StressLaxing: When Rest Feels Wrong

Stop StressLaxing: Use Turtle Steps to Master Procrastination 🐢 (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Is your brain panicking during downtime? That's StressLaxing—the guilt-fueled mashup of rest and anxiety keeping you in a doom loop.

This self-help episode gives you the mindset shifts to turn conflict into steady progress (using avoiding taxes as the perfect example!).

• Reframe Language: Call tasks a "challenge" (or privilege), not a "problem."
• Turtle Steps: Use micro moves (scanning 5 receipts) to build self-trust and momentum.
• Digital Workflow: Design a bite-sized workflow that eliminates the procrastination fantasy of the "vacation fix."

By the end, stress is a compass guiding you to action, so you can truly relax without the mental buzz.

Nuggets:

• Name the Conflict: StressLaxing is the exhausting tug of war caused by ambiguity and unmade decisions.
• The Hidden "One Thing": One nagging task (like taxes) becomes a limiting belief representing everything you avoid.
• Turtle Step Strategy: Antidote to stress is micro action. A turtle step is risk-free. The brain loves completion; tiny finishes build self-trust and make the next step easier.
• Ditch the Avoidance Fantasy: The "change of scenery" fix (doing taxes on vacation) is just more procrastination. Design a plan for your present reality.
• Stress as a Compass: Stress is a gift; it's a compass pointing toward the next honest step. Stress only gets bigger when ignored.
• Reward Progress: Pair small tasks with small rewards. This teaches your system that action leads to comfort.
• Upward Cycle Design: Build a simple two-line plan. This flips the loop for real progress and the ability to relax on purpose.

Hit play, take a turtle step, and reclaim your time!

• How to overcome stresslaxing and guilt. What are turtle steps for procrastination? How to reframe problems into challenges in personal development. How to stop feeling guilty when relaxing. Using micro actions to build momentum without burnout. Stress is a compass not a threat. "What is stresslaxing and how do I fix it?" "How does reframing language (problem vs. ch

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*Previously Recorded

Chapters

• 0:00 From Doom Loop To Living Lucky
• 0:20 Defining Stress Laxing
• 1:30 The Inner Tug Of War
• 2:45 The One Thing We Avoid
• 4:10 Taxes As A Limiting Belief
• 6:00 Reframing And Planning The Route
• 7:10 The Australia Detour Myth
• 8:20 Digital Fix And Bite-Sized Wins
• 9:20 Turtle Steps As A Compass
• 10:30 Rewards, Momentum, And Closing

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer: 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:18

You are too.

Jana Shelfer: 0:20

Today we're talking about stress laxing. Oh, so fun. It almost sounds like something that makes you go to the bathroom.

Jason Shelfer: 0:28

I need to get in a stress laxer. Stress laxer.

Jana Shelfer: 0:33

The term itself, it just gives me agida.

Jason Shelfer: 0:37

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 0:37

Doesn't it?

Jason Shelfer: 0:38

Well, it's I and I can kind of feel, I can relate to it. Because a lot of times we'll lay down and feel that kind of blanket of stress go get over us, knowing that there's something like the to-do list isn't done.

Jana Shelfer: 0:51

It's an internal conflict. Yes. It is when you there's one part of your brain that says, you know what? I need to just lay down and relax. I need to take a little time for myself, maybe rest, recover, recuperate, re-energize. And then there's that other side of your brain that's that just creeps in and says, Yeah, but you got so much to do, pal. You could be paying the bills, or you could be going out and exercising, or you could go grocery shopping, or you could clean the house, or you could take the dog for a walk, or you could organize your closet.

Jason Shelfer: 1:29

Remember those big goals you have? You're not getting there on the couch.

Jana Shelfer: 1:31

Right? You could be doing some work to actually make you some money.

Jason Shelfer: 1:35

Right.

Jana Shelfer: 1:36

There's all those little voices that creep in.

Jason Shelfer: 1:41

Yeah. It's a good thing.

Jana Shelfer: 1:42

And so then therefore, your time relaxing, recuperating, re-energizing, really turn into stress laxing. Turns into this big stress loop.

Jason Shelfer: 1:55

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 1:55

It's a big cloud of heaviness.

