Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Curiosity: Finding What You're Looking For

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 8 • Episode 9

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Struggling to Find Your Spark? Reignite Your Passion and Live a Fulfilling Life with Living Lucky®!

Feeling stuck in a rut? Want to break free from negativity and cultivate a life overflowing with purpose? Join Jason and Jana Banana on a captivating journey of self-discovery in this episode of the Living Lucky® podcast!

Uncover the transformative power of asking the right questions. Learn how to shift your inner dialogue from self-doubt to empowering inquiries that illuminate the path to a life you love. Discover practical strategies to overcome limiting beliefs and cultivate a positive mindset that sets you on the course for success.

This episode dives deep into the intricate dance of relationships. Explore the importance of understanding your own passions and those of your partner. Learn how to bridge the gap between individual desires and create a harmonious connection fueled by shared goals.

Are you constantly prioritizing others' needs over your own? This episode challenges you to prioritize your well-being and rediscover the activities that bring you joy. Remember, fulfilling relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect and open communication. By nurturing your own passions, you bring a brighter light to your connections.

We all get bogged down in the daily grind sometimes. This episode reminds you of the importance of keeping things fun! Reconnect with your inner child and rediscover the simple joys that spark your spirit. Let loose, embrace a playful curiosity, and watch your personal growth soar.

Living Lucky® is more than a podcast; it's a transformative experience. Join Jason and Jana as they guide you on a path of self-discovery. Ask yourself the questions that unlock your true potential: "What truly ignites my soul?" Embrace the journey of exploration, and watch your life transform with each episode.

Keywords: self-help, personal development, limiting beliefs, mindset, positive thinking, relationships, communication, self-care, joy, curiosity, growth, Jana Shelfer, Jason Shelfer, Living Lucky Podcast, Best Podcast 2025, Personal Development Series, How to do better

For mind-blowing inspirational content, join us on Living Lucky TV and on Living Lucky TV Live where you become part of the show at EtherealTV.net

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer:

Good morning.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm Jana, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

Life is really about asking better questions. Hey frick, freaking man Not only life is about that, but our self-talk is about asking better questions.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, you're going to start answering the questions that you ask, whether you're doing it consciously or subconsciously.

Jana Shelfer:

Even thinking, when we think. If we ask better questions, we will lead ourselves to better, more empowering answers.

Jason Shelfer:

Oh, that's so big, I love it Right.

Jana Shelfer:

Isn't thinking, just a series of asking ourselves questions? Yeah, being curious is asking ourselves questions.

Jason Shelfer:

Absolutely, and that's going to tend to navigate your compass towards finding the better answer.

Jana Shelfer:

And then what happens is we start getting answers, we start seeing evidence of the answers, and that will lead you in a direction. The only thing is sometimes, because we're not asking the right questions, we get led into the wrong direction.

Jason Shelfer:

What's wrong with me? Why can't I do this? Why can't I figure that out?

Jana Shelfer:

Oh, I've learned this the hard way. I have learned this the hard way. I think it's the awareness around.

Jason Shelfer:

What questions am I asking myself? And so what answers am I finding? Because so often we find the things that we don't want in life, and so I can put a pen in all the things that I don't want, and a lot of times we don't say, well, what is it that fires me up, what is it that lights my flame on the inside, like what ignites?

Jana Shelfer:

my soul. Okay, so let's start with question number one what truly ignites your soul? What truly ignites my soul, your soul, our souls together?

Jason Shelfer:

So in a relationship, that's a huge question, the one you just went to the end what? Truly ignites our soul, our collective soul, because in a marriage, there's really three relationships here there's the relationship with myself and the us.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, the relationship with yourself and then the relationship that we have together. Yes, so big, which is why it makes it so complex. It does. Because, then it comes down to communicating.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, and crucial conversations where we say, okay, this is what truly lights me up, and you say this is what truly lights me up.

Jana Shelfer:

But what truly lights us up.

Jason Shelfer:

Where do those circles match in the middle?

Jana Shelfer:

And where's that zone of genius? So, for example, like dance, dance for me lights me up because it is creating, it is movement, it's almost a spiritual experience with God and it lifts my spirits because of the music, really the music and the movement. It changes my state and it allows me to maybe transmute some feelings that I'm having about other areas that maybe are lower frequency feelings, but it allows me to transmute those into higher frequency.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, it sounds to me like you're saying it lets you flow where, in some areas, you feel like you drag and you get to kind of just transmute that and have that experience. So dancing for me-.

Jana Shelfer:

Now for Jason. Dancing is not those things?

