is from a little children's book, how deep the lesson is. I mean, I feel like I've learned so much. I've read this twice already, and I think I'm gonna read it maybe five more times to the littles just because I I get something out of it every time. In fact, I think I just helped maybe define my own brand.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah. Well, I love what it says on the very back of the book because it doesn't say this in the book, but it says, What if the secret to living a happier life was simply changing our attitude about the things we experience?

Jana Shelfer:

And thus so do we.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's it. So when when we say we're Living Lucky®, you are too. Just ask yourself, how lucky am I?

Jana Shelfer:

How lucky am I? Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer:

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.

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Jana Shelfer

Host
Head Shot

Jason Shelfer

Host