Jason Shelfer: 1:58

And I think for me, um, this word struck me because sometimes there's like this one thing. Like I will get super busy doing the smaller things or do it, like taking the smaller bites of things, but I won't do that one thing.

Jana Shelfer: 2:14

Like I will put off I feel like you're talking about me. I do that too. I get stuck in the details, and Jason's like, hey, wait a minute. Weren't we?

Jason Shelfer: 2:22

Well, I think there's those those pieces of life where you will do the big thing, but then like the one thing you'll put off is like for me, it's taxes. You okay every year, every freaking year for me, it's it's doing the end of the year taxes. I could do it month by month, you know. We talk about every year. Every year we talk about doing it month by month. And it's like at the end of the month, I'm like, I don't feel like doing, I don't want to do the record keeping, I don't want to put all this together. Like I keep it in a box, I keep it in a folder. I just don't want to organize it. Okay, so as a coach because the next month has already started.

Jana Shelfer: 2:59

As a coach, I might ask you some tough questions.

Jason Shelfer: 3:02

I know, I know.

Jana Shelfer: 3:04

What is what is the underlying thought there? What is what does taxes represent for you?

Jason Shelfer: 3:12

Really, it's it's just the the thing is everything just keeps going. Like it there's it doesn't really represent anything for me. Uh-huh. It's just that we get into the next month and new paperwork's already coming in. So like we're in the we get into the seventh and eighth, and I'm already getting paperwork for last month.

Jana Shelfer: 3:38

So it feels like you're always behind.

Jason Shelfer: 3:40

Yeah. So I'm then I have to go back and redo what I've already done. So I have to catch, I have to stick that back into the pile of that I've already completed. So I'm like, why do it now? And then it gets to the eighth or ninth, and I'm like, now I need to do it, but we're already eight months in, so let's just put it off.

Jana Shelfer: 3:57

So what I'm hearing is I'll always give myself an excuse. What I'm hearing you say is no matter what I do, it's never good enough.

Jason Shelfer: 4:05

And and I'll never be caught up with it because I'm not gonna have all the paperwork until the end of the year. So let's just wait until I know, like May of next year, when I have all the paperwork.

Jana Shelfer: 4:15

Okay, so as a coach, I'm gonna have to.

Jason Shelfer: 4:17

Then it's overwhelming. Then I've got a mountain. Is this true? No, it's I know it's not true. It's a ridiculousness that I'm giving myself, which creates this mountain of stress that I have to deal with at the end of the year.

Jana Shelfer: 4:30

So what is it making you feel?

Jason Shelfer: 4:33

Is it making you feel anxious and stressed and makes you feel like you can never catch up? Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 4:38

Makes you feel like you're not good enough.

Jason Shelfer: 4:41

Um, I don't know that it's not good enough. It just makes me feel like um taxes are a problem.

Jana Shelfer: 4:47

Okay, that right there is I know we need to reframe that.

Jason Shelfer: 4:51

It's a horrible limiting belief because taxes are.

Jana Shelfer: 4:54

And when you say taxes are a problem, taxes are a blessing. Guess what you're gonna create in your life.

Jason Shelfer: 4:58

More taxes and more problems. You just start bringing up more of that on and more problems.

Jana Shelfer: 5:04

So maybe let's change that word to a challenge.

Jason Shelfer: 5:08

Yeah. Taxes are just something I get to experience and um that I'm fortunate enough to be able to pay because of what I'm saying.

Jana Shelfer: 5:16

Or to live in this wonderful society.

Jason Shelfer: 5:19

I know, it's incredible. But it's it's one of those things where I just keep putting it off. Like it, that's my big thing. That's the thing that, especially this time of the year, when I'm when I know that I need a break, yeah, that's that nagging thing in the back of my mind for stress laxing.

Jana Shelfer: 5:35

So maybe stress laxing is really just a band-aid for procrastination.

Jason Shelfer: 5:42

It probably is. And I and I know that if I just and we talked about it a little bit um earlier, not on this podcast, but earlier in our lives. Yes. That um if I just set that plan in place.

Jana Shelfer: 5:54

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 5:55

Like we know that we can climb any mountain if we if we just get the tools together and if we just make this make plan the route.

Jana Shelfer: 6:03

Uh-huh.

