Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

The Dirty Secret About Rest

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 53

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The Rest Revolution: Permission to Recharge Without Guilt (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Do you secretly feel like taking a break makes you lazy or unproductive? Join Jason and Jana Banana as they expose the "dirty secret" many high-achievers face: the guilt associated with rest and recovery.

We dive deep into why allowing ourselves downtime can feel almost wrong, like we're squandering potential. Discover the hidden drain of "social exhaustion" and the vital importance of recognizing when your social battery needs a recharge. Through relatable personal experiences and insightful metaphors (think road trips and race cars!), we unpack why pushing through until you're "deathbed ill" is a recipe for burnout, not success.

This episode offers a refreshing perspective: rest isn't the enemy of productivity; it's a crucial fuel stop on your journey to a fulfilling life. Learn practical, actionable strategies, like time-blocking for intentional rest, to create a sustainable rhythm that enhances your effectiveness and joy. Just like Jason's grandfather who embraced daily naps with gusto, you too can find joy in both your work and your well-deserved recovery. Unlock a more balanced, "Living Lucky®" life? Tune in now!

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • The Guilt Trap: Why Rest Feels "Dirty" to High-Achievers.
  • Beyond Physical Fatigue: Understanding "Social Exhaustion."
  • The Road Trip Reality: Rest as Essential Maintenance, Not a Detour.
  • Time-Blocking for Recovery: Scheduling Rest with Intention.
  • Finding Joy in Downtime: Recharging Your Mind and Body.
  • Permission Slips for Rest: Breaking Free from the "Always-On" Mindset.
  • Sustainable Success: Balancing Productivity with Essential Recovery.

 Rest isn't laziness. Socializing can be draining. Recovery fuels productivity. Schedule rest intentionally. Embrace guilt-free downtime.

Why do I feel guilty when I rest? How to overcome guilt about taking breaks. What is social exhaustion and how to manage it? How to balance work and rest for sustainable success. The importance of rest for high-achievers. How to schedule time for rest and relaxation. How to give yourself permission to rest without feeling lazy Why do I feel guilty for resting? How can I rest without feeling lazy? What are the signs of social exhaustion? How much rest do I really need? How to schedule rest into my

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky® you are too.

Jason Shelfer:

It's raining outside. It's raining men. Hallelujah.

Jana Shelfer:

Is it raining, men? We've been having this little game of going back and forth with different rain songs. That's probably like the sixth rain song that we've come up with.

Jason Shelfer:

So I'm impressed that you came up with a new one. That's right, something new.

Jana Shelfer:

If only we would have had the last five on recording. We did them during our morning coffee, which didn't get recorded for some reason facebook's blaming it on the rain that's right. So today we're talking about taking a little rest. Yeah, time for rest and relaxation, or rest and recovery, which I have, a really hard time, guilt-free rest and relaxation, or rest and recovery, which I have a really hard time with.

Jason Shelfer:

Guilt-free rest and recovery.

Jana Shelfer:

Because every time I try to take a day off if I'm not deathly ill I have a really hard time unplugging and just Giving yourself permission to relax. Yes, even if I put it on the calendar like this is Jana's zero task time. This is the time where Jana can literally just go into the art room and play, or she can just go to her piano and play. I feel this sense of oh, but I haven't.

Jason Shelfer:

I'm not there yet.

Jana Shelfer:

I haven't finished my. I'm taking a class. You know I'm taking this money class on options. I've been taking it for two years now about day trading, and so you know there's always something that's happening there, and so I always feel like I could be doing or learning something more. I have this drive inside me, our business. I always feel like, oh, there's so much more that I could be doing.

Jason Shelfer:

I just got goosebumps because if we take a step back and look at what's going on objectively, there is always something to do.

Jason Shelfer:

There's always something in the future that we're going for and I look at almost everything as if it was a road trip. And if you're on a road trip, you're like I really want to get there. I really want to have this completed, this leg of the trip completed. However, sometimes we have to stop and get gas. Sometimes we have to stop for bio break, get water, get rid of some water, you know, and oftentimes during a work week or during the work month or during the work quarter, we won't stop at all and get that like give ourselves time to just recharge.

Jana Shelfer:

And many times. I know this sounds crazy, but when we do have free time it feels like we are so mentally drained.

Jason Shelfer:

drained that we're not fully recharging, we're not maximizing that rest and recovery.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm not doing the things that recharge me, because I'm I hate to say it out loud, because I don't like to manifest these things, but I'm physically tired.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, you're feeling physically spent.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

And I think that's where, like I haven't done a great job of time blocking for sure, like I'm recognizing this as we have this discussion.

