Choosing Joy: It's a Thing

Choose Joy: The Surprisingly Hardest (and Most Rewarding) Choice You'll Ever Make (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Celebrating our 19th wedding anniversary, we're diving into a powerful truth: choosing joy isn't always easy, but it's the key to unlocking a truly vibrant life. Why do we sometimes cling to negativity, even when happiness is within reach?

We explore the fascinating concept of emotional intelligence as a superpower. It starts with recognizing your feelings and understanding why you're feeling them. Learn how naming your emotions can tame them.

Are you stuck in the "law of habituation," going through the motions day after day without questioning if this autopilot life is truly fulfilling? We share how intentionally choosing joy and approaching challenges with curiosity has led us to unexpected adventures and a life filled with color – like dancing with the cast of Dancing with the Stars!

Here's what you'll discover:

• The Unexpected Difficulty of Choosing Joy: Understand why we sometimes resist happiness and cling to lower-vibration emotions.
• Emotional Intelligence as a Superpower: Learn how to identify and process your feelings for greater emotional control.
• Naming Your Emotions: The Taming Technique: Discover how labeling your feelings creates space for healthier processing.
• Breaking Free from Autopilot: Living with Intention: Learn how to escape the "law of habituation" and design a life you truly desire.
• The "How is this making me better?" Question: Finding Value in Challenges: Discover a powerful tool for reframing setbacks and fostering growth.
• When Negativity Serves You: Understanding the Underlying Reasons: Identify how negative emotions might be providing attention or a sense of safety.
• The Joyful Journey: Creating Unexpected Opportunities: Hear how consistently choosing joy has opened doors to incredible experiences.

Nuggets:

• How to recognize and shift from negative emotional patterns.
• The power of naming and processing your emotions.
• Strategies for breaking free from routine and embracing intention.
• The transformative impact of choosing joy in everyday life.

Why is it hard to choose happiness? How to break free from daily routines and find joy, How to find the positive in challenging situations, How to live a more intentional and joyf

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Email Jason Shelfer HERE

The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Chapters

• 0:00 Anniversary Celebrations & Future Plans
• 1:49 The Hard Choice of Choosing Joy
• 4:32 Breaking Patterns of Lower Vibrations
• 7:52 Life as a Series of Choices
• 10:40 Breaking Out of Routine Living
• 12:20 Dancing with Stars & Reflection

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:14

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer: 0:16

I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jason Shelfer: 0:20

On our anniversary. Happy anniversary, baby.

Jana Shelfer: 0:23

Excuse me if I sing off key. Excuse me if I sing off key. Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, baby. Excuse me if I sing off key, excuse me if I sing off key.

Jason Shelfer: 0:27

Happy anniversary.

Jana Shelfer: 0:28

We have a little banana gram that we usually sing for other people, but I've been singing it to us today, yes, and I've been singing it in my head.

Jason Shelfer: 0:37

I so wanted to be the first one to say happy anniversary this morning and you have been the first.

Jana Shelfer: 0:42

You even wished me an anniversary last night. I did Like this morning and you have been the first. You even wished me an anniversary last night. I did. I like happy early anniversary I did got you winner. I saw that you were awake and I was like happy anniversary early and then this morning it's not a race as he opened the door, I was up meditating. I literally stopped.

Jana Shelfer: 0:57

My meditation was like happy anniversary I got it out first, so funny I didn't have a card written, so I was was like I got to be first this time, this year, we celebrate each other every single day, and I don't need a card, I don't need a gift. Next year I want to go to Hawaii, okay let's do it Next year.

Jason Shelfer: 1:14

I want to do something big, let's do it.

Jana Shelfer: 1:20

Let's go and I want to do a mud event Like I want to go jump in the mud.

Jason Shelfer: 1:23

Go do a Tough Mudder in our tux in our wedding dress.

Jana Shelfer: 1:26

Yeah, that's what I want to do.

Jason Shelfer: 1:27

All right, let's do it. Or one of those actually with the white dress, doing one of those color runs would be fun, when they hit you with the colored powders.

Jana Shelfer: 1:35

Yes, that's what I want to do.

Jason Shelfer: 1:36

That might make some great visuals. I will say and our life has been so full of color.

Jana Shelfer: 1:42

It has been a colorful journey, and that's what we're talking about today Enjoying the journey.

Jason Shelfer: 1:49

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 1:49

Now, we talk about this a lot. We talk about this a lot, but the one point that I want to make is that sometimes it comes down to just making a choice, yeah, and sometimes it feels like the hard choice is choosing the fun, choosing the joy. Why is that? Sometimes it feels like the hard choice is just to accept having fun Like. I know that sometimes I want to be in a bad mood and I want, I want to be, I want to have an argument and I will sit there and be like no.

Jason Shelfer: 2:22

I'm grumpy.

Jana Shelfer: 2:23

And Jason will stick his tongue out.

