Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Stop Skipping the Foreplay!!!

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 56

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Stop Skipping the Foreplay: Embrace the Journey of the Process & Reclaim Life's Full Richness (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Are we losing the art of the journey in our "I want it now" world? Join Jason and Jana Banana for a candid, eye-opening discussion on our collective addiction to immediate gratification and the hidden costs of constantly fast-forwarding through life.

Inspired by Jason's habit of skipping character development in documentaries (to get straight to the triumph!), we explore how our shrinking attention spans and societal impatience are robbing us of meaningful experiences. Discover why true worthiness and appreciation for goals aren't found in shortcuts, but in the "latency periods," challenges, and slow unfolding of the process.

From the simple joy of preparing a meal together versus ordering takeout, to the profound insights gained from a pilgrimage like the Camino de Santiago, we unveil how embracing the "foreplay" of life enriches every destination. We challenge you to reconsider the allure of instant answers (even from AI!) and rediscover the depth and authenticity that comes from leaning into the journey. If you're ready to break free from the "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" mindset and infuse your life with patience, curiosity, and profound appreciation, this episode is for you. Tune in and start cherishing every moment on your path to Living Lucky®!

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • The "I Want It Now" Trap: Why Immediate Gratification Limits You.
  • Beyond the Highlight Reel: The Power of Life's "Foreplay."
  • Shrinking Attention Spans: Reclaiming Your Focus and Curiosity.
  • The Hidden Value of Process: Why the Journey Creates Worthiness.
  • Authenticity Over Efficiency: Embracing the Realness of Your Path.
  • Deepening Relationships: Moving Beyond Superficial Judgments.
  • Cultivating Patience: A Superpower in a Fast-Paced World.

Key Nuggets: Immediate gratification is a trap. The journey creates worth. Embrace "foreplay" in life. Slow down, appreciate more. Patience is power.

How to overcome the need for immediate gratification? Why is patience important for success? What happens when we skip character development in life? How to slow down and enjoy the process? How to find worthiness in challenges? What is immediate gratification? How does immediate gratification affect us? Why is the journey more importa

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer:

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too. Immediate gratification I want it now. Give it to me. We wantification. I want it now. Give it to me, we want it. We want it now. What do we want? I want it now.

Jana Shelfer:

I want it now Okay, so let me just fill you all in. I've been deathly sick for the last five days. I've been vomiting.

Jason Shelfer:

That's exactly what you wanted to hear this morning, right, I've been doing a decathlon carrying vomit buckets back and forth.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, and my loving husband has been so kind because he's like you've been in this room all by yourself, I'm just going to come and lay here with you.

Jason Shelfer:

I won't talk, I won't, you know make you do anything, I won't forget about you while you're back here.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, we can just be in the same room, and while we've been doing that, jason has been watching movies. Now, as I started to feel better, I started to listen to some of the movies that Jason was watching, while he would just keep me company, while I would be there and I noticed that he would fast forward through some of the dialogue and some of the Character building yes, yes, and I wanted to say whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Jason Shelfer:

So I've been watching this series on epic adventures yes, and epic kind of quest Because I feel like we're all going through some type of epic quest of life.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

Or we want that, so it feels like our life has meaning Right. There's this sense of adventure and I've got this adventurous side.

Jana Shelfer:

We both do. All of our souls have this desire to explore and desire to be there this desire to explore and desire to be there, and when he's talking about epic quests, we're talking about. We're watching this series on 100 wave surfing, climbing extreme mountains in weather like snow.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, to snowboard down them.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

I mean, it's some crazy things and kayaking through first run Rapid rivers, yeah, in the Amazon right. So it's there and in through all these things. There's this latency period, okay, and there's challenges. There's.

Jana Shelfer:

So you figured out the formula. There's a formula which is the formula of life.

Jason Shelfer:

It is and I know this, hollywood is smart, yeah and the reason they have this formula is because it relates to all of us. Because that's what we're going through and we all want to know what does the hero go through to become the hero of their own journey?

Jana Shelfer:

However, you were fast forwarding through some of the challenges and some of you're like, oh, we don't need to see this.

Jason Shelfer:

Because I understand, I am very fully enveloped in the journey and I recognize that in myself. So I know and I, so I know this. The podcast here is about this. I want it now.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

And I work. We both talk to so many clients who are like I don't want to go through the heartache, I don't want to go through the challenges and all the litany of things that are along the runway to success.

Jana Shelfer:

You don't even want to go through the anticipation though A lot of times you're right. And that is where the buildup to when we do hit our destination, then it feels so grand and we appreciate it even more.