Jason Shelfer:

No, Dancing with you gives me joy and happiness and fun and excitement and a new resonance. That's a vibrational resonance of kind of love and connection. So that is so. My fun is involved in us coming together and moving together and experiencing that music together and experiencing that music together. So when, if you're not having fun and dance, it kind of it's like well, why am I doing this? Because that's why I'm doing it.

Jana Shelfer:

So it's important. It's important to know my why, it's important to know his why, and then here's the third part of it there's a why together.

Jason Shelfer:

So for us as a couple, the importance of going to a dance lesson is that connection, the movement as kind of one, and we both have our own separate movements within one, so it's almost like a visualization of life.

Jana Shelfer:

So I'm going to say yes to everything you said. I also think that you're still looking from your lens. I probably am. I think the connection, I think the why for us as a couple is more so of how we can inspire others and how we connect with others and how we can use our dancing in our career and our speaking, and do you know what I'm?

Jason Shelfer:

saying it's a, it's a big. It's a big thing because life is a dance. It's like are you on the? So many people won't even get on the dance floor Like they're scared of what they're, what it's going to look like, what it's going to feel like, and this is whether it's just going for a new job interview, whether it's putting themselves out there for anything.

Jana Shelfer:

So there is a much bigger picture happening there, so okay, so we're not talking about dance today, even though that's what we've been talking about.

Jana Shelfer:

We're just trying to walk you through. When you ask yourselves the right questions, you will get to better answers. And question number one is what truly ignites your soul? Now, as Jason and I just demonstrated, there's three different perspectives there. There's the perspective of what lights my soul, there's the perspective of what lights his soul, and then there's the perspective of the us, from the us pronoun yes. People don't understand that, and it's not only in a relationship, it's when you're at work. It's how does this light me up? How does this light my boss up? And then how does this light the company up? Right, like there's always three. Or if you're in your extended family, it's okay. How is this lighting me up? How is this lighting them up? And then how is this lighting us up together? How is this lighting?

Jason Shelfer:

them up. And then, how is this lighting us up together as a collective?

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I feel like that's a nuance of communication that people don't quite understand, but I think their soul knows it, like I think a lot of times.

Jason Shelfer:

Our soul knows that a relationship is something between one and others, knows that a relationship is something between one and others, and then so there has to be their perspective, my perspective and our perspective, and it is finding those overlaps of the circle and communicating them, because so often we don't communicate and we get stuck in our own, like you brought it up earlier, where I was kind of still looking at it from my lens. And it's because we talk about things on our own, like you brought it up earlier, where I was kind of still looking at it from my lens, and it's because we talk about things on our podcast.

Jana Shelfer:

I mean, you look at politics and it's really hard to get out of your own lens and to look at the collective. So, for example, politics, what is best for me personally, what is best for you personally, and then what is best for America, yeah Right, it's like getting out of our perspective and even even when we try what's best for America for both of us, yeah, like that's, that's a big thing that we're not talking about.

Jason Shelfer:

So like I can think about what's best for America, but if I taint it with this is what's best for America because America is my America, but if I don't understand, okay, what's your America? What's your?

Jana Shelfer:

vision. I'm confused. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, I think the important question comes down to saying OK, well, everyone has their own perspective and so everyone has what's going to light them up and what's going to work best for them, and it is finding the overlap. But when we're not discussing where the overlap is because we're not curious enough and asking the right questions to lean into it, OK, so let's, let's go back to what truly ignites my soul.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, let's go back to that, because sometimes I feel and I think maybe this has been one of the biggest obstacles that you and I have both faced is sometimes we care about what other people think, feel we care about their feelings.

Jason Shelfer:

Especially in a relationship.

Jana Shelfer:

And so sometimes we don't truly, we're not brutally honest about what lights our soul. Yes, and then all of a sudden, we start going down a path, and it's not until we even as a couple, it's not until we become like two degrees apart, where, all of a sudden, then you say something or I say something, and I'm like, wait a minute, that's not what we discussed, that's not where we're going well, from my perspective, that's exactly where we were going, right. Are you with me there?

Jason Shelfer:

I'm 100% with you, and I think this is what happens in couples all the time. Just what you said is so I want to label myself as an excellent husband and what I say is okay. Well, what's my definition of an excellent husband? It's a person that facilitates and helps with my wife's dreams, dreams and goals. So if I label myself as an excellent husband who facilitates and helps my wife achieve her dreams and get to wherever she wants in life, am I doing it at a? Am I putting a facade up over my own dreams and goals, because we can get that two degrees off and I can just lean in and go with you, or I can say hey, I feel like, but then when you lean in and go, I feel lost in the end.

Jana Shelfer:

You start feeling lost, and when you start feeling lost, there's an energy that comes with that as well.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, and there's a new friction, that's whether it's either acknowledged or it's not. And then what happens is is we get too far into that two degree, two degree turn, that then I feel like I've lost myself and I have to, and my soul has to, resist and pull back, and then we're like but everything was good.

