Living Lucky® Podcast with Jason and Jana Banana

Lucky Few

September 06, 2024 • Jana and Jason Shelfer • Season 7 • Episode 43

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Feeling Stuck and Struggling to Be You? This Episode is Your Guide to Unlocking Authenticity and Living Lucky®

Do you ever feel like you're putting on a show for the world? Are you yearning for deeper connections and a life that feels true to you? This episode of Living Lucky® with Jason & Jana Banana dives deep into the transformative power of authenticity and cultivating a supportive inner circle.

Ready to ditch the people-pleasing and embrace your true self? We'll show you how to:

  • Build a Powerhouse Inner Circle: Discover the science behind vibrational frequency and how the people you surround yourself with can shape your success. Learn how to cultivate a diverse group of friends who challenge, inspire, and support you on your journey.
  • Navigate Social Situations with Grace: We all face moments where social expectations clash with our personal values. We'll share a relatable story about the challenges of sticking to intermittent fasting while maintaining friendships, and offer tips on navigating these situations with authenticity.
  • Embrace Vulnerability and Release the Need to Be Perfect: It's time to ditch the highlight reel and embrace the messy, real you! We'll discuss the power of vulnerability in building deeper connections and overcoming the fear of rejection. You'll also hear our personal experiences with showing vulnerability and the positive impact it's had on our lives.
  • Prioritize Your Needs and Stop Putting Others First: Are you constantly putting others' needs before your own? We'll help you identify this pattern and guide you towards a healthier balance. Learn to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries without feeling guilty.
  • Embrace Continuous Growth and Self-Discovery: Life is a constant journey of learning and evolving. We'll share our own experiences with conscious growth and self-discovery, and inspire you to embark on your own path to becoming your most authentic self.

This episode is more than just a conversation - it's a call to action! Are you ready to break free from inauthenticity and step into your true power? Join us as we explore the power of genuine connections, honest communication, and embracing your vulnerabilities.

Keywords: Authenticity, Personal Growth, Friendships, Vulnerability, Self-Discovery, Living Lucky®, Jason & Jana Banana, Lucky Few, Lucky Bunch
#LuckyFew #LuckyBunch #LivingLucky #LivingL

For mind-blowing inspirational content, join us on Living Lucky TV and on Living Lucky TV Live where you become part of the show at EtherealTV.net

Thanks for joining us.
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Email Jason Shelfer HERE

The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Jana Shelfer:

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®. Good morning. I Jana Jason and we are Living Lucky® you are too.

Jana Shelfer:

Jason is set on the lucky few.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, I think that we all need to have an inner circle because, like Jim Rohn says, we are a product or we become the five people that we hang around the most. That is true. So we are influenced, and we just had a podcast about vibrational frequency. Regardless of what we do or what our intention is, we are going to rub off. Our frequency is going to influence the people around us and we are going to be influenced by the people around us.

Jana Shelfer:

Definitely, energy is contagious. We start picking up phