Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Self-Care v. Self-Management

• Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 7 • Episode 75

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Feeling Overwhelmed and Unlucky? Discover the Key to Balance: Self-Care vs. Self-Management

Tired of the daily grind? This episode will crack the code on finding balance and living a more fulfilling life! We peel back the layers of self-care vs. self-management, helping you understand the difference and how to use both to recharge your energy and achieve your goals.

Inside this episode, you'll discover:

  • The Secret Weapon of Self-Care: Learn how to identify activities that truly replenish your spirit and leave you feeling recharged.
  • Mastering Self-Management: Discover how to organize and prioritize your responsibilities for peak productivity.
  • Conquering the Self-Care Struggle: We'll get real about the challenges of self-care, especially during holidays and high-pressure situations.
  • The Power of Gratitude: Learn how a positive mindset and a focus on appreciation can transform your daily life.
  • Embrace Your Authentic Self: We'll inspire you to connect with your true self and embrace positive change.
  • Finding Balance Amidst Expectations: Learn to navigate societal pressures and prioritize your well-being without feeling guilty.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling overwhelmed, lost, or unfulfilled. Join us and discover the secrets to living "Living Lucky®" every day!

  • Q: What is the difference between self-care and self-management?
  • A: Self-care involves activities that replenish your energy (like walks in nature), while self-management focuses on prioritizing responsibilities. (Listen to this episode for a deeper dive!)

Feeling overwhelmed? Discover the key to a more fulfilling life! This episode explores self-care vs. self-management, helping you find balance and achieve your goals.

  • self-management, balance, well-being, gratitude, positive mindset, overwhelm, personal growth, authenticity, self-compassion, Living Lucky®,
  •  how to practice self-care, difference between self-care and self-management, self-care during holidays, managing self-care expectations, gratitude for a happy life, embracing positive change, overcoming overwhelm, finding balance in life, living authentically, LivingLuckyPodcast, New Podcast, Best New Podcast, Best Self-Help Podcast 

#LivingLucky #LivingLuckyPodcast #NewPodcast #BestNewPodcast #BestSelfHelpPodcast #LifeCoach #LifeCoaching 

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning, I'm Jana,

Jason Shelfer:

I'm Jason

Jana Shelfer:

and we are Living Lucky®. You are too.

Jana Shelfer:

We had a podcast about self-care. Prioritize your self-care. What in the heck is self-care? Let's just be real.

Jason Shelfer:

That's right. What is it?

Jana Shelfer:

What is self-care?

Jason Shelfer:

It's taking time. It's that pause, that taking time for yourself to fill your own cup.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, let's get specific. What does that mean?

Jason Shelfer:

So for me, it's walking out on the dock feeding the fish. It's spending time.

Jana Shelfer:

So for you it's getting into nature.

Jason Shelfer:

I love getting into nature. I love going for like a quiet walk. I like listening to a audible book on tape. I like spending just downtime with you where we're not doing the things.

Jana Shelfer:

I also love a massage where we're not doing the things I also love a massage, so it's taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health.

Jason Shelfer:

Health yes.

Jana Shelfer:

Is it taking care of your financial health or your career health?

Jason Shelfer:

So I would say or what inspires you health. I think that's where the self-management comes in. So if you're so stressed out about finances, if you're so stressed out about career, the stress is what the self-care is going to help. But it's not about avoidance of things to do, it's about the pausing, the breathing and filling up your cup so you can engage more fully and passionately towards that self-management where you can actually go complete the task and reach the goals that you have.

Jana Shelfer:

Is anyone confused? I feel like I don't know what we're talking about, because self-management is something different. However, it's a term that I didn't even know that existed until I started really asking what is self-care? And then, when I heard about self-management, I thought oh, I need that. I need that because I sometimes have a hard time balancing time for myself versus time for everyone else in my responsibilities.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and I love. So I haven't thought of self-management, quote unquote. Thought of self-management, quote unquote. But we think about manage your finances, we think about manage your time, we think about manage your household. Right, and it's the self-management because we are creating our own world, our own reality. So if we manage ourselves and we know what we want, it's basically we're going to manage our way through and to all the things that we want.