Jana Shelfer:

And here's the other thing. So Jason and I work together. Jason is even more of a work dog person or workhorse than I am.

Jason Shelfer:

You always have been, and so it's a get it done mentality and that comes from growing up and saying, hearing that forget your feelings and just get it done.

Jana Shelfer:

Whereas I'm more of a let's work smarter, yeah, and less.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, you're smarter.

Jana Shelfer:

I've always been that way. I'm like, let's work smarter.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and less. Well, you're smarter I've always been that way but you're not less.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm like let's work smarter and less time.

Jason Shelfer:

More efficiently.

Jana Shelfer:

And even when we were working for Corporate America, I went in at 1 o'clock in the afternoon and I got done at 7 o'clock. I went in at 6 in the morning and got done at 7 o'clock, yeah, so it was always like you were working double the time anyway. So now that we're working together, I sometimes feel guilty when I'm not working, because you're always putting in like extreme hours, and when I say extreme, we're like, from morning, you never stop, it's like. It's like there's always something that could be done on the business.

Jason Shelfer:

I could be making a connection with someone right now, right, yeah? And everything becomes part of the business when you're doing it here at home yeah, and part of that is probably setting up not only the boundaries of um accomplishment or boundaries of going after the goal, but boundaries within the house of what room? Do I work in Like what?

Jana Shelfer:

room is the work room.

Jason Shelfer:

And when do I take my breaks? Because I know when I was in corporate America there were two days a week where we actually prepared for sales calls, prepared for networking and meeting people and we would work hard for 50 minutes. Work hard and intentionally for 50 minutes. Take 10 minutes off. And you don't do that here at home I don't do that, and it's something I just need to bring back.

Jana Shelfer:

It shows because when we do take a break or when we do have lunch, and take an intentional lunch break, yeah we are drained, yeah, to the point where sometimes we can't even talk to each other, which is like uh, we're like zombies, we are we are like zombies.

Jana Shelfer:

I can feel that sometimes and and here's the other thing is that so, when we go out and about like we're, we're ourselves, we're on and we're we have great personalities, we're very charismatic people, we love to be chatty. However, it feels like we go to an event and we come home and we're so mentally and physically and it's like socially exhausted Wow.

Jason Shelfer:

Socially exhausted.

Jana Shelfer:

Did you just have an? Aha, I did.

Jason Shelfer:

I did because a lot of people recognize what soul exhaustion feels like, but I haven't really ever heard the term socially exhausted.

Jana Shelfer:

I felt that this weekend I felt socially exhausted and in such a great way. Don't get me wrong, but it's because you gave.

Jason Shelfer:

It was like you showed up.

Jana Shelfer:

you know, you showed up powerfully and we had like three events, three nights in a row where we had social events, and by the third day I, literally I was like I have to.

Jason Shelfer:

I just need some quiet time.

Jana Shelfer:

I have to go, I'm so sorry guys.

Jason Shelfer:

Jason's going to have to like be the goodbye anchor and I'm done now, yeah, when you're hosting it at your house, you can't do the Irish goodbyes.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, but I did, I kind of did you didn't.

Jason Shelfer:

I think you excuse yourself very well.

Jana Shelfer:

I was like I'm so, so sorry.

Jason Shelfer:

I need to go take care of my body take care of me, and that's, that's huge yeah, to have the courage and the awareness to say, hey, I've got to do some self-care right now.

Jana Shelfer:

I also feel, but see again, I feel guilty and I feel terrible. I say these things out loud and I catch myself because I should not feel terrible and guilty or shameful for needing to take care of me.

Jason Shelfer:

And I think that's where, when we talk about gratitude so this is one of those moments where this is what you taught me we feel guilty, we feel anxiety and all these things about something I did for myself. And that's where we get to say, okay, how can I be grateful for those things? How can I be grateful for how I showed up? Because there's great gratitude on both sides of it. There's gratitude for how you showed up, because there's great gratitude on both sides of it. There's gratitude for how you showed up powerfully and fully and how you gave yourself permission and gave yourself the gift of excusing yourself to take care of yourself, like there's power in that. A lot of people will just keep going and keep going and then, when you're going in that direction and you aren't taking care of yourself, you're going to show up as inauthentic and fake, because your body and your soul know that you need a break.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, so let me ask you this, and let me just throw this out there to anyone that's listening why do I sometimes feel that I need to write myself a permission slip to take a day off and why do I feel like I literally sometimes I, I feel like I need to be literally deathbed ill? Yeah in order to just lay on the couch. Otherwise, I have this sense of apathy or laziness that feels almost dirty to me.

Jason Shelfer:

That's a good word. Is it Because I felt that viscerally when you said I feel dirty about this?

