Upgrade Your Greeting

Upgrade Your Greeting: How 5 Words Can End The 'Scrolling Humans' Trap 

Hack Your Hello: End Autopilot, Build Real Connection 🗣️

Stuck on "Good morning... I'm fine"? This script drains your spark.

Our self-help playbook from Australia reveals how simple, curious greetings (e.g., "How goes it?") shatter the law of habituation, force presence, and unlock real connection.

Upgrade your first five words for personal development:

• The Habituation Trap: Predictable scripts numb your attention. Stop scrolling humans; start building bonds.
• The Presence Hack: Listen with intent (even across a new accent) to be instantly more present.
• New Scripts: Steal energizing greetings that create meaningful bonds and real stories.

Hear how split attention derails love and the simple reset (name the need, acknowledge the moment) needed to repair misreads. Relationships are the engine; greetings are the spark plugs.

Actionable Takeaways for Deeper Connection:

• Law of Habituation: Canned scripts are autonomic responses. Novelty in phrasing forces your brain to engage.
• Presence is Intentional: Listen intently to make people feel truly seen. Use the one breath, eye contact, one beat of silence rule.
• Retail Script Upgrade: Replace closed questions ("Can I help you?") with open prompts: "What's your highlight so far?"
• Partner Repair: Split attention is poison. The fix: Name the need, acknowledge the moment.
• The Life Engine: Start with curiosity, not courtesy. A new hello changes the map of your day.

Hit play, steal the scripts, and be more present today!

• How to break the habituation trap in conversations.
• New greetings to start better conversations.
• Why 'how are you' is a bad conversation starter.
• The importance of presence in relationships.
• How to repair miscommunication with a partner.
• Tips for better listening and deeper connection.
• "What is the law of habituation in daily life?" "How can I change my greeting to improve communication?" "What are examples of open-ended conversation starters?" "How does presence improve relationship quality?" "Why is listening with intent important?"

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*Previously Recorded

Chapters

• 0:00 From Doom Loop To Living Lucky
• 0:20 Why Typical Greetings Fall Flat
• 1:18 Australian Hellos And Brain Patterns
• 2:45 Listening Harder, Being More Present
• 4:10 Are We Scrolling Our Relationships?
• 5:15 The Dock, Monopoly, And Missed Cues
• 6:46 New Scripts Create Real Connection
• 8:25 Chance Encounters Become Real Links
• 9:40 Make It Relational, Start With You
• 10:00 Practical Upgrades To Your Greeting
• 10:23 Closing And Next Step

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer: 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:19

You are too.

Jana Shelfer: 0:20

How goes it?

Jason Shelfer: 0:21

How goes it, mate? What are you after?

Jana Shelfer: 0:24

You know, I have decided from being here in Australia that I need to upgrade my greeting.

Jason Shelfer: 0:32

I think that is a that's a great assessment.

Jana Shelfer: 0:35

How many times do we say, good morning? How you doing? And people go, Oh, I'm good. Good, I'm fine. I'm fine. And then we walk on and we become very forgettable.

Jason Shelfer: 0:44

You know, that's the I'm good, I'm fine. Those are the usually the best-cased scenario, though.

Jana Shelfer: 0:52

They're canned answers. Like it's almost like we go into this automatic script.

Jason Shelfer: 0:57

Yeah, the passerby.

Jana Shelfer: 0:59

I mean, sometimes we'll say busy but good.

Jason Shelfer: 1:02

You know, like and then you run into the negative Nancy that's like, oh, you're not gonna believe what happened to me.

Jana Shelfer: 1:08

This rain never stops. How are you doing?

Jason Shelfer: 1:11

The stocks have taken a turn.

Jana Shelfer: 1:13

I wish the sun would come out.

Jason Shelfer: 1:15

Oh, it's so hot. The weather's horrible.

Jana Shelfer: 1:18

So we have been in Walla, Australia for a week, week and a half now. And what I've noticed is that people here use just a slightly different greeting. And when they do, it sparks something new in my brain.

Jason Shelfer: 1:36

Yeah, well, a different language strikes up a different conversation.

Jana Shelfer: 1:41

And all of a sudden, when people say, How goes it this morning? I literally stop and I say, Well, you know what? Let me let's just talk about it. Things are rolling pretty fine. And I I find myself like stopping and literally having a conversation.

