Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Values in Your Relationships

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 13

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How are YOU Living Lucky®?

Crack the Code to Fulfilling Relationships: Uncover Your Values & Attract Like-Minded Love in Our Latest Podcast!

Ready to unlock the secrets to thriving relationships? This episode of the Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason & Jana Banana is your roadmap to connection and fulfillment! We delve deep into the transformative power of identifying your core values and how they shape every aspect of your interactions with others.

Here's a taste of the powerful nuggets of wisdom you'll glean:

  • The life-changing question that ignites self-discovery and strengthens your bonds with others (hint: it's all about what truly matters to YOU!)
  • Why vulnerability is your secret weapon for forging deeper, more meaningful connections.
  • How to overcome limiting beliefs that hold you back from experiencing love's full potential.
  • The magic of accountability in relationships: fostering growth and support without blame.
  • Unleashing the law of attraction in your love life: by embodying the qualities you seek, you'll magnetically attract your perfect partner.

We share inspiring takeaways from the legendary Celine Dion's life journey, illustrating the transformative power of love. We get brutally honest about our own challenges with self-doubt and insecurities, and how they impacted our relationship.

This episode is your wake-up call to shatter negative patterns and cultivate a positive mindset for relationship success. Learn how to show up authentically for the people you love and watch your connections flourish.

Are you ready to rewrite the narrative of your relationships? Press play and unlock a treasure trove of practical wisdom to transform your love life and attract the connections you deserve!

P.S. We also discuss the importance of healthy boundaries and maintaining a can-do attitude (with a dose of humor about Jana's past tendency to go a little overboard on the motivational front!).

Keywords: self-help, personal development, relationships, love, values, mindset, vulnerability, accountability, positive thinking, limiting beliefs, How To Build Strong Relationships

#relationships #corevalues #love #connection #authenticity #vulnerability #accountability #trust #communicat

For mind-blowing inspirational content, join us on Living Lucky TV and on Living Lucky TV Live where you become part of the show at EtherealTV.net

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Email Jason Shelfer HERE

The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too. We are doing a series right now the 14 questions that will change your life. Not in that way or maybe in that way if you're lucky, who knows?

Jana Shelfer:

Today is question number five, and the question is Jason drum roll.

Jason Shelfer:

What qualities do you value most in your relationships? How do you want to show up for the people you love?

Jana Shelfer:

Ooh because how you show up for them is really how they're going to show up for you.

Jason Shelfer:

Very often, because you say so often that how we train people how to treat us and that's how we show up, is we get that mirror reflection.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, in fact, this morning I was doing a fake speech in the mirror, which I often do, that's right. And I literally said if you want to be interesting, be interested. If you want to be inspiring, be inspired. If you want to be supported, support others. Like I literally went through all of these things and I mean I was bringing it this morning. I was like in the chapel preaching to the church.

Jana Shelfer:

Preach sister.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and when I walked in, you were saying I'm radiant, I'm bright. What was it again I'm brilliant, I'm brilliant, I'm bright, I'm a radiant being of light, and I just wanted to join in with that. Yes, like it was, like this is. I was like yes and yes, and Me too.

Jana Shelfer:

And then what else is kind of ironic that we're talking about this today is that this morning I was on a text thread with my dad which I do almost daily and he was saying, jana, you need to watch the Celine Dion documentary which we have watched, and I remember from that documentary her highest value in life was love and it stemmed from not, I mean, you heard it in her music, but you, you zoom out and you look at Celine Dion's life and her relationship with her husband, who is no longer living, was the. I mean, it really was like a catalyst for everything that grew for her.

Jason Shelfer:

So you could hear it in the words of her music and you could also feel it in the tone, like the vibrational tone.

Jason Shelfer:

Which is why she became an international phenomenon is because people can feel love and people aspire to have love and tune into that and they gravitate towards it, even like whether you want it, whether you have it, whether you feel like it's not available for you. They're going to gravitate towards that. That's my highest value in life is love. I didn't know this for a long time. In fact, for a part of my life, I felt unlovable, which is just. That is crazy to me, and looking back, though, I see where I was being loved.

Jana Shelfer:

Because I look at you and I actually think that that is one of your highest and largest attributes?

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, well, it's, and I think it's because I've put down the facade that I carried for a long time, like I, I put up these thoughts of I'm not enough, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a screw up, all these little things. And then I tried to overcome, like I built these walls in my mind, tried to overcome those with um being the class clown, like doing crazy things just to get some type of quote unquote attention. And then when I realized, looking back, that I was, I had love all around me. Yes, it was the walls that I put up and some of the meaning that I put on, some of the things that I went through that created this distance or difference between me and love.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And then I was like, let's just bring these walls down.

Jana Shelfer:

Be human and and vulnerable, and vulnerable. I think vulnerability is really an attribute that sometimes we want to steer clear of.