Jana Shelfer:

It feels it feels dirty. It feels like I'm not using my God given potential or I'm not taking all the gifts that have been given to me and I'm not utilizing them.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah Well, so I like to go back and think of it as a road trip.

Jana Shelfer:

Or appreciating them. Okay, go ahead.

Jason Shelfer:

And if I had just the best, most expensive world-class limousine bus and I wanted to go to a destination and we'll call that destination my goals, you still have to, even though it's nice being in it and nice doing it and you feel like you're making progress. You still have to stop for gas, you still have to give yourself time to recharge, but loving the journey, yes, and that's like I thought of my grandfather, my papa.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And he took naps every day. I know and I don't like day.

Jana Shelfer:

I know and I don't like I I've started taking naps every day and there's this there's something in my head that now I feel old because I take naps every day, and so that's a limiting belief that is associated with taking naps every day and I I need to work through that.

Jason Shelfer:

I remember seeing my grandpa take my, my papa take a nap and it was like there was joy in going to the nap and then there was joy in getting up from the nap, like he, whenever he put his feet on the floor, he would go.

Jason Shelfer:

Boy, do I have enthusiasm right and it was like he looked like he was enjoying his work and enjoying his rest. Yes, and that is a different emotional feeling in life, when you're just enjoying the journey Because you give yourself the joy of the rest, the joy of the recovery, and then also give yourself the energy and the motivation to get back to work or get back to the trip, and that feeling creates a different showing up in in the beingness of it.

Jana Shelfer:

That is true. It's a whole different energy involved. Whereas when I am so exhausted, the thing is I want to take today off and, yes, I do want to lay on the couch and just rest recover I also want to. I mean, we had a guest here on saturday and she started playing my piano and there was something inside me that was like oh, I really want to play my piano. I haven't played my piano in a while and it's time for me to play my piano.

Jana Shelfer:

It brings me joy, and I haven't done that because every time I have time to just do nothing, I'm exhausted.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, so if we schedule the joy, schedule the rest, then we get to be in that more equalized state of production and recovery, production, recovery, and that just I think that feels better. Now it's easy to say it.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, it's so much easier to say it.

Jason Shelfer:

It's different when you feel it and it's recognizing those feelings and saying, okay, what is the feeling?

Jana Shelfer:

And I have to tell you, I don't even think we'd be having this conversation if it wasn't raining outside. It's almost like, because it was raining, it's like, oh, it's a snow day, you know, when you're up north and you're like, oh no, school it's snowing outside and for me it's like, oh no, school, it's snowing outside.

Jana Shelfer:

For me it's like oh it's raining, it is raining, raining, raining. It's gloomy, it's gloomy.

Jana Shelfer:

It's the perfect day to just stay inside Watch.

Jason Shelfer:

Turner Classic movies.

Jana Shelfer:

And watch movies. Put on Wizard of Oz Right.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

Which I love. I love watching Wizard of Oz or Dirty Dancing.

Jason Shelfer:

Oh, that's a good.

Jana Shelfer:

I love robin williams oh, but I, I the limiting belief for me is is feeling that guilt that rest is wrong.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, during during work hours, rest is wrong yes so.

Jana Shelfer:

I even feel like not even during work hours, I feel that rest should not be for some reason. I feel like I should be like the Energizer Bunny until nighttime.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, until it's time to sleep, and let's do it better than everyone else. It's kind of like, let me get the gold medal here also. Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

That's how I was raised.

Jason Shelfer:

That's how I was raised, and just keep going, keep going, keep going. When you lay down, you'll be so tired.

Jana Shelfer:

Full throttle, yeah, full throttle.

Jason Shelfer:

And I think this is where we need to give ourselves permission to take the pit stops, to take the rest and recovery and, like you said earlier, don't let it be a habit Like, don't let it be this extended like 10 year rest.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, because I have a tendency to do that too. Once I do give myself time to stop, I'm like oh, I'm just going to stay here for a while, and that may go back to the whole theory of objects in motion tend to stay in motion.

Jason Shelfer:

Objects at rest tend to stay at rest. But if we give ourselves the parameters and the start and stop points, then we can say, like you said, permission slip, I give myself the permission slip to rest in this time frame and then, when the buzzer hits, it's time to go again.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, well, will you make sure that you set that buzzer?

Jason Shelfer:

I will set the buzzer.

Jana Shelfer:

And then I'll hit snooze a few times. No snoozing.

Jason Shelfer:

I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I love it.

Jana Shelfer:

I hope this resonates with someone out there who may be struggling with this as well.

Jason Shelfer:

Somebody's feeling it, yeah, and what we want you to feel like is that you're Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Have a great day. Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer:

We'll see you soon.

Jana Shelfer:

If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.