Jason Shelfer: 1:58

It's just changing a couple of words in the greeting, like not doing the same old, same old.

Jana Shelfer: 2:04

We often talk about the law of habituation. Uh, and I've realized that just when we're pass through passing by people or you know, strangers. It's I don't know why, but in America, I don't really want to get to know strangers.

Jason Shelfer: 2:22

It's the quick way out, it's the quick way through.

Jana Shelfer: 2:25

It's it's yeah, you just nod the head, hey, and then you move on.

Jason Shelfer: 2:29

It's basically a scroll. You're we're scrolling through people in our lives.

Jana Shelfer: 2:33

We are. We are, and we're missing opportunities to connect.

Jason Shelfer: 2:38

And what has happened is because we're getting this new greeting, this different language in the way people interact in the passing by, yes, we hear it differently. So it forces us to say, wait, that's not what I'm used to hearing. Yeah, I need to come up with something that I'm not used to saying.

Jana Shelfer: 2:55

I know, like someone literally said, How goes it? And I'm like, long to carry, hard to carry.

Jason Shelfer: 3:01

I'm like, where'd that come from? Right.

Jana Shelfer: 3:03

Well like that's from a third grade riddle.

Jason Shelfer: 3:06

Right. Well, so our brain is so used to just having that autonomic or automatic response that we we get so caught in that law of habituation.

Jana Shelfer: 3:16

And we have to stop.

Jason Shelfer: 3:18

Yes. So now we've been triggered into okay, that's a different thing I'm hearing. So what's a different thing I'm gonna say?

Jana Shelfer: 3:25

Then the other thing I've noticed, and maybe you can back me up on this, is that because they have a slightly different well, they have a very different accent than what I'm used to. Haven't noticed sometimes I have to really sit and intently listen.

Jason Shelfer: 3:43

I have to listen and watch their mouths.

Jana Shelfer: 3:45

Why is that?

Jason Shelfer: 3:46

Because I it's like turn the radio down so I can see.

Jana Shelfer: 3:50

And what's so bizarre is that because I'm listening so intently, I feel like I'm a little more present.

Jason Shelfer: 3:59

And and they are connecting more deeply with you in that conversation because you've just connected more deeply with them.

Jana Shelfer: 4:07

Now, isn't that bizarre? You're right, Jason. We have we have learned to treat our relationships almost like a social media scroll.

Jason Shelfer: 4:18

Yeah, it's crazy.

Jana Shelfer: 4:19

We literally we we scroll through, occasionally we'll like, like, like, and it's almost like we're doing it without any awareness.

Jason Shelfer: 4:28

One thing that uh may or may not be noticeable for some people that are listening right now is are we doing this with our family, with the people that are closest to us? Of course we are, or are we just doing it with people that we're meeting going through the grocery store, going through the the fast food line, or going going through work?

Jana Shelfer: 4:46

I notice it with you and I all the time. I love being around you. I've also noticed that you and I sometimes one will ask the other a question.

Jason Shelfer: 4:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 4:57

Well, it's and we just kind of continue doing what we're doing. It's like we and it's not that we intentionally are trying to ignore the other person.

Jason Shelfer: 5:06

Like, does that need a response right now? Or is is it just is someone thinking out loud? Like it's like we kind of make these assumptions internally without voicing our thought patterns behind it.

Jana Shelfer: 5:17

No, that's exactly what no, literally. Yesterday we were at the dock and it was my turn to go. Now I was jumping, and I'm I haven't jumped in so long. I wanted to get in the ski, I wanted to actually sit there, I wanted to be on that dock as soon as I possibly could to give myself some time to just and you had probably been building up all these expectations of how it was gonna go in your mind without expressing them fully. And so I'm literally waiting for the person in front of me to get off the dock so that I have room to get on, and then my ski wasn't there, right? Because there wasn't room, and I was like, hey Jason, Jason, and I'm looking up at you, and you're like playing your little monopoly game, going, I'm on, I gotta see if I can win this 20 seconds. Do you know what I'm saying? And and then it I'm like, okay, I gotta wait for him to finish his monopoly game. And it starts coming across as ignoring. Well, ignoring from your end, and then I start yapping a little louder, and it I start getting a little yappy. Do you know what I'm saying? Like a little Yorkshire Terrier. I'm running to ski. I need attention.