Jana Shelfer:

So self-management is making the decisions on whether to put yourself first or it's time to go do other tasks right now Okay. So let me ask you this when does this fall in If my bones are hurting? My bones have been hurting now for a really long time and I I have made the decision to put myself first, in that I have tried getting help, I've tried going in and getting answers from doctors. I've tried different, I've tried different medications. I've tried different exercises, activities. Where now does this fall into self-management?

Jason Shelfer:

No, so watching the way you navigate that specific thing because I've watched you seek the answers and also ask different questions about the satisfaction in resolving the issue- yes. And so far we just haven't come up with the answers. Right, but it's not giving up on finding the answers. So it's like, I think, whenever we have a situation that we continue to be in as long as we're seeking to get out and we have the awareness of what's happening, like we're seeking to lean towards health in this situation.

Jana Shelfer:

Because a lot of times, when it comes to our emotional and mental health, people don't know how to manage that. People don't know where to go to for help in managing those things and therefore we sometimes we're doing our best and it's not that we don't realize. Hey, you know what I've been in a funk or I've been feeling you know what I'm saying Particularly angry about things.

Jason Shelfer:

My personality is changing because it's stayed with me so long that it's become personal, pervasive and permanent.

Jana Shelfer:

So I feel like sometimes we think, oh well, people in general think, oh well, you're not putting self-care, You're not taking care of yourself.

Jason Shelfer:

Take care of yourself, that's how they that sounds like a mom thing. Right, you're not taking care of yourself. Yeah, you're not taking care of yourself. That's how they. That sounds like a mom thing. Right, you're not taking care of yourself, yeah you're not taking care of yourself.

Jana Shelfer:

And then, all of a sudden, self-care actually became a term, and I'm not sure what year that happened.

Jason Shelfer:

If you only knew, mom, how much we're taking care of ourselves.

Jana Shelfer:

It's a full-time job to do self-care. Right, and that's where the self-management comes in it's scheduling those little things that are going to find the answers in the case of the bones hurting or to go to the dentist.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, we go to the dentist four times a year.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, most people go too, I know.

Jason Shelfer:

But teeth are important to us and my breath is important to me because I want to be able to kiss you more. But yeah, so self-care and just scheduling it, scheduling into your day. A lot of times the self-care and fun are the first things knocked off the list. Because we're not, because we're trying to manage so many other things and we forget to manage ourselves.

Jana Shelfer:

I want to be. I want to be crystal clear. In fact, I I'm not sure this is making much sense to anyone. I don't quite understand the difference between self-care and self-management, because to me that is a very gray area.

Jason Shelfer:

So self-care to me is figuring out what those things are that fill your cup, make you full, reignite, that spark in you. And self-management is being intentional about your time and priorities.

Jana Shelfer:

So going to the dentist does not necessarily reignite that spark in me, right?

Jason Shelfer:

spark in me, right, so that would be, but but it also you know that if you continue to not go to the dentist, then you will end up with bad breath, achy teeth, um, and that will have a personal effect on your mentality, your physicality and all that. So that's where um self-management comes in and it's like a preventative care. Self-management comes in and it's like a preventative care.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, so eating the right foods.

Jason Shelfer:

I would call that choices, so self-management.

Jana Shelfer:

That comes in self-management. I would call that self-management. It's the decisions it's making good choices throughout the day.

Jason Shelfer:

Better choices throughout the day is the management.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, let me ask you this Is it possible to have too much self-care and too much self-management?

Jason Shelfer:

So I don't know. So self-management if you feel like you're having too much self-management and you are very introspective about it, I think you will notice that if I'm too carefree with my time, then I will recognize that emotion, Like we talk about it a lot, Like what is this telling me? What is this teaching me?

Jana Shelfer:

Am I the only person that struggles with this sometimes?

Jason Shelfer:

I mean I, everybody does. I actually, though, I feel like most people do this without knowing they're doing it, yeah, and or they try to and they think they're doing the best they can.

Jana Shelfer:

And it's great, until they start hitting a bump in the road.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes.

Jana Shelfer:

And then that's when people end up on drugs or homeless or depressed, or, and all of a sudden they're like wait, I don't understand.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, and Until they're the frog in the pot and they realize I've kept doing the same thing over and, over and over again. It's like what's the definition of insanity? It's doing the same thing over and over, and over and, over and over again and expecting a different result.