Jason Shelfer: 6:03

You know, and we talked about, okay, well, what would it look like if I planned a purposeful journey through this tax expedition?

Jana Shelfer: 6:13

Oh this podcast has taken a turn.

Jason Shelfer: 6:17

Because I said, I we're going to Australia. I want to have some free, I will have some free time in Australia. And you're like, no, that doesn't sound like a great idea.

Jana Shelfer: 6:26

I'm telling you right now, when we're on vacation, because what I was saying, our dream vacation, our dream competition, I guarantee you that taxes is not going to be on the forefront of minds.

Jason Shelfer: 6:37

And you're 100% right. Because what I was doing was I was trying to push it off again.

Jana Shelfer: 6:42

Right.

Jason Shelfer: 6:43

Because what I and like going to Australia to do taxes is the most ridiculous freaking thing probably anyone's ever heard. You know, like that's expensive tax time.

Jana Shelfer: 6:57

Let's just push it down under.

Jason Shelfer: 6:59

Let's just do the taxes down under where it costs the most. Like let's go spend tens of thousands of dollars to go do our taxes in Australia.

Jana Shelfer: 7:08

To another country.

Jason Shelfer: 7:09

But hey, maybe the taxes are a write-off then, right? Maybe the whole truck's a write-off because I did my taxes down there. I don't know. I'm not an I'm not a tax whiz like that. But I know for a fact I would have gotten to Australia and I would have been like, let's go do this, let's go do that. I'm not, whatever it is, I'm not doing taxes down there. So then we get back in January and I'm like, nothing's done. I get to wait until April again.

Jana Shelfer: 7:32

Jason's receipts have a koala print on them. That's right.

Jason Shelfer: 7:38

And I'm now further behind. Right. So we've got seven days before we leave. And it was literally just why don't we just start looking at how we can digitally do them?

Jana Shelfer: 7:49

Yes. And just and then that way when we are on vacation where it is okay to relax, yes, we don't have this heavy cloud over us of saying, oh, I gotta get home and I gotta do the taxes.

Jason Shelfer: 8:04

Yeah. And that it's I and I can take these little bite-sized nuggets for the next couple of days. And what if I could get um two or three months a day over the next couple of days?

Jana Shelfer: 8:16

I'm I'm gonna just throw a little tool out there for everybody. When we start feeling stress of any sort, it really will pop the bubble if we just take a baby step, or what my coach called a turtle step. Take a little turtle step of action towards it and come up with a plan.

Jason Shelfer: 8:41

Yeah, and then we can say, what am I avoiding?

Jana Shelfer: 8:43

You can you can ask yourself that question, but the the way to the antidote to uh stress is by uh taking little baby micro steps, action towards your goal.

Jason Shelfer: 8:58

And that's not a huge thing.

Jana Shelfer: 9:00

Because I'm telling you, stress is actually it is a gift, it is your soul telling you, you know what, in order to be your best self, move towards this, move toward this, do this. It's actually a compass. It is a compass, it's a guide, it is helping to direct us toward our north star.

Jason Shelfer: 9:21

Yeah, and I think one of the big things is stress only gets bigger. So if why the more you put it off, yeah, why not?

Jana Shelfer: 9:28

The more you're telling your brain, oh, I give you permission to just push this off. And then when you do face it, it feels yeah.

Jason Shelfer: 9:37

So the those turtle steps are kind of like taking little marshmallow bite-sized pieces out of this big thing. And it's that makes it better.

Jana Shelfer: 9:47

Yeah, you know, it's like taking turtle steps, it does allow you to have time for yourself where your your brain isn't constantly knocking on your other brain, saying we shouldn't be relaxing right now because we got we got shit to do.

Jason Shelfer: 10:05

And it gives you that sense of I'm worth it, I can do it. Like just take that turtle step because it's the path.

Jana Shelfer: 10:12

And I also feel that when we when we do take those steps, then we feel like, okay, now I get a little reward because I did go that. Do you know what I'm saying? There's that little psychological twist to it all as well.

Jason Shelfer: 10:27

There's there's a lot of candy in that. Not not uh literal candy, but a lot of lot of little nuggets, little juice in there, a lot of little marshmallows, like little marshmallow pieces. I'm not hungry.

Jana Shelfer: 10:42

Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®, but if the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at LivingLucky.com.