Mile Markers

Mile Markers, Not Deadlines: The Art of Purposeful Urgency (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Are you stuck in the messy middle between intention and action? 🤔 Do deadlines feel like a prison? This game-changing episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast transforms how you view constraints by replacing "deadlines" with "mile markers".

We reveal how purposeful urgency—specifically, hosting a wheelchair-accessible ski camp—became the ultimate catalyst for a house-wide reset, proving that structure, when rooted in empathy, is the fastest path to momentum and clarity. This is the self-help masterclass on leveraging external motivation to fuel internal drive and finally beat procrastination.

Action Unlocked: Key Takeaways:

• Language Shift: Swap "deadlines" for "timestamps" or "mile markers." Honor the moment, don't fear punishment.
• Empathy in Action: Forced constraints become a love language through logistics. Real stakes generate real momentum.
• "Shitty Draft" Principle: Set a mile marker for a messy version. The goal is crossing, not perfecting. Quality grows from movement.
• Action > Inaction: No first step is wrong. Action creates clarity; momentum creates motivation. Start moving!
• Shared Success: Fixed commitments (like a camp date) force alignment, crushing shared indecision and limiting beliefs.
• Fuel the Fire: An external commitment ignites the internal spark. Stop bargaining; start building.

Your future self will thank you for taking the next clear step today. Set an honest mile marker, define "done enough," and give yourself the grace to start imperfectly. 

How to overcome procrastination with mile markers. Reframing deadlines as mile markers. Using purposeful urgency for personal goals. Beating perfectionism with a "shitty first draft." The relationship between action and clarity. How to set effective time-bound goals. Using external motivation to fuel internal drive. How constraints and structure improve creativity.  How to turn procrastination into progress using mile markers. What is the difference between a deadline and a mile marker? How can I use forced constraints to my advantage? What is the 'shitty first draft' principle for perfectionism? Does action create clarity or does clarity create action? How do external motivators impact internal drive? What is the quickest way to get creative momentum? 

Transcript

From Doom Loop to Upward Cycle

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer 0:15

I'm Jana. I'm Jason. And we are Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer 0:18

You are too.

Naming Forced Constraints

Jana Shelfer 0:20

We're talking about forced constraints today.

Jason Shelfer 0:24

I know that the terminology forced constraints. It makes me cringe.

Jana Shelfer 0:29

The artist in me is like, no.

Jason Shelfer 0:32

Why are you putting me in prison, Jason?

Jana Shelfer 0:34

Don't put boundaries around me. However, sometimes it does. Sometimes we need a deadline. Right. Sometimes we need a challenge that has a time stamp to it.

Hosting Camp as Catalyst

Jason Shelfer 0:50

Right. And that's that's what this bring this whole ski camp that we've got going on and having all these people coming to our house, like having a party.

Jana Shelfer 1:00

Has been the best thing in the world for me.

Jason Shelfer 1:03

It puts a big magnifying glass on what a force constraint can do for your life, I think.

Jana Shelfer 1:10

Because I'll tell you what, there's been so many times, and again, I don't want this to become about Jana and Jason's relationship, but there's been so many times when I say, Can we just clean out the garage? Can we just clean out blah blah blah tech closet? And Jason looks at me like, if that's what you want to do, go do it. And yet I I do my best to tidy up things and put things in the right place. However, when you really do a cleanup and you're sharing space, it is a it's a two-person job. It is a two-person job because I don't dare want to throw out something that you want to.

Jason Shelfer 1:49

Where are my favorite pair of underwear?

Jana Shelfer 1:51

Yes.

Jason Shelfer 1:52

Because you did that before. Where's my lucky underwear?

Jana Shelfer 1:58

They had roosters all over them and they had holes in them.

Jason Shelfer 2:04

It was my church underwear for when I was feeling cocky.

Jana Shelfer 2:06

When you were feeling holy. Your church underwear is holy. Anyway, so today we're talking about forced constraints.

Deadlines, Timestamps, Finish Lines

Jana Shelfer 2:15

If you've been listening, you know that Jana and Jason have seven people coming in today from all over the southeast region.

Jason Shelfer 2:25

Coming to spend the night for four nights, and then we got other people coming for day camp.

Jana Shelfer 2:32

Yes. So we've got, so every room in our house has either an air mattress or a blow-up bed or I thought you were gonna say blow up doll.

Jason Shelfer 2:43

I don't know why. I mean that that's not in your vernacular. Oh my god.

Jana Shelfer 2:47

Oh, that that takes me to a whole different memory, but we're not going there. Stay tuned.

Jason Shelfer 2:53

Stay tuned.

Jana Shelfer 2:54

No, or we have a like a trundle bed. So we've got beds all over our house, and in making these beds so that people have a place to sleep, because they're all in wheelchairs. So we can't just say, go upstairs.

Jason Shelfer 3:06

Oh, good luck.

Jana Shelfer 3:07

Go upstairs. Yeah, we're gonna have can no elevator, there's no dormitory store style upstairs. Well, that doesn't work because everyone is in a wheelchair. So we've had to clean out our space, which if you've listened to the past podcast, you know that there's been a cathartic feeling in cleaning out stuff. However, I want to talk today about deadlines.

Jason Shelfer 3:35

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 3:36

And I know people and coaches, life coaches, are like, don't call them deadlines, but I don't think constraint is a good word either. Yeah, well maybe timestamp is what we should put on it.

Jason Shelfer 3:48

Yeah, well, it's a yeah, I think it's just putting that it needs to get done by this date. Like, like have somebody proofing your work, looking at something so that you know I need to have a proof of concept, I need to have a finish line. Maybe we just call it the finish line.

Jana Shelfer 4:05

The finish line.

Jason Shelfer 4:06

Like I need to be over this finish line by this date.

