Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Stop Caring

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 26

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Reclaim Your Power: Stop Giving a Damn What Others Think (Living Lucky® Podcast)

Tired of living your life based on other people's opinions? Ready to break free from the paralyzing fear of judgment? In this episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason & Jana Banana, we're giving you the permission slip to finally stop caring what others think.

We're diving deep into the psychology of judgment, revealing how your obsession with external validation is holding you back from living your most authentic and fulfilling life.

Here's what you'll discover:

  • The Illusion of Judgment: We expose the truth: most people are too preoccupied with their own insecurities to truly care about your choices.
  • The "Small Town Judgment Effect" & How to Break Free: Learn how to overcome the fear of judgment ingrained by societal pressures & reclaim your individuality.
  • The Power of "None of My Business": Discover how adopting Rachel Hollis's mantra can liberate you from the shackles of other people's opinions.
  • The "I Can't Believe You're Wearing That to the Mall" Game: We share a fun and effective exercise to build your confidence and embrace your unique style.
  • The 20-Year Weed: We reveal how a single negative comment can become a debilitating mantra and how to shift your focus to the "flowers in your garden."
  • Internal Work vs. External Fixes: Understand why focusing on your inner world is the key to transforming your outer reality.
  • Reclaim Your Fearless Inner Child: Learn how to tap into the carefree confidence of your childhood and live with uninhibited joy.

This episode is your invitation to break free from the chains of judgment and live a life of unapologetic authenticity.

Key Nuggets:

  • How to recognize and release the fear of judgment.
  • The importance of shifting your focus from external validation to internal fulfillment.
  • How to cultivate unwavering self-confidence.
  • The power of setting boundaries and prioritizing your well-being.

Ready to stop giving a damn and start living your best life? Tune in to the Living Lucky® Podcast and discover how to reclaim your power!

Keywords: fear of judgment, self-confidence, authenticity, personal empowerment, self-help, mindset, personal growth, positive thinking, overcoming fear, self-acceptance, Living Lucky Podcast, Jason & Jana B

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

Stop worrying what other people think I know right, Because they're worried about what you think?

Jana Shelfer:

Everybody's doing the same damn thing.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, if you think about it, when you really just step back and get really objective, you realize most people are more worried about what other people think. They're not using their mental real estate to think about what you're doing. Using their mental real estate to think about what you're doing, I know, but but so we just kind of put these mirrors around ourselves and think what is someone else thinking about me?

Jason Shelfer:

And if we, if we can let go of that, if we can just say, hey, you know what, this is my life, I'm excited about it, I know where I want to go then and I and I know what I want to do, then we get to act free and fearless and and do the things. We get to be our, our four and five year old self, with a Superman cape on.

Jana Shelfer:

But why is that? I grew up in a small town and I feel like it's even exacerbated because of the small town mentality. Well, and this is the thing, because I care about what other people think. In fact, we care about what other people think more than we care about what we think ourselves.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and our own well-being. Yes, we will bend over backwards so that we don't get judged. We don't get talked bad about Judgment is one of the biggest fears for us and one of the things I can tell you is the most successful people in the world. Don't give a damn what anyone else thinks.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, but in some ways I'm just coming from a small town.

Jason Shelfer:

I grew up in a small town, value system.

Jana Shelfer:

In some ways that feels a little narcissistic.

Jason Shelfer:

I would say so many people want to emulate the most successful people in the world. So many people want to feel success. They want that fulfillment. However, they hide behind. What will someone else think if I feel fulfilled? What will someone else think if I do the things that make me happy? And it's just, it's really an excuse mechanism and it's a lack of confidence in self. So we want to say that they're narcissistic and all these things, but it's just a supreme confidence and I realize there are narcissistic people.

Jana Shelfer:

You once challenged me and I don't even know if you remember this, but it's been probably 10 years ago and you said, Jana, if you were really uber confident, then you would go into a bank and I don't even know why you said a bank, but you said you would go into a bank and you would just lay down in the middle of the floor and you would just lay there and that would show that you're uber confident.

Jason Shelfer:

And I was like you're dumb.

Jana Shelfer:

That's what I said. I go. You're dumb. That does not show that I'm uber, uber confident. That just shows that I'm dumb, Like that's a dumb challenge. And I'm not going to do that.

Jason Shelfer:

And it kind of depends on what you want to do.

Jana Shelfer:

And you said no. That shows that you don't care what anyone thinks and that you're just going to do it. And I said no. That means that I'm giving in to your stupid challenge, and confidence is that I have the bravery to say no. There you go.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's the flip side of it. If it doesn't spark interest, it's kind of like when we played the game. I can't believe You're Wearing that to the Mall.

Jana Shelfer:

Right.

Jason Shelfer:

Where we would go into our closets, we would put on ridiculous outfits and we were going to spend gobs of money at the mall.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And we would go put on the most ridiculous outfit until the other person said I can't believe you're going to wear that to the mall, I know because it was embarrassing and it was one of the most fun games and it's like, but we also had to play that. We also had the confidence of having a good bankroll walking into the mall, so that it didn't matter what people thought, what people were saying or that people were watching us, because they're like, oh, these people don't belong quote, unquote, don't belong here.