Jason Shelfer:

We don't want to be transparent in what's really happening deep down within our soul, and it's the thoughtful vulnerability, that thoughtful authenticity about hey, this is something I'm going through, this is something I want help with, and coding it with love instead of coding it with shame or blame or any of that stuff. So just what lens am I looking through? So that's what I look for in relationships, and I also look for a can-do attitude, like I love, like when we got together, you were like I can do anything, I know, like butterfly in the sky.

Jana Shelfer:

I was a little delusional at times, I will say I don't think so. However, I have realized that. So there's different sides to me and I've realized that when I show up as the, we've got this.

Jason Shelfer:

Unstoppable. We're invincible. Unbreakable we are unstoppable.

Jana Shelfer:

It does bring something out in you and it does make our relationship stronger.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and that's something that is just powerful.

Jana Shelfer:

Now, sometimes, though, it brings out the opposite in you, because there is a high standard that comes with that, and there's discipline.

Jason Shelfer:

So it brings out some. There's a resistance there that allows me to grow.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, however, sometimes I have realized that when I push that too far, then almost a gorilla comes out of you Do, you know what I'm saying, and you're like you know what Jammah I'm not going to work out with you. If you're going to sit here and go, we can do it.

Jana Shelfer:

Come on Push faster, push faster, let's go, let's go. You're not doing it hard.

Jason Shelfer:

We got this, you're not lifting enough weight, you got more and you give it up. Keep going, keep going.

Jana Shelfer:

And I remember early on in the podcast days, every podcast that we would do, we would stop, and at the end of it there was this dialogue that would happen between us. And what should we call this inner Jana that comes out. That is very I mean, she is, she's tough and she's unstoppable, but she's also very demanding.

Jason Shelfer:

She expects the best and she's disciplined and she's like the superhero champion she is she is, and sometimes you just want to be between average and superhero yeah, and like you don't want to be who wants to be?

Jana Shelfer:

you want to be three-fourths of a superhero because once you jump into that superhero then there's expectations that come. But the beautiful want to be. Who wants to be average?

Jason Shelfer:

You want to be three-fourths of a superhero Because once you jump into that superhero, then there's expectations that come with it. The beautiful thing is is when so when that part of you comes out, there's something that helps me grow. And I won't deny the resistance because I'm often putting what I feel like is everything I have in me, and I think the real meaning on the other side of that is when you're pushing me. Specifically, I feel like I'm not enough for you and so that's where.

Jason Shelfer:

I start creating this, so your insecurities of I'm not enough come out so that's where, in my little gray matter, meaning maker up here in my head starts going. She doesn't see how much you're putting in, she doesn't think you're good enough, it's you got more. So that's where it's like it's my issue. I just want to stop something right now.

Jana Shelfer:

Jason and I I believe I've come to this conclusion. I mean, if you've been listening to our podcast for the last several years, you know that we have been on this journey not only of self-development and becoming the best versions of ourself. Also, we have been building a career and a brand and doing our best to help as many people along the way. Yes, the biggest obstacle that we have faced is us. Yeah, and I think that's everywhere Whoa, whoa, whoa. So in Jana's life, I often say, the biggest obstacle Jana faces is Jana. In Jason's life, I often think and I don't always tell you this but the biggest obstacle Jason faces is Jason. But then there's an us where we're building this business together and it's very intertwined because it's our relationship, it's our friendship, our love and also the way we want to impact others and it's our finances.

Jason Shelfer:

I mean let's just be real. It is all in one kit and caboodle, and I often feel that the biggest obstacle we face is us, and so I think that's, I think everyone's going through that, like I really think that we are all our biggest obstacles, and then, especially if we're trying to do something together, that's just the us or the me and you becoming one, yes, and so then the new singularity of the oneness of us becomes our biggest option.

Jana Shelfer:

And it is so much easier to focus on your partner's baggage than it is to focus on your partner's attributes gifts, blessings, strong points. I don't know why that is, but it is so much easier, like when things, when you look at your reality together and you think this isn't what I expected, then it's so much easier to start picking apart how the relationship is bringing you down.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, and I think the biggest, one of the biggest things about this is the recognition or awareness of where am I focusing the my, my, my attention Is it towards what's not working? Is it towards what I think is the problem, or is it focusing on what I'm grateful for, what, what's working for us and the things that you can build from? Yeah, and that's been, I think that's been a catalyst for us.

Jana Shelfer:

And I will say that I feel like in the last year I have really, really started focusing on how this relationship has been such a gift and even Almost a lottery, lottery how I have. I have told so many people in the last couple of weeks that if I was doing this all by myself, if I was becoming a life coach, speaker, building a brand all by myself no-transcript I don't think I would still be doing it. I think I would have hit a point where I would have said you know what, maybe God doesn't really want this for me. Do you know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer:

Even though I never give up.

Jana Shelfer:

I just would have pivoted by now. I would have said you know what? Maybe just working in an office would be fine for me. Do you know what I'm saying?

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, and I think that's where it comes in is find someone. So find that relationship that lifts you, supports you and gives you those moments of I've got one more in me, like I've got, because like I can see it, I like I see your soul glowing, I see your mind growing, I see your brilliance which brilliance is a good word for it, it is, and radiance, brilliance and radiance.