Jana Shelfer:

Right, and. And then it goes back to. We end up having another crucial conversation and it feels like you know well, why didn't you say this two months?

Jason Shelfer:

ago.

Jana Shelfer:

And then, another thing that makes this all so complex is that sometimes what our soul wants right now is not exactly what our soul wants in three months from now.

Jason Shelfer:

Right.

Jana Shelfer:

So we're constantly fluctuating just slightly, here and there. Or maybe we say, yes, this is what I want, and we start trying it, and it isn't exactly how we imagined or it's not lighting us up like we thought it might.

Jason Shelfer:

We thought we were putting gas on the fire and we were pouring just a very lightly flammable oil on the fire.

Jana Shelfer:

Are we making this more complex than it needs to be? I don't think so.

Jason Shelfer:

And one of the things that I've learned that's been like very powerful for me is when we started working from home you and. I started having these meetings like multiple times a day, where we actually come back and check in with each other.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer:

And that's been a huge, I think, blessing and catapult for us, because I see a lot of people in relationships that aren't having conversations on a regular basis. I mean it's incredible when you can just have a conversation and you can explore with curiosity each side no judgment, no, anything like that, but you can really get down to some of the things that oftentimes in relationships we're just trying not to rock the boat and, if you allow, the kind of the back and forth and we have these conversations.

Jason Shelfer:

What happens is, the sea can be as rocky as it wants to be, but we're balancing the boat through those conversations.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes. I also, though, think that sometimes we have become our own biggest challenge and enemy. It is important to learn these tools and to become consciously aware of everything that's going on, but when we start overthinking them?

Jason Shelfer:

Overanalyzing, overthinking.

Jana Shelfer:

We just I think sometimes the tool that is the best is one that we had when we were a kid, and if it's fun.

Jason Shelfer:

Do it.

Jana Shelfer:

Do it. If it's not fun, don't do it.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer:

And then you go to your partner. Does this sound fun?

Jason Shelfer:

Was it fun? And that's where it's like was it fun? What would you change about it? What might you have done differently? There's a lot of exploring and just trying.

Jana Shelfer:

And it goes back to asking better questions leads us to better answers. Trying and it goes back to asking better questions leads us to better answers. If you ask was this fun, then that allows the person to connect that to their own values and to see it through their own value lens, whereas if we ask other questions, like you know was that a struggle for you? If you ask, was that a struggle for you?

Jason Shelfer:

Then this is where your mind will go to. Where was it? A struggle for me.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, or just how. What were the fun parts of that that's a better question of, and what parts could have been more fun?

Jana Shelfer:

The only problem I have is that sometimes the question of was that a struggle for you? There's also data there, there's information there. It's just we don't want to move in that direction. We want to know the data so we can move, so that we can pivot slightly.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, recognizing the problem isn't the same as focusing on the problem.

Jana Shelfer:

Oh, that's big, that's big.

Jason Shelfer:

So we can recognize okay, this is what I might have wanted different. Then we have to immediately. So we've recognized it, we've seen the challenge and then we need to focus on how might it have been better, how might it have been just an amazing and impactful try or experience for me. And then, when we get away from the focusing on the problem, then we'll see the millions of solutions of how it might have been really, really aligned with my values, really aligned with what lights my soul up. And then, okay, so is that true for both of us? And if not, what parts of it are true for both of us? Because there will be some truth in both of our perspectives for that, and that narrows the line of direction.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, let's lighten up a little bit here. This is getting way too cerebral. Walking the tightrope of life. What lights up your soul. What lights up your soul? That's the question we ask ourselves today, and over the next several podcasts, we are going to give you one question per podcast to help you move in that direction.

Jason Shelfer:

What lights up your soul, and if you're struggling with any of the questions, reach out to us.

Jana Shelfer:

That's the key, although we just struggled. We just struggled for 20 minutes on this question.

Jason Shelfer:

But it's a constant search Because there's so many nuances to it. And that's one of the things, and we've been doing this for 10 years, so it's easier for us to help and help people see where we've come from and where we're going, and it's easier for us to help them dial in on asking that question.

Jana Shelfer:

Sometimes I feel like we demonstrate how to navigate through these questions and people really just want to know give me the answers. Give me the answers at the end, and we're like we're trying to demonstrate how to do this.

Jason Shelfer:

Look at how we're living our life and people are like I don't have time to tune into how you do it.

Jana Shelfer:

I just want to know how you do it.

Jason Shelfer:

And how we do it is asking ourselves better questions.

Jana Shelfer:

Woo, we've come full circle Keep Living Lucky®, thanks for joining us. Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.