Jana Shelfer:

But they did. And then we would go into the jewelry store and literally the security guy would literally start looking over our shoulder Like why are they in here?

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, go look at watches, and it was like a pretty woman moment it was. You know where Richard Gere walks in and goes, hey, we won't shop here, and she's like big mistake. Mistake Big mistake, and it's because we don't need to worry about their judgment. Their judgment's just going to happen and their judgment really is a reflection of them. We talk about that all the time.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, I know Judgment is such a weird thing and I feel like judgment happens whether the intention is there or not.

Jason Shelfer:

We had it this weekend.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, should we share that example? Sure, I don't know how to share it without I feel like a turd. Let's just say, let's put it that way.

Jana Shelfer:

That's you judging yourself, I know.

Jana Shelfer:

Because someone came up to me and said Jana, about 20 years ago you said something to me and for about 20 years, 10 times a day, I repeat that sentence to myself and I compare myself to you.

Jason Shelfer:

And I make a list.

Jana Shelfer:

And it was in a negative light, like it was in a negative way, and basically they don't have the same abilities that I have. So every time they would go to do something, they would say see, jana, can you do this? Or I can't do it like you can do it.

Jason Shelfer:

And so what happened was is there was an hour to an hour and a half conversation on the phone with this person and this one sentence of hey, we're very much alike. You can do anything in the world you want to do.

Jana Shelfer:

That was my intention, was to give them confidence in that, hey, you can do anything that you want. We are the same. You and I are the same. We have the same talents, the same abilities, the same skills.

Jason Shelfer:

The same mental aspects of overcoming and adapting.

Jana Shelfer:

And if you concentrate on what you can do instead of what you can't, you've got this, and that was my intention was to support this person and give them encouragement, and over the weekend, or over this past week, they told me that for the past 20 years, 10 times a day, I have been taking a mental real estate.

Jason Shelfer:

In their heads.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, so it's a In a negative way and it just made me feel terrible, but the thing is it was a 90 minute conversation and that's literally it was like a five word sentence, and so she was making a list over and over again of I can't do. This Jana can like, when you make a list of what you can't do, you will find more of what you can't do, because that's what you're looking for throughout the day, and that's that's one of those things. Like we we've we've gone through that ourselves, like we grabbed hold of something based on the state of being in the, in the mental space, the spiritual space, the, the physical and the intellectual space that we were in.

Jason Shelfer:

We grabbed onto something that someone said we ruminated on it, repeated it, created that rut, that neuropathway of this is how is this true?

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, and disregard all the other other, like disregard all the flowers in the garden and pulled and grabbed that one weed and said let me nourish this yes, and I guess I mean when, when they came up and told me this, I actually, you know, I of course I had compassion for this person and at the same time, I I wanted to say you're welcome. Right, you're welcome. I'm glad I inspired you.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, there comes a point where you build that mountain so high or the rut so deep that you say enough is enough. I'm going to move past this.

Jana Shelfer:

Right.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's where we were.

Jana Shelfer:

And it also came to a point where I was like, okay, well, I'm sorry that that happened, and One of the things I think is we need to realize like when it's all internal work. Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

And I did not know this. I will flat out admit I thought I could fix everything out there in the world.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, like if I gave it enough time and effort, I could fix everything out there, and then I spent probably 50% of my time working on me and changing a little bit about myself. Yes, and that allowed me so much just a way to have awareness around things, different perspectives, and it allowed me to let go of all the judgment even my own judgment about what was going on in the world and concentrate on me and me being the best part of what's going on in the world and showing up in the world, which eventually changed everything in the world for me.

Jana Shelfer:

Well, so what I was about to say is, you know, when this person was telling me how I had affected them for 20 years. After 20 minutes and me apologizing, there's not much more I can say, and so at some point I just needed to to walk away from the conversation because it was bringing me down, your energy levels down, and so there's a point where I I needed to make a boundary there and say gosh, I'm so sorry.

Jason Shelfer:

And and there you go, yes and thank you. Thank you for for for bringing this to my attention yeah, so this, it makes me think of whipping a dead horse. Yes, like that's. Like what's the point?

Jana Shelfer:

yes, so, and it comes back. It comes back to the point of this podcast is at some point we need to just stop caring what other people think.

Jason Shelfer:

In the most empowering sense of that phrase.

Jana Shelfer:

You know, in the most empowering yes and kind sense of that phrase. You know one time, rachel Hollis, I was at her conference and she said what other people think of me is none of my business.

Jason Shelfer:

None of my frickin' business.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, she always added a little spice to her sentences, but yes, isn't that true.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah. So I would encourage everyone out there to do just do one thing today or one thing tomorrow, that where you just don't care what other people think, something that brings you joy, something that brings you love, something that brings you confidence, and just don't care, don't give a damn.

Jana Shelfer:

Just stop caring.

Jason Shelfer:

So, what so?

Jana Shelfer:

what.

Jason Shelfer:

So what people think?

Jana Shelfer:

Who cares?

Jason Shelfer:

You can't stop somebody from thinking so do the things that you love.

Jana Shelfer:

I think that was an SNL skit. So what, who cares who?

Jana Shelfer:

cares. Thanks for joining us. Keep Living Lucky®. Bye-bye, so am I who cares. Thanks for joining us.

Jason Shelfer:

Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.