Collective Trauma 🔥

Feeling Helpless When You See Others Suffering? You're Not Alone [Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason & Jana Banana]

Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders when you witness tragedy strike? You're not alone. In this episode of Living Lucky®, Jason & Jana Banana delve into the emotional toll of witnessing disasters like the California wildfires, unpacking the importance of empathy and compassion in these difficult times.

Here's what you'll get:

• Understanding the Collective Grief of Witnessing Tragedy: Explore why we feel so deeply affected by the suffering of others, even if it doesn't directly impact us.
• The Power of Shared Humanity: Discover how disasters can bring us together, reminding us that we're all part of the same human experience.
• Moving Beyond Blame and Shame: Learn how to navigate the negativity on social media and shift the conversation towards solutions and rebuilding.
• Combating Compassion Fatigue: Feeling overwhelmed by the constant barrage of bad news? We'll provide tips for managing your emotions and finding healthy ways to cope.
• The Ripple Effect of Kindness: Recognize how your compassion can empower others and create a wave of positive change.

Feeling helpless? This episode is your guide to transforming your empathy into action. You'll discover actionable steps to cultivate compassion, navigate emotional challenges, and become a beacon of hope in times of crisis.

P.S. Feeling stuck? Check out our other episodes for powerful strategies to develop a growth mindset and overcome limiting beliefs!

#LivingLuckyPodcast #SelfHelp #PersonalDevelopment #Empathy #Compassion #Mindset #PalisadesFires #LivingLucky Resilience in crisis, How to rebuild after loss, Overcoming negativity, How to turn tragedies into growth opportunities, Cultivating community support in tough times, Steps to transform negative feelings into positive actions, Finding hope after natural disasters

What are practical ways to help after natural disasters?
Provide financial support to local and global organizations, volunteer for rebuilding efforts, and extend compassion by acknowledging universal vulnerability.
Why do people lack compassion during crises?
Often, it stems from unconscious biases or feelings of envy. Se

Transcript

Jana Shelfer 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning, I'm Jana Shelfer, I'm Jason and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer 0:20

I can't get enough of these LA fires.

Jason Shelfer 0:23

It draws you in. I have so much enough of these LA fires. It draws you in.

Jana Shelfer 0:26

I have so much compassion for these people and I honestly don't know what's next. You know we've often talked about now what, Now what. What is next for them.

Jason Shelfer 0:39

There's been a huge shift in realities, right?

Jana Shelfer 0:44

I mean, it's easy to have a positive mental attitude and optimism feeling when you're initially going through it. Not easy, don't get me wrong. However, when the reality starts to really hit, that, hey, we still have to pay mortgage and now we have to find a place to live, which is going to be another mortgage on top of that, a place to get food, a place to go to school, like the whole environment has shifted.

Jana Shelfer 1:14

So many major changes and the thing is, as many times we rely on our neighbors or our community. The whole community is collectively going through this, so it feels like there needs to be a collective healing of some sort, and I think it's.

Jason Shelfer 1:37

It's a larger like expand the community. So, yes, the community of California, but we're a community of the United States, we're a community of the world. So it's like humanity, humanity, yeah. And so that's where it's like hey, if they don't have the resources readily available, right then, like they have things that they can do and they're going to rebuild, but they're going to need outside help. Just going to be having that compassion and that humanitarian effort that says, hey, we can all rebuild this.

Jana Shelfer 2:11

Hey, we can all do this. Am I the only person that is obsessed with this story? I, I watch this every day and I literally my heart hurts for the people of California, for all of them. My heart hurts, and I know that there's been some backlash on social media.

Jason Shelfer 2:30

Some trollers have said you mentioned to me that on social media that they said not that they deserve it, but they have no compassion for them.

Jana Shelfer 2:39

Yeah, half of the comments on CNN, they were talking about this on CNN. Half of the comments on social media are oh well, they can afford it, they've got money. So why are we so sad for these people?

Jason Shelfer 2:54

Well, it doesn't matter what your socioeconomic situation is.

Jana Shelfer 3:00

They've lost everything, everything.

Jason Shelfer 3:05

And I don't know anything about the insurance world. I know very little about it, but I don't know that the insurance companies can do this on their own, Like it's in the billions and billions of dollars.

Jana Shelfer 3:15

Yeah, they're saying like 20 billion, wow at this point, and I mean we're, we're not even through it no, we've only like 10 contained right now I know and they're saying the winds are picking up.

Jana Shelfer 3:27

I just I do not know the ramifications of all of this and where this goes, and and to be in this situation and now have to go through all the bureaucracy of. I mean, we know what it's like to reach out to an insurance company. If I'm going to be completely real, I usually say you know what it's not worth my time energy or frustration to even contact the insurance company. How many times have I done that in my life.

Jason Shelfer 3:56

Well, it's because it feels like the policy for insurance companies is just, the policy is no, until they're too tired to ask again yeah, and there's always some small print, and by the time you go through all that it's like oh my gosh this is killing me right you're killing me smalls so I guess, I guess what I'm saying today is there's been a collective blow yeah, well, and one of the things that I can't I wish I knew I could remember who said it recently.

Jason Shelfer 4:30

But someone that I was working with recently said there but for the grace of god, go, I like. And which just means something like this could happen to any of us. So not showing compassion for the people that are going through it, um, says that I'm immune, kind of says I'm immune to it, or um, it's a weird thing in there. So just recognizing, hey, this could have happened to any of us. How would we have wanted the rest of the world to react and respond if it happened to me?

Jana Shelfer 5:03

Or what you're really saying is, if you don't have compassion, there's something in there that maybe you should explore Abso-freaking-lutely. There's some sort of limiting belief, whether it is an unconscious bias against wealthy people, famous people, the woke community.