Jason Shelfer:

It reminds me of my trip to do the Camino de Santiago, where I got off a phone call with a bunch of clients and I had mentioned I just mentioned doing the Camino de Santiago and you said you've mentioned that like 10 times over the past five years.

Jana Shelfer:

Put your money where your mouth is.

Jason Shelfer:

How long will it take you to plan this trip and be in Spain? And it freaked me out. It scared me a lot but excited me a lot as well. And I said well, I haven't practiced all these things. I can probably be in Spain in two weeks. And you said book it today.

Jana Shelfer:

Put it on the calendar.

Jason Shelfer:

Like start book, book it today. Put it on the calendar. Book your flights today.

Jana Shelfer:

Worry about the rest in the next two weeks Worry about how you're going to do it.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

Right yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

Put it on the calendar, make it real, act as if Invest the money, book the flights, book the first hotel stay that's non-refundable, so you have to be there and then you figure out the rest. Well, that's kind of the same thing. And then I went through so many, so many trials and tribulations. So you went through exactly what what all these other, these other people are going through, except for my own version.

Jana Shelfer:

You didn't want to see that.

Jason Shelfer:

Right, yeah, well, because what I was doing was I was spending time and I was also kind of fertilizing my own seed of adventure. So I didn't need to see what they're going like, this hard part and a lot of times we will spend our time on the couch or spend our time watching these movies and I just wanted to be with you. But I also wanted to see the emotions, the feeling, the overcoming at the end, instead of all the all the things in the middle end, instead of all the things in the middle. There's beauty in the things in the middle, I mean seriously.

Jana Shelfer:

These climbers were talking about how they met on a mountain at 21,000 feet and fell in love and I was like that is an interesting story, we need to hear that and it's an important story here. I was deathly ill, ill, and I hear Jason starting to fast forward.

Jason Shelfer:

Where did the sound go?

Jana Shelfer:

And I'm like well, what are you doing? Are?

Jason Shelfer:

you changing the channel? Why do I hear a different plot right now?

Jana Shelfer:

Now, mind you, I literally had my eyes closed and I was laying like I couldn't move and now, and that is really in the scheme of life, in the scheme of chasing dreams.

Jason Shelfer:

That is an important part of the plot, because building your team, who you surround yourself with, all these things are so important. Who's lifting you up? Is it someone that's lifting you up, or is it someone that keeps kind of whittling away at you? Right, yes, because we all have people in our lives that are either giving us energy or taking energy.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And if we can get that group around us, that we are all constantly giving each other energy. That's a different experience.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, well, let's stick to the topic today.

Jason Shelfer:

I want it and I want it now. Immediate gratification and what I wanted in this whole situation was I wanted this success and the outcome and to get into those feelings and you didn't want to get invested in the characters or no, I would love to meet some of the characters, but I would like to have a conversation with them instead of what's on their documentary. So it's really, it was and it was so cool and when you told me to go back and watch, because you were interested.

Jason Shelfer:

I was really glad I did, because it lends itself to why are they behaving a certain way in this situation?

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's one of the things that we both love to look for in these documentaries that we like to watch.

Jana Shelfer:

So I guess my whole point is that I feel like in life a lot of times we want success now, we want the end product now and we're as a society we are getting really bad at this. I mean, they're saying the attention span now is three seconds.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, it's crazy. One thing that just came up for me about the not like when I fast forwarded through how they met and how they developed their team is a lot of times in society we want to immediately judge or decide in our own mind who someone is, how they are and how they got what they got in life Right, Instead of being curious and really being curious about the person on a deeper level, not just that superficial top, very topical stuff. Oh, that's so interesting.

Jana Shelfer:

You know my dad when I was growing up. You know how you have a reading list in English class where you have to read certain. These three books over the summer Classic books, and he would not only make me read the book, but then he would make me, he would ask me about the author and he was like okay, well, what about this author Like what time period were they living in?

Jason Shelfer:

And what was their life?

Jana Shelfer:

like when he wrote this book. What was his perspective? And it's so funny that you say that, because I spent two years writing my book and then I decided not to do anything with it because I felt like I wasn't in a very good place. It was more of a fair, it was more therapy for me to write it and for me.

Jason Shelfer:

I read it and I was like that is great, which so, but it's very different because because I was very objective out here.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And you said this was just good for me to get out.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

And I'm at such a different place in my life it doesn't feel authentic to who I am right now. So that's a. When we start judging people by what we see, by just a very brief encounter, and not being curious about the depth of them. Yes, Then that's another shadow side of I want what I want now. I want to be able to have my opinion of this person now instead of spending the time.

Jana Shelfer:

Let's unpeel the layers.