Jason Shelfer: 2:25

Now I can make the choice to laugh, I can have fun or get madder, or I can sit there and be like that's not funny. Yeah, that does not fit with the category I want to put myself in. Right now I'm angry.

Jana Shelfer: 2:37

I'm angry right now. I just want to be in a bad mood.

Jason Shelfer: 2:40

Yes, and then he'll do like some helicopter with this penis or something, and literally Everybody does that. I know that's just a trick of the trade.

Jana Shelfer: 2:50

Literally. Sometimes it just comes down to making a choice to laugh, Am I right?

Jason Shelfer: 2:56

Yes, and the thing is, you're so right, because it's not always easy, and one of the things is recognizing when you're in that pattern of I'm choosing this lower vibration, I'm choosing to not find the joy, I'm choosing not to have the fun, and is that keeping me safe? Is that keeping me, um, in my old?

Jana Shelfer: 3:17

self serving you in some way it is, it is and it is.

Jason Shelfer: 3:21

So I think about, like when I get sick, I kind of like it's hard to have the energy and the vivacity or vitality whatever when you're sick, like you have a little bit of a cold, and then if you start leaning into I'm sick, like I don't feel good, all these things, you start telling yourself you create even more of it, yes, yes. And also a lot of times, there's this outside force that comes in to give you the affirmations to give you the comfort to give you all these things, to bring you medicine, bring you food in bed.

Jana Shelfer: 3:53

I'm so sorry that you don't feel well, it creates that new ease. Can I bring you some soup?

Jason Shelfer: 3:58

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer: 3:59

What else do you need?

Jason Shelfer: 4:01

And I'm not saying that you have to shirk off illness, right, did you just?

Jana Shelfer: 4:05

say jerk off Shirk, oh, okay. Well, I don't know. You've been bringing a couple words.

Jason Shelfer: 4:11

Well, you're the one that talked about helicopter.

Jana Shelfer: 4:12

Vivacity, I'm like whoa Viagra-ty.

Jason Shelfer: 4:15

But the so it's, it's noticing. Okay, where am I leaning away from my best self and where am I leaning into my best self?

Jana Shelfer: 4:24

It really okay To put it into kids terms. It's like where are you getting the attention?

Jason Shelfer: 4:36

Yes, and where are you giving yourself the attention?

Jana Shelfer: 4:37

This goes back into the adult terms is what are you focused on? So sometimes people they they like to it's, they like to be the victim because they get attention and it also they like to be the victim because they get attention, being the victim. They like to be the rebellion because that's where they get the attention. Now, it might not be positive attention all the time. However, people are at least paying attention to them.

Jason Shelfer: 4:59

Some of the attention is giving yourself the excuse to not be successful and to not learn something new.

Jana Shelfer: 5:07

Or to not face the, the rejection or the fact that maybe you're not good enough or a failure, part of the journey.

Jason Shelfer: 5:19

When you realize that's just part of the growth. Like every time you grow or up level or get through a challenge, you're hitting that resistance to build your tenacity, to build your grit, to build your determination, to see how important it is to you and it's not going to be easy. But if you find joy in the journey, part of it, and you just say how is this making me? I love your question. How is this making me better?

Jana Shelfer: 5:43

What is this?

Jason Shelfer: 5:44

teaching me, because that is a way to start reaching in, finding the good, finding the gratitude, finding the gold in the mountain that says I have huge value, like this mission is worthy of me and I'm worthy of the mission. And it's crazy, and when you're choosing fun on a regular basis and you're choosing the joy, you're going to find more of it.

Jana Shelfer: 6:10

Yeah, however, the reality is that sometimes people are stuck. Yep, I mean, it sounds great to choose joy, choose fun.

Jason Shelfer: 6:22

I'm not saying we don't get stuck Choose inspiration.

Jana Shelfer: 6:24

However, the reality of life is that sometimes we get stuck in choosing despair.

Jason Shelfer: 6:30

The lesser vibrations Disappointment.

Jana Shelfer: 6:32

Sadness Grief.

Jason Shelfer: 6:38

Those types of and that's where I go right back to where you helped me A identify and label what it is. I'm really feeling and exploring it, being curious and then processing it, Because a feeling can come and go in a minute. Because a feeling can come and go in a minute. If you process it healthily and if you name it, you tame it and then you get to say which feeling, which emotion, which thought is the best move forward.

Jason Shelfer: 7:12

More empowering thought it puts me in that new state, that two millimeter shift that Tony Robbins talks about, that new being of me. That's in there, that's present, that I want to show up as, but sometimes I'm afraid to show up as.

Jana Shelfer: 7:31

That's so good. So, really, what we're saying is life is a series of choices, yes, decisions and moments, constantly moments, decisions, choices, and we're constantly negotiating we're constantly negotiating with ourselves.