Jason Shelfer:

For the world. I see that and I think that what you need is the place, the stages quote unquote to be on, so that the world can see what's possible and what that if they just have a little bit more grit, tenacity, perseverance, discipline and you can do anything Kind of like when we got together, like you, you said it was a little delusional that you could do anything, but I saw that in you, like it wasn't, like it might. It's delusional to you because probably you're telling yourself I can, and you're in your back of your mind, you're going.

Jana Shelfer:

Well, I also know that there's this. There is an opposite side to that confidence, which can come across as grandeur or grandiosity.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah. And almost they call it the godlike complex and pride comes before the fall and blah, blah, blah.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, and so I'm steering clear. I want to steer clear of getting into that narcissistic mindset, because that is not me at all. No, if anything, I have faced insecurities and doubt, uncertainty, fear, loneliness, thinking that I'm all alone, that I'm different, not knowing how to be myself.

Jason Shelfer:

Thinking I don't fit in All these things, and we all experience that I'm not good enough, and I think that's where-.

Jason Shelfer:

What's wrong with me when we have someone that's close to us, that can be us, be a partner and also be objective. That's a beautiful thing where we can actually see hey, these are your superpowers, and remind us of what our superpowers are Like. We get that from the people that we work with. Yes, hey, you've helped me so much, like if. Like, the paycheck is one thing, but the you've changed my life is something totally different.

Jana Shelfer:

That's a payment that you just that's priceless. You put that in the bank and it just that's one of those commercials that you know. Thank you from someone priceless.

Jason Shelfer:

You know those commercials Priceless, you know those commercials. Mastercard or something like that. Yes, priceless.

Jana Shelfer:

That's what. That is All right, so let's answer the question.

Jason Shelfer:

The question is what qualities do you value most in your relationships?

Jana Shelfer:

Okay. So what we've done here is we've kind of walked through it and demonstrated how you would go about answering this question. I challenge anyone that's listening to this to ask yourself that question what do you value in your relationships For Jason and I? I mean, we are accountability partners.

Jana Shelfer:

We're not only lovers, best friends, companions. You know, I feel I really feel so lucky to have a partner that I can bounce ideas off of. We can challenge each other to grow, we can keep each other accountable so that we're being truthful and honest with ourselves.

Jason Shelfer:

That was the next one that I really wanted to make sure I added in there was accountability, because it's a supportive accountability, not a blame and shame, but it's a cause I don't work off of negative reinforcement.

Jana Shelfer:

Jason does not at all at all. And I will say I always say you know, compliment me and you're going to get more out of me, compliment me and you're going to get more out of me.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, I work on both ends of the spectrum.

Jana Shelfer:

Because there's something else. As soon as someone says, no, you can't do that, there's something inside me that it's a dark energy. It is a dark energy, but it is a. Watch me, you motherfucker.

Jason Shelfer:

It's a dark energy because it's behind you and it's going to push you. Yes, it's not the pull forward, it's the push forward that says hey, hold my beer, take pictures, because you're about to see it happen. Yes, which is very redneck philosophy which I can relate to heavily from my youth.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, and it also can get me in trouble sometimes because I don't know how to harness that energy sometimes.

Jason Shelfer:

You just don to harness that energy. Sometimes you just don't harness that energy. I think you can.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

But there's a proof to someone else which also is a proof to yourself, sometimes when it wasn't even a thought, that you wanted to do that, I wanted to do. And now, all of a sudden, you planted that seed in my mind. So now there's a beautiful awareness of next time. Something like that comes up like hey, here's eight flights of stairs. Or here's eight stairs in a row. Let's see, Jana, you can't go off of that.

Jana Shelfer:

Never dare me to do anything. Just don't. Don't dare me, Because I mean literally, I overthink everything and I not only will have this energy that I'll say, oh yeah, don't dare me, because I mean, literally I overthink everything. And I not only will have this energy that I'll say, oh yeah, well, watch me, I'll do it, just because I can. And then there's also an energy that's like, oh, but you know what Am I doing it? Just to please. Maybe I need to step that back, maybe I need to stand up for myself.

Jason Shelfer:

But the beauty of it is your imagination figures it out and does it. So knowing that you can do all these other things means you can set your imagination to wherever you want to be and do that so love.

Jana Shelfer:

I don't know if you're as confused as I am right now.

Jason Shelfer:

And accountability. What are your attributes that you're looking for in your relationships? And then be those attributes.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh yes, then become everything that you're looking for. Become that, because I'm going to wrap this up in a nice little bow for everybody we attract who we are so big, so the opportunities that we get in life and the people that we have in our circles. That is because of who we are Like attracts like, like attracts, like. So set your just write down what is it that I'm looking for in my relationships and then be those attributes, characteristics.

Jason Shelfer:

And the universe, the world, will bring that to you.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh, love it, I love this series.

Jason Shelfer:

Thanks so much for joining us today. Keep Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.