Jason Shelfer:

And developing a relationship.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, because I'll tell you what you know the deeper your relationships, the more you realize there's more onion to peel here Right, I mean I feel like sometimes I still learn things about you.

Jason Shelfer:

And the beauty of it is is we're all great and we're all flawed.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I know so, and we beauty of it is is we're all great and we're all flawed, yeah, I know.

Jason Shelfer:

So we're all the same and in that initial, that first first impression, you might just be seeing the flaws and you might be seeing them because you've you've got them or you've had them, yeah, you spot it.

Jana Shelfer:

You got it Right.

Jason Shelfer:

You know, and so then we're like repelling, repelling them away pushing them away and say, oh no that I don't want that energy. But if we got deeper into that person and just got curious, we would realize there's greatness there because I believe there's greatness in all of us and we all have flaws. Like it's just and just love it all. Yeah, just love it all and give it time right. Be the hero journey in the relationship. Be the hero journey in the quest for greatness.

Jana Shelfer:

But I also find I mean back to immediate gratification. I find that I mean even just ordering uber eats dinner dinner. Seriously, we see that the the driver took a wrong turn and we're like what the heck?

Jana Shelfer:

dumbass why why? Can't you get here. I've come here a thousand times and never gotten lost yes right, I never do that.

Jana Shelfer:

Last night and it feels to me like, as a society, we are just I don't know. I almost feel like we all just need to sit and be still for a while.

Jason Shelfer:

Compare that to the first time we get the Blue Apron or the Hello fresh or or any of the boxes that we get, that we actually get to unpack almost like we grew it yeah you know, and then we get to dice it up, we get to follow this this detailed recipe.

Jana Shelfer:

We spend time together chopping we're dancing in the kitchen right, listening to some music, spending quality time together, great meal, and then when we put that time into making that meal, then all of a sudden we want to sit at the table.

Jason Shelfer:

Right. Instead of wanting to sit on the couch and we're like no, let's save some for tomorrow, like let's save some for another meal.

Jana Shelfer:

This was a wonderful experience.

Jason Shelfer:

Maybe we should pop open a bottle of wine to go with it. Yeah, some yeah 1800 bottle, but it's a cabaret let's do it, let's let janna do a little cabaret, but it's a it's a different experience yeah and then we get tired of the you talk about hypnotic rhythm that tired, like we let go of the newness, let go of the excitement of the journey yeah, because I feel like people don't want the journey they want the dinner they want the end result they want.

Jason Shelfer:

What does it take to get there with less time? Well, one thing like when? We started with ai, it even feels more so I'd rather not think about even how to come up with a topic.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, right, it's like, oh, this will just create it for me. Then, all of a sudden, we've created. Here's an example. Jason said right before we started oh, I'm going to have AI create me a class that I can teach. Yeah, on AI, a class that I can teach.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and here's the thing, con AI.

Jana Shelfer:

So the thing about that is it's an idea and, yeah, you probably could whip that out in three hours?

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, three hours.

Jana Shelfer:

In probably 15 minutes you can get the bones of it all put together, but then you could probably record it and have it on video and you know.

Jason Shelfer:

And people are doing that right now. And here's the thing, though, is because it's so easy now, it doesn't feel authentic to your soul and that's why it was kind of an idea fart and that's why we have to be careful of what's an idea fart. Which is another topic as well, and then, what is it that you truly want to do and what is your true journey? And stop trying to take these little shortcuts to it. Just enjoy that whole process.

Jana Shelfer:

The buildup, the buildup, the foreplay.

Jason Shelfer:

We're skipping the foreplay. You just called it foreplay and that gave me goosebumps and gave me a little bit of an erection.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh stop.

Jana Shelfer:

I mean, but it's kind of like we want a wham bam. Thank you Right.

Jason Shelfer:

Sir, it's kind of like we want to wham bam. Thank you, Right. And if we allow this foreplay to be the buildup, to make the success bigger or the goal bigger, then the conquering like not bigger in a sense of making it harder, but making it more important and more cherished.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

Then it creates the worthiness of the goal because we are worthy of the goal, but it creates more worthiness of the goal for us and says I cannot wait to crest that mountain, whatever the mountain is.

Jana Shelfer:

There's a lot to contemplate here and I just wanted to bring it up because it's been whirling around in my mind this morning.

Jason Shelfer:

And we just couldn't flush it.

Jana Shelfer:

And I thought maybe it might spark some curiosity from someone listening, that is, if they had the attention span to stay on.

Jana Shelfer:

If you're still listening.

Jason Shelfer:

Thanks for joining us Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye-bye.