Jason Shelfer 5:23

People that live in their sunshine states.

Jana Shelfer 5:24

Yes, there's some sort of maybe envy or jealousy that lives deep, deep, deep within you that you didn't realize.

Jason Shelfer 5:31

That you're ignoring. Yes, that's what's happening. Yes, or?

Jana Shelfer 5:34

maybe something in your own life that you're not completely content with.

Jason Shelfer 5:38

How many times do we find things in our own life, when we just start exploring, when we just say okay, this is how I'm feeling about what's going on out there. Why am I feeling it in here?

Jana Shelfer 5:49

Why am I feeling it? And so that's where I have really evaluated myself. Like I am obsessed with this. I don't normally watch the news In fact we don't even have a news channel. We we actually are logged in on a friend's a friend's news channel.

Jason Shelfer 6:09

Maybe we just go over to a friend's house at any rate.

Jana Shelfer 6:14

Okay, so it's like a hotel.

Jason Shelfer 6:15

So a friend came and stayed with us.

Jana Shelfer 6:16

Our friend came to visit us and they logged into their streaming cable service, and then they forgot to log out, and then they forgot to log out, just like thousands of people do in hotel rooms across America. And so we have been using that every day that we can. At any rate, I hope that person isn't listening.

Jason Shelfer 6:39

I hope the cable systems aren't listening. We'll get turned in for uh what do they call it? Piggyback in or whatever.

Jana Shelfer 6:46

I don't know I don't know anyway. So I have been obsessed, though, with this story. I literally like every four or five hours I need to tune in and find out what the update is, where people are how, where things stand, and there's something inside me that just aches. Yeah, it's almost like I have been experiencing. My dad finally said to me Jana, it's not your problem, and I feel like it is. It's all of our problems.

Jason Shelfer 7:18

So it goes back to one of the things that I say doing good anywhere does good everywhere. So hurting somewhere hurts everywhere, and so you feel that and you recognize it and you see it. You also do a good job of seeing where people doing good ripples out too.

Jana Shelfer 7:36

So this is just something right now we're close to, we see it.

Jason Shelfer 7:40

The news is bringing it into our house. If we were on Mars looking at it with a telescope it wouldn't look so bad, but we see it so closely.

Jana Shelfer 7:49

I also. I mean, you know we mentioned what feeling is it provoking inside you and that says a lot about you. There is a feeling of powerlessness that I can relate to. I relate to that and I don't like that feeling and I have really leaned into how I'm. How can I dissipate that feeling inside me and in the world, and in the world?

Jason Shelfer 8:23

I see you helping people all the time and it's like how can I empower others? And when you have helplessness or hopelessness, it is a defeating feeling. It is and like when if you felt it before ever, you shouldn't. You should have enough empathy and compassion for other people to never want them to have to feel it, and that's a and I love that about you. And I love that you feel and you're compassionate for these people and I'm.

Jana Shelfer 8:52

we've reached out, but it's to the point where I'm not sure it's healthy, because I do find myself getting teary-eyed every time I see the footage and I'm like this is getting a little heavy. You know, like over the weekend I had to cancel an appointment because I was like I just don't feel well.

Jason Shelfer 9:08

I don't have the emotional capacity to go have this appointment. I do not.

Jana Shelfer 9:12

I just need to like, let myself process. So it is a double-edged sword, so I know that you love that about me.

Jason Shelfer 9:20

However, it's fine, but you're recognizing it. That's big.

Jana Shelfer 9:24

That's true, that is true, and we always say step number one is just awareness, right yeah. I just I look at what's next for these people and even the state as a whole.

Jason Shelfer 9:40

I'm going to say the first thing is put the fire out.

Jana Shelfer 9:44

Yeah, okay, yes, right, yes.

Jason Shelfer 9:46

So then we can start building logically from there. I mean, the place was built. Once it can be built again. It is going to take time, they've got to give themselves a long runway for this and the problem is, is they're going to spend a lot of time blaming and shaming?

Jana Shelfer 10:00

And I am sad because I've already seen that happening on the news, so that makes me sad, but I understand that when anger starts to arise within people, that's the natural place to go is to start blaming and shaming.

Jason Shelfer 10:20

Yeah.

Jana Shelfer 10:21

And looking in hindsight.

Jason Shelfer 10:23

Yeah, so we will just watch and participate as a nation in what happens and see how we can create a better path forward with compassion I think compassion and empathy in progress, and I think we're. I mean it's going to be okay. We've been through. We haven't been through anything like this, but we've been through other natural disasters. I mean Hawaii burned down. We've been through. I mean Australia has gone through a huge fire like this. So it's doable, we just have to. I think the quicker we get through with the blaming and shaming, the quicker we start looking at what are those next steps?

Jana Shelfer 11:00

Solutions Instead of focusing on the problem, we need to focus on the solution.

Jason Shelfer 11:04

Yeah, the problem doesn't go away. It doesn't have to go away before you start looking at solutions. How can we make it better.

Jana Shelfer 11:11

How can we make?

Jason Shelfer 11:11

it better, so good.

Jana Shelfer 11:13

Okay, well, thanks for joining us. I know that our last three podcasts have been focused on the fires. They have been hot, it is just such oh.

Jason Shelfer 11:23

I don't know it burns something inside me.

Jana Shelfer 11:26

It really does.

Jana Shelfer 11:29

I don't know if that's a good pun right now, Jason.

Jason Shelfer 11:32

Hey, keep Living Lucky®. Thanks for joining us. Bye-bye, Living Lucky® thanks for joining us.

Jana Shelfer 11:38

Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.