Jason Shelfer: 6:32

I need attention over here.

Jana Shelfer: 6:33

I got it. Give me a second. I'm playing Monopoly Go. But that's what we do.

Jason Shelfer: 6:39

That is, and that's that happens on a consistent level throughout people's lives. And that's so that's where, okay, how do we turn the volume down on that and turn the volume up on the connection? And that's I think that's where we can look lean into this, just changing the conversation at the beginning of a conversation, and that's going to create a new connection.

Jana Shelfer: 7:04

A new script.

Jason Shelfer: 7:05

Yes.

Jana Shelfer: 7:06

Because we're just automatically going through the motions, going through the words.

Jason Shelfer: 7:10

And that new script creates a new um new connection on in the stage of life, you know, like that new relationship in in the container that whatever whatever container you're in.

Jana Shelfer: 7:26

Oh, this this podcast today is speaking to me because I have realized I've gotten very lazy at building relationships. Well, I think it's there's something inside me that's like, I'm never gonna see these people again. I don't care.

Jason Shelfer: 7:42

It and how how many people do we talk to, though, on in the last uh seven days that are telling stories about people that they met once 10 years ago?

Jana Shelfer: 7:52

I mean, just going to the ski store here and meeting Tessa and Jerry.

Jason Shelfer: 7:57

Right.

Jana Shelfer: 7:57

And I don't know why, but next thing you know, they're telling us that they're show skiers, and in fact, they're going to America next year. They're gonna be in Florida. They're gonna be in Florida, they're gonna be literally 20 minutes from where we live.

Jason Shelfer: 8:10

Right.

Jana Shelfer: 8:10

And then just having that conversation with them, I was like, oh my gosh, if we wouldn't have struck up any sort of conversation, I would have never realized that. If they hadn't said, how's it going today?

Jason Shelfer: 8:24

How's it going, mate?

Jana Shelfer: 8:25

Yes. What you need? What you any for? You know what I'm saying? Like they just have a different way of doing it.

Jason Shelfer: 8:32

Because it was different, because if it was just someone saying, Can I help you? Which is what we're used to hearing, we would have said no, we're just looking. Yeah, we're not looking at it. Because that's what we're used to saying.

Jana Shelfer: 8:41

We would have politely said, No, thank you.

Jason Shelfer: 8:43

We're just looking.

Jana Shelfer: 8:44

We're just looking.

Jason Shelfer: 8:46

That's because that is the automatic response most Americans give to someone in a store that says, Can I help you?

Jana Shelfer: 8:52

You know, every now and then we just need a big kick in the butt. And I feel like right now I need a big kick in the butt because life is really all about relationships. It's about connecting with people, it's about sharing.

Jason Shelfer: 9:07

You nailed it. It's relationships in general, whether it's a relationship with your finances, relationship with your spouse, your family, friends, new people that come into your life, relation. Relational is what we're meant to be as beings.

Jana Shelfer: 9:22

And I have the perfect opportunity right now to build some new relationships, and I've been a little laxadaisical.

Jason Shelfer: 9:30

So, one thing I would say is have you been more relational with yourself? Because I would give you credit in that area.

Jana Shelfer: 9:39

Okay, thank you. Thank you. I need I need credit somewhere.

Jason Shelfer: 9:42

Give yourself a little check mark there because you have been credit credited there in being relational with yourself. And now, how do we just create a larger bubble to let people in?

Jana Shelfer: 9:52

All right, well, step number one is to upgrade your greetings.

Jason Shelfer: 9:57

So big.

Jana Shelfer: 9:58

Upgrade. Get out of the script that we all have my memorized in our unconscious mind, and we literally are just going through the motions.

Jason Shelfer: 10:08

Just change it up a little bit, and you'll be surprised at what happens.

Jana Shelfer: 10:11

What's your dream, mate?

Jason Shelfer: 10:12

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 10:12

I'm gonna start saying that.

Jason Shelfer: 10:14

What what exciting, what what do you have exciting going on today?

Jana Shelfer: 10:17

Oh, that changes the energy. Yeah, that changes the the spark in the eye. Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer: 10:23

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer: 10:24

Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.