Jana Shelfer:

And then when they do hit a rough patch, then all of a sudden people are like, well, you need to prioritize self-care, and you think well, I.

Jason Shelfer:

I thought I had I was doing the best, I was doing what I had been taught this entire lifetime, I'm spending 150 a day on massages. Is that not self-care? And that's where I'm broke as shit and that is where I think. I've got a $200 manicure every month. Okay, so I'm just going to be real.

Jana Shelfer:

I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night. My sleeping patterns have been off. I've been having some hormonal changes and my sleeping patterns are off. So in the middle of the night I get up around 2 am. It's not that I'm getting up refreshed, recharged and ready to go write a novel or create some fabulous piece of art or polish your skis. I'm feeling like I can't sleep anymore and I'm uncomfortable in bed, and yet I don't know where to go, what to do, and I end up then spending from two to about 4.30 in just this purgatory Wow.

Jason Shelfer:

I know I can feel it. So I think we all can recognize what that feeling is when you wake up and then there's something that keeps you awake and you're laying there going. I just want to go back to sleep.

Jana Shelfer:

And because I'm not getting good sleep, then now my bones have started hurting and my bones hurt and because of all of this I've had to put some career goals on hold. I am barely motivated during the day to just function, and it's not that I am lazy, it's that I literally don't have the energy to-.

Jason Shelfer:

And you can feel that crash coming because you got zero recovery over the night.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes, and almost everyone has said to me self-care. You need to prioritize self-care. You need to take care of yourself. So it is your main job in life to take care of yourself. And I think, okay, I'm trying to do that. I also need to make a living.

Jason Shelfer:

Right.

Jana Shelfer:

Because that inspires my soul. I also need to know create. I can't just be spending a hundred percent time trying to figure out why my sleep is and I think that you're doing that.

Jason Shelfer:

so right now you're in the and I think, in an adjustment period. So you've gone to some medical professionals and discussed hormones and discussed what your body is getting, receiving and using and you've made some adjustments there. So I think you're going through an adjustment period and that is part of self-care and self-management.

Jana Shelfer:

It's knowing you need help.

Jason Shelfer:

I think that's the balance that you're in the middle of right now and because there's a lot of change going on. Just like with anything in life, when you're growing and changing, there's that uncomfortable period and your body's experiencing that because you're helping it grow and change right now on the inside with the hormones, and there's just like a mix your, your body's going. What's happening here?

Jana Shelfer:

yeah, but here's the thing you are in, so in touch with your body even with these hormones, people are that have given them to me and that have. I've done my research. I've gone to several people and almost everyone says you're to feel amazing immediately. You're going to notice a change immediately. If I've noticed a change. I can barely pick up my coffee cup.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, so there has been a change. It hasn't been the change you wanted. It wasn't the change that you were looking for, or maybe that was promised.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, I mean, I am in such pain.

Jason Shelfer:

Because it's since you started this program.

Jana Shelfer:

I have been sick.

Jason Shelfer:

You haven't slept, I have vomited.

Jana Shelfer:

I have not slept. I can barely like my. I don't even want to talk about it, because you know how we often say we create our reality.

Jason Shelfer:

When you bring attention to it, you're appreciating it.

Jana Shelfer:

Yes. So I don't even want to say it out loud and I keep saying, okay, tomorrow's going to be better, tomorrow's going to be better. So self-management versus self-care. But now I'm at the point where I'm feeling uninspired because I have been putting my self-management and self-care so high on the priority list. So, maybe there is a balance, no matter where you're at and to catch it early, be proactive, maybe.

Jason Shelfer:

And I think that's where, a lot of times, we miss the boat in the balance. So we hit that burnout, and it's burnout on either side right. It's burnout in working too hard and neglecting self-care and it's burnout in providing so much self-care that we have not achieved anything.

Jana Shelfer:

Yeah, that I'm not feeling like I'm contributing to society.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, so it is. And there's the awareness of it. Yeah, so it is. And there's the awareness of it.