Jason Shelfer: 7:52

Yes, that's big, am I right? And when you're aware of the negotiation, you can choose to win. Yes, you can choose to continue to win, grow and become the person that's that, that has everything that you want, or you can choose to um, let it go by. You know, and that that was a huge thing for me is just having the awareness of am I going? Am I just going through the same motions all the time? Am I noticing my emotions? And then am I choosing the higher vibration, higher frequency, emotions and feelings? And then how is life different when I do choose those?

Jana Shelfer: 8:35

You know I mean you and I are very in tune with our emotions. That's because we talk about them.

Jason Shelfer: 8:41

And you make me cry. Stop, I'm kidding, stop. We talk about them and you make me cry Stop, I'm kidding, stop.

Jana Shelfer: 8:45

However, I would say though you know, most people are just going through life, and I'm not sure they're as emotionally intelligent.

Jason Shelfer: 8:57

And I think what happens is and you say it a lot is we get busy being busy, and the nature of getting busy being busy is that we're doing the same thing every day and it can have its little variations. But you know, okay, I'm taking the same route to work, I'm going to get there at the same time, I'm going to see the same people, I'm going to do the same job, quote, unquote. And then I'm going to take the same route home. I'm going to say the same things when I come in the door, all the sameness.

Jana Shelfer: 9:23

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer: 9:23

And then so, as we continue doing that, that law of habituation the new habits are formed, and now it just becomes a routine of rote.

Jana Shelfer: 9:33

It is.

Jason Shelfer: 9:34

And doing the same thing over and over again and nothing changes. So we don't even have to think about our feelings, we just know this is my job on the planet Earth and I hope to get the results that I'm looking for. And we don't take accountability of where exactly we want to go and are we taking intentional, purposeful, challenging and changing steps or adjusting steps to get there?

Jana Shelfer: 9:54

I will say, though I feel like there is a little bit of a shift, that people are becoming more aware.

Jason Shelfer: 10:01

I feel that, and I feel that literally like just going through the public's grocery line and when you check out the magazines that I see.

Jana Shelfer: 10:08

And I'm not sure if that's because we are more aware and so we attract people who are also more aware and when we watch movies and television and whatnot. I can see it in the script writing.

Jason Shelfer: 10:23

We're stuck in the algorithm.

Jana Shelfer: 10:24

Yes, I'm not sure, if that's it, if that I'm.

Jason Shelfer: 10:29

And the thing is, but I would say that our life is more exciting, more fun, more joyful, there's more vitality and we're accomplishing things that weren't really on my radar and I didn't know were available on this track that we're on.

Jana Shelfer: 10:47

I know right.

Jason Shelfer: 10:48

Which is absolutely incredible. I mean, tomorrow we're dancing with the cast from Dancing with the Stars.

Jana Shelfer: 10:54

Who knew we'd be doing that? And that's been on your vision board. Right, and we're doing it for our anniversary.

Jason Shelfer: 11:01

It's one more area of life that has created itself in our presence through the way we show up oh my gosh, and the choices that we've made in choosing fun, choosing joy and choosing to be really in our beingness, of becoming who we ultimately aspire to be and then growing from there too.

Jana Shelfer: 11:20

What are we going to wear? Oh my gosh, I need to go.

Jason Shelfer: 11:22

I'm going to wear something ridiculous. No, you're going to look at me and go. I can't believe you're wearing.

Jana Shelfer: 11:26

No, no, we, we have to go.

Jason Shelfer: 11:29

We have to put on our best selves.

Jana Shelfer: 11:30

We have to go plan this right now, oh bring the right kind of attention to ourselves oh my gosh, we have to wear bride and groom outfit.

Jason Shelfer: 11:42

Oh, and then have everybody throw paint on us. Yeah, I hope I still fit in my tux.

Jana Shelfer: 11:49

We definitely don't. We definitely don't.

Jason Shelfer: 11:54

You never know, after 19 years the fabric in it's probably going to give a little. I put on my ski boots the other day for water skiing and they dry, rotted and just broke in my hand.

Jana Shelfer: 12:06

Oh, so choose joy. That's what you're saying.

Jason Shelfer: 12:08

Choose joy, enjoy the journey and recognize where you're not, and then ask yourself if I chose joy, would this feel better? And I bet you 100% of the time it would feel better.

Jana Shelfer: 12:18

It's been a great 19 years with you.

Jason Shelfer: 12:21

I think it's been the best 19 years of my life, the best 21 years of my life since we met. Wow, that's yeah, it changed my life.

Jana Shelfer: 12:30

Oh for the better, oh yeah, okay.

Jason Shelfer: 12:32

Like I never thought I was going to get married, like I knew that I would have strong connections with people and things like that, but I did not know. I was like I'm just tired of chasing or play or play in this game. Yeah, and it turned into not a game but a um. It like the journey. It was like I don't want to. I want to be on this journey with you, regardless of what comes, and, and you taught me so much about imagining the possibilities and then just figuring out how to make them happen.

Jana Shelfer: 13:02

You rock my world.

Jason Shelfer: 13:04

Make life worth living. Thanks for joining us Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer: 13:08

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.