Jana Shelfer 4:09

Or mile marker.

Jason Shelfer 4:11

My what mile marker is good. I you know I love having an analogy of a road trip. That's that's one of my favorite things. I'll bring that up. I'll make an analogy out of a road trip. And you'll be like, that is so left field.

Jana Shelfer 4:24

So by day three of our road trip, we need to be at mile marker

Mile Markers and Road-Trip Mindset

Jana Shelfer 4:30

tech closet clean.

Jason Shelfer 4:35

Tech closet is sparkling and shiny and looks like a move a model ready house.

Jana Shelfer 4:40

I know. You know, sometimes I sometimes I feel pressure when I do this to myself, but every time, like if I say I want to get in the best shape of my life before March 25th, because that's our wedding anniversary.

Jason Shelfer 4:58

So this is in my mind, like I got goosebumps when you said mile marker. Yes. Because when I'm planning a road trip, yes, that to that brings out the Tom Saw your hook fan in me. Yes. And is like an adventure. It sounds more. Instead of making it like dreadful. Damn it, what like what am I now? All the funs are gone out, all the fun's getting sucked out of my day.

Jana Shelfer 5:24

I gotta help Janet clean out the garage.

Jason Shelfer 5:26

I gotta clean and I hate cleaning. I don't get to play, I don't get to go do the things I like to do.

Jana Shelfer 5:34

But now came out yesterday. You're like, I want to go do something for me.

Jason Shelfer 5:38

I know. I was like, I was getting well, I was letting the stress build and build and build, but now with mile markers involved and road trips, now I'm on an adventure. Now I'm like, where are we at? What mile marker are we at? Now I can be. So that's fun.

Jana Shelfer 5:54

I must say, whenever I have a there, it's really a smart goal, is what it

Starting Messy, Beating Perfectionism

Jana Shelfer 6:00

is. It's a goal that I want to reach by a certain time. A specific goal helps me tremendously, even if it's just getting out that shitty first draft of something. Do you know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer 6:13

Because otherwise, we're gonna procrastinate, we're gonna let the thought and the all the all the perfectionism get in the way. Or even just the fear of like, where where do I start? What's the first word to put on the paper, you know?

Jana Shelfer 6:26

Yeah, or where where do we start?

Jason Shelfer 6:28

And what's the first cord to throw away? What's what's the first corner to tackle in the garage?

Jana Shelfer 6:34

Yes. You're right. Sometimes it that it feels almost too big to even get started. But if you put a timestamp on it, all of a sudden it kind of it's an external motivator, which I'm not a big fan of external motivators, and yet I realize in my life, that's when I really start performing. It's when the external motivators and the internal motivators merge.

Jason Shelfer 7:01

And they did that little dance. I'm gonna go get myself a coach's whistle because I know you respond to that.

Jana Shelfer 7:06

Oh god. He's laughing because when I retired from wheelchair basketball, I was like, I never want to hear a whistle again.

Jason Shelfer 7:18

That just made me laugh. Just watching you almost vomit in your mouth.

Jana Shelfer 7:22

Okay, so you you mentioned the word dance, and I I'm gonna bring up dancing because I will say when we set a competition.

Jason Shelfer 7:32

Force restraints. It is constraints, yeah.

Jana Shelfer 7:35

Yeah, what we're gonna call them mile markers.

Jason Shelfer 7:38

Mile markers.

Jana Shelfer 7:38

When we set a mile marker, of we're gonna do a dance competition on this day in this city at this time, it does light a little fire under our butts. We're like, hey, let's it puts a little fuel in the tank.

Jason Shelfer 7:54

Oh yeah. And the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Oh, that is so good. So now we can just start that is so good. The other part of that is is it doesn't matter where the step goes.

Action Over Inaction & Listener Challenge

Jason Shelfer 8:10

So you can take any step and then you can cur make corrections. So it's just starting.

Jana Shelfer 8:16

Yeah, but you know, you're talking to a perfectionist here, and sometimes that's the hardest part is starting because I don't want to do it wrong.

Jason Shelfer 8:24

Right, but no step is wrong because it's like now you're just moving, you just started in that first mile.

Jana Shelfer 8:31

Motion.

Jason Shelfer 8:32

Yeah, you just gotta get in motion, and then you can always pivot and you just get to see more on your road trip adventure.

Jana Shelfer 8:42

Jason's over here.

Jason Shelfer 8:43

I'm getting excited, getting an arraction. I'm actually ready to clean today. Now we got everybody showing up today, but I'm I'm ready to clean. If we had started, if we'd done this podcast a week ago, I'd have been tidying the house before you even got up. I'd have been waking up first instead of you.

Jana Shelfer 8:59

All right. So I just want to put this in my own own terms. Sometimes when I have a competition or when I have a deadline, or whatever you want to call it, it really does help me get moving.

Jason Shelfer 9:14

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 9:14

And that's really the what we're talking about today.

Jason Shelfer 9:17

Yeah, and it doesn't have to be perfect, it's just about we're always gonna get more out of the action than out of inaction.

Jana Shelfer 9:25

So a challenge to anyone that's listening to this right now, if there's something that you've been putting on the back burner, and we all know deep in our souls, there's a little whisper saying, Oh, you know what? I've always wanted or I need to go get that x-ray, or I should go.

Jason Shelfer 9:46

What have I been avoiding? That will answer a massive question for you. It might be just a conversation with someone you're in a relationship with.

Jana Shelfer 9:54

So I challenge you, I challenge you to put a mile marker on it and say, hey, I need to get at least this far by this time. And it's amazing

Closing & Live Lucky CTA

Jana Shelfer 10:08

at what results you might get.

Jason Shelfer 10:10

So big.

Jana Shelfer 10:11

Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer 10:12

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer 10:13

Bye bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at livinglucky.com.