Jana Shelfer:

And it also is very defeating and deflating when people say how are you doing? And I say, well, I'm kind of taking a break until the end of the year, and it makes me feel like I mean, I even wake up and I don't even put my pants on. Yes, no, and you think that.

Jason Shelfer:

I'm joking, see yes, no, and you think that I'm joking.

Jana Shelfer:

See Donald ducking it. You think that I'm joking? However, I've gotten to the point where I am totally comfortable now going walking my dog without pants on. People have been coming to the door, like the appliance guys were here yesterday. I literally was just talking to just talking, didn't have a lick on you, had a top on your porky pig and I have my top on but I do not have any pants on and that has become normal for me.

Jana Shelfer:

And and then I feel badly about myself. My hair we're getting ready to go to kansas and I have like three inches of roots and and I think, well, you know what, I really don't want to go get my hair done because my hair's been falling out.

Jana Shelfer:

It's been breaking.

Jana Shelfer:

So, and falling out, I mean over the last 10 years, it's not. Most people don't have to vacuum their floor every day. I do floor every day, I do, and and the other thing is is I don't feel like people talk about this and so I guess I'm trying, but the thing is you're doing the best you can and you're also but it's not good enough.

Jason Shelfer:

It's not good enough for jama standards.

Jana Shelfer:

it's definitely not good enough for Thanksgiving standards and it is absolutely, totally not good enough for going to bed a month with your parents' standards.

Jason Shelfer:

What if we calculate the wins and part of the self-care is identifying that getting up and just doing the best I can every day is a win and then giving ourselves some grace on the backside of that? Because you are by far self-managing better than most people I know you are by far. I think you could do more self-care. Um and I've seen you do that this week with your mannequin like being in the creative zone, being in the art.

Jana Shelfer:

I know. But I think, well, maybe I should go get my nails done. It is probably been 15 years since I have literally gone to get my nails done and I used to love that Not necessarily getting them done, but I loved having them done. And then, when it comes time to go, I'm like I'd really Screw it. I'd rather not get dressed, I'd rather not put on my makeup. I would rather Lay on the couch. That feels a little more self-care to me.

Jason Shelfer:

So there you go. Maybe I do your nails here. Would that be good self-care, because then I could be contributing.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm just being real and I hope that this can relate to someone out there to someone out there, because there is a messy period in all of this, yes, and trying to manage and care and put ourselves first and, at the same time, function in society when I know that there are holiday parties and people expect us to go, so there are expectations. Last night I had a meeting at eight o'clock and I literally at 630, I had to text them and say I'm so sorry, but that light isn't going to work for me.

Jana Shelfer:

I'm like a grandma these days and I need to go to bed at 630.

Jason Shelfer:

I don't think that's a grandma thing. I mean it's A you haven't slept. B your normal operation is getting up at four, so, and lately you've been up at two.

Jana Shelfer:

So I'm trying to give myself grace, but sometimes I feel like when I give myself grace, then I just slide.

Jason Shelfer:

I slide on this pendulum and I don't function, and I think part of this message is it's when we hit these tall walls to climb. It's hard to feel in the moment like we're Living Lucky®, but always on the other side of the wall you look back and see what you've gained from it and that's that's kind of where it is is identifying how did I get over that wall?

Jason Shelfer:

and this is a gift, this, the universe, is teaching me something right now yeah, and the quicker we get to this is working for me and how, how, like you're learning, you're meeting new people, you're learning new things and you're trying different things. So now you know what doesn't work and now we're just going to keep moving progressively towards how we want and that's where we're going to see that it all worked out and we're Living Lucky® and I'll talk about it. That's right and we'll be real about it, because I think that's the beauty of what we do Is being real. We are far from perfect.

Jason Shelfer:

Okay, friends, but we're living the experience.

Jana Shelfer:

Thank you for joining us.

Jason Shelfer:

I hope that this hits somebody in the soul.

Jana Shelfer:

In a positive way yeah in the soul.

Jason Shelfer:

That it just wasn't a complainy puke fest. Yeah, you're not alone in the soul that it just wasn't a complaining puke fest. Yeah, you're not alone in the world All right, bye-bye, have a great day.

Jana Shelfer:

If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com. Thank you.