When Nothing Changes But Time

The Five-Year Question: Break the Loop and Achieve Meaningful Growth with TFA 

Will your next five years be meaningful growth or just time passed? This self-help episode is the practical playbook for escaping the doom loop and creating an upward success cycle in life and finance.

Master the essential formula for change: Thoughts > Feelings > Actions (TFA). Keeping them the same guarantees stagnation. Learn to shift just one lever to build momentum—you must do it scared!

Hear our candid story of a five-year money conflict breakthrough (it took new actions). Discover why coaches are critical for surfacing blind spots and limiting beliefs. Friction is not failure; it's the signal your ceiling is about to become your new floor.

Takeaways:

• The Five-Year Challenge: The ultimate wake-up call: Don't wake up stagnant and full of regret. Choose meaningful growth today.
• The TFA Framework: Same TFA = Same Results. Change at least one lever (Thoughts, Feelings, or Actions) for change.
• Action Before Readiness: Do it scared, do it now! Action creates clarity. Stepping before you feel ready builds the necessary proof.
• Blind Spot Reality: You will never see your own blind spots. Outside voices (coaches) are essential for reframing limiting beliefs and interrupting stale patterns.
• Growth is Tiered: When you hit a ceiling, retool your TFA. That ceiling becomes your new floor.
• The Choice to Grow: Progress over comfort. Hard conversations unlock the leap—choose the challenge.

Ready to trade stagnation for an upward success cycle? Hit play.

• How to achieve meaningful growth in the next five years.
• The Thoughts Feelings Actions (TFA) model for change.
• Why outside perspective is necessary for personal growth (blind spots).
• How to stop repeating the same conflicts with your spouse.
• Do it scared motto for procrastination.
• What to do when your efforts only result in the passage of time.
• How to turn a ceiling into a new floor.
• "What is the Thoughts x Feelings x Actions (TFA) model for change?"
• "Why is it hard to see your own blind spots in personal growth?"
• "How does growth move in tiers, and what

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Chapters

• 0:00 From Negativity To Progress
• 0:22 The Five-Year Wake-Up Question
• 1:29 Do It Before You Feel Ready
• 2:29 Hidden Beliefs And Blind Spots
• 3:30 When Partners Repeat Old Patterns
• 5:22 Same Thoughts, Same Results
• 6:15 Change Thoughts, Feelings, Actions
• 8:00 New Ceilings, New Norms
• 12:45 Mirror Check Five Years Ahead
• 14:34 Closing And Live Lucky CTA

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana Shelfer. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:19

You are too. Read the quote, Jason. Read the quote. So five years from now, will your efforts have resulted in meaningful growth or merely the passage of time?

Jana Shelfer: 0:31

Oh, for some reason that hit home for me today.

Jason Shelfer: 0:35

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 0:36

Because it really puts a light on do we want to get into our uncomfortable zone?

Jason Shelfer: 0:44

Yeah. And it's one of those things where the the thing that we're avoiding doing, will it still be there tomorrow?

Jana Shelfer: 0:51

Or five years from now. Just like you said. I don't want to wake up and say, I'm 55 years old and I'm still waiting for this. I'm still waiting for my financial growth.

Jason Shelfer: 1:03

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 1:03

I don't want to wake up five years from now and say, I'm 55 years old and I am still waiting for my promotion. Or trying to mend those relationships with family. Or right?

Jason Shelfer: 1:17

Yeah, I'm still waiting to to forgive someone. I'm waiting for that apology. I'm waiting for whatever.

Jana Shelfer: 1:23

I'm still waiting for that internal motivation or inspiration.

Jason Shelfer: 1:27

Oh, so big.

Jana Shelfer: 1:29

When we just need to almost, I don't want to say fake it until we make it, but for there is a little step there in jumping in to the feeling you want to have.

Jason Shelfer: 1:41

Well, you hear you hear so many people talk about do it scared, do it now, like do it when you're not ready. Like do it, do it broke. Do it like it's just the the act of doing will lead to the act of having having and knowing receiving and understanding a deeper creating. Like it's gonna get you closer to whatever it is that you're you're craving or you're desiring, or recognizing that that's not exactly what you're looking for.

Jana Shelfer: 2:09

And that's a hard truth. Because sometimes we say, Yeah, I want to do this, and and there is a little validation in saying, well, the universe just didn't provide it for me, right? Yeah, instead of saying, Did I do my part? Did I show up? Did I play full out? And if the universe isn't providing for you, is there something subconsciously or unconsciously that is saying, I don't know if I really want to do that, because then it would change and people would see me differently. And do you know what I'm saying? Like there are those underlying limiting beliefs that are unseen and sometimes not even known to ourselves.

Jason Shelfer: 2:53

That's so big. And that's that's something that's like, how badly do I want it? And am I willing to talk to someone about it so I can start uncovering what those are inside me?

Jana Shelfer: 3:06

No, I we just had this yesterday, last night, I I had like an hour where I my wheels were spinning. When I say my wheels are spinning, even though I'm in a wheelchair, it was in my head.

Jason Shelfer: 3:22

Yeah, it's not a literal wheels spinning.

Jana Shelfer: 3:24

When I say my wheels are spinning, that means I just have thoughts that are going all in my head. And I literally said, I really feel like I need someone to talk to about, and I'm just gonna be transparent about my finances. Yeah. I felt like I needed someone to talk to about my finances, and Jason was sitting there, like literally, he gave me this look like, I'm here. Uh you can talk to me. However, I felt like I needed I needed someone on the outside to tell me where my blind spots are. Right. And to tell me why I keep creating the same patterns over and over. Like, where is the breakthrough that I am not seeing myself? Because we've said it before, it's hard to read the label on the bottle when you're inside the bottle.

Jason Shelfer: 4:18

Yes. And it's also hard to um hear things in under your own roof. And if you're a parent out there, if you're a spouse out there, what you'll recognize is especially if you're a spouse. So I'll talk from the place where we we know. Yeah, like your spouse can tell you something over and over and over again, and then as soon as you hear it from someone else at a party, yes, you're like, oh my gosh, that makes perfect sense. And your spouse is sitting over there dumbfounded, going, I've been telling you this for the past 10 years.

Jana Shelfer: 4:48

And you know, I I will give you that, but I also will say, not a but, but an and when we have the same conversation that we've had for the last five years, I get the same answers from Jason, which literally says, believe in yourself, right? Have faith, you've got everything you need. And I I am saying, I'm hitting a roadblock. I need someone to tell me where my blind spot is.

Jason Shelfer: 5:19

And the other part of that is is you're getting it the same way. So that's it's like I I give it to you in the language that I know, and I and so and sometimes it comes back in, Jana.

Jana Shelfer: 5:33

There you go again.

Jason Shelfer: 5:34

Right.

Jana Shelfer: 5:35

Like you're you're bringing us down. And so then I I like push it under the rug and go, okay, pop into you know where I want to go.

Jason Shelfer: 5:44

Right. And this was nothing about you. So I so you heard it as me saying, you're hearing it from me over and over again. I'm talking about things that you've told me.

Jana Shelfer: 5:54

I yeah, it goes both ways. It goes both ways. And we can, I think it's funny that we can bring this to light.

Jason Shelfer: 6:03

Well, we laugh about it now because we've dissected our our communication skills.

Jana Shelfer: 6:09

I will say though, I mean, seriously, since Jason and I started our business, we do sometimes have the same conversations over and over and over, and we react the same and we've gotten to where, okay, well, I know that this is gonna upset, you know, this might be poking the bear of Jason. So then I just don't talk about it. Yeah, or I just push it down. However, when you read that quote, where do you want to be in five years? I don't want to be having this same conversation. So there is something where both of us need to lean into it and realize, okay, what are we not seeing?

Jason Shelfer: 6:52

And and what it do you remember what I said last night? Is we will never see our own blind spots.

Jana Shelfer: 6:58

You did say that.

Jason Shelfer: 6:58

And that's why we have our own coaches, and that's why we we do recognize when we say, how can we think about this differently? And then we forget, um when we reach the end of our how we see things differently, we go look for who can we go to that will help us see that differently. Yes, and that's that's one thing that we we didn't understand before.

Jana Shelfer: 7:24

That is true.

Jason Shelfer: 7:25

Like I remember when we got our first coach, you know, and it blew my socks off. It blew mine too. Because I was like, how much are we paying this guy?

Jana Shelfer: 7:34

But also have we really been living in like our own little bubble? But that's what happens. We live in our own little bubble.

Jason Shelfer: 7:41

What I didn't recognize was that I had been doing literally getting up, taking the same route to work, talking to the same people, feeling the same feelings.

Jana Shelfer: 7:54

We have the same thoughts, the same feelings, which is the recipe for the same result.

Jason Shelfer: 8:00

Oh my god, say that again.

Jana Shelfer: 8:02

Same thoughts, same feelings, which we start taking the same actions, and that is the recipe for the same result. And so if you go back to the quote that Jason read, read it again.

Jason Shelfer: 8:14

Five years from now, will your efforts have resulted in meaningful growth or merely the passage of time?

Jana Shelfer: 8:22

So we either need to change up the thoughts, change up the feelings, or change up the actions. And either one of those will equal a different result. Yes. The the thing that we're stressing today is having the recognition and the aware awareness or wherewithal to know that I need to do this now, otherwise, five years from now, I'm just gonna be five years older. And the regret starts fitting in.

Jason Shelfer: 8:53

Do you know what I'm saying? 100%. And I will tell you that during that time where everything was the same, I would go to bed at night and say, tomorrow is gonna be different. That's the word track that was in my head. I would say, I would there would be words like, okay, today sucked. Tomorrow will be different, next week will be different. And it and but nothing changed. That's that's the horrible part of it. That that was the like looking back on it, that was part of it. But I was I was making it, I was making ends meet. I was I was actually doing very well financially. I wasn't doing very well emotionally, spiritually, like, like things were okay, so just the same every day.

Jana Shelfer: 9:40

All right, so let's go back to the example from yesterday. Jason and I have literally had the same conversation, and it ends in the same conflict. And throughout the last five years, and it has to do with finances, so I'll just put that out there and be transparent. It has to do with finances. And literally, I have taken two years to realize I need to change my thoughts about this, and we still have the same sneaky thoughts coming back. We still no, I believe I changed my thoughts. We still had the same challenge. So then for the next two years, I started changing my feelings about it. I started changing my feelings. You know what? He's right. I just need to have faith and step in this. Yesterday it dawned on me. I need to change my actions. I need to change my actions. And when you get all of those in line, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, that's when you start getting the results that you want to have. Am I right?

Jason Shelfer: 10:45

Yes, and today we have different results.

Jana Shelfer: 10:48

And this morning, what was so crazy is this morning we started taking steps toward different results.

Jason Shelfer: 10:56

Yes, massive results.

Jana Shelfer: 10:58

Is it comfortable? Hell no. But it will become scary? Hell yes.

Jason Shelfer: 11:04

But it will become the new norm. And then what's gonna happen is we're gonna hit this new ceiling, and we'll have to have this new change in feelings, change in um thoughts, change in actions. And we just have to remember this. Come back to this podcast.

Jana Shelfer: 11:21

This podcast. Because it's literally taken us five years. We've had the same conflict. I don't even want to call it a conflict, the same challenge between the two of us. And it literally we have this, it always falls into the same patterns. And until both of us start thinking differently, start feeling differently, and start acting differently, that is the recipe for change.

Jason Shelfer: 11:50

Yeah, and I and that's where I think this when when people say that saying, Mo money, mo problems, yes, it's not more money, more problems. It's literally that there we all keep running into this tiered system of we hit this new ceiling, and then we s we need to change our thoughts, our feelings, and our actions.

Jana Shelfer: 12:09

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 12:10

And we just don't recognize, okay, where where am I hitting that new ceiling so I can make that new ceiling my new floor? Yes. And I just have to break through that. And it's it's everybody has that little tiered system, and sometimes we just refuse to have these open conversations between couples or between friends or in whatever it is.

Jana Shelfer: 12:30

Why do we refuse to have these conversations? Because we either know it's gonna hurt our own feelings or it's gonna hurt our spouse's feelings. Am I right?

Jason Shelfer: 12:38

That's so right.

Jana Shelfer: 12:39

Because I know that there's there's a soft spot, it's almost like picking the scab of a wound, and and you realize that that wound maybe has been there for decades.

Jason Shelfer: 12:53

And that again goes back to where do you want to be in five years? Do you want to be the same or do you want to grow? Do you want to grow together or do you do you just want to be the same?

Jana Shelfer: 13:04

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 13:04

And it can be okay to be the same, but you need to actually start thinking about that. Is it, am I okay being stagnant?

Jana Shelfer: 13:14

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 13:15

Because because stagnant five years from now, depending on where you are in life, is very different than being stagnant 20 years from now when there's there's uh a world is moving so quickly nowadays. Because you don't know what that might look like.

Jana Shelfer: 13:31

Oh, okay. So let's just tie this up. Jason, can you read the quote one more time? Because this has totally been life-changing for me today. Go.

Jason Shelfer: 13:39

Five years from now, will your efforts have resulted in meaningful growth or merely the passage of time?

Jana Shelfer: 13:46

Oh everyone that's listening right now, let's all just pretend we're looking in a mirror five years from now. You got a few more lines, you got a few more laugh wrinkles, you your hair is a little bit of a different color. You might have a pound more or a pound less. Well, if you're stagnant, you're probably do you want to see in that mirror? And I know for me, I just want to experience life. I want to grow and I want to look in that mirror five years from now. And I want to say, Jana, I am so proud of how far you've come.

Jason Shelfer: 14:26

Look how far we've come. Let's not stop here.

Jana Shelfer: 14:28

I love it. Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®. Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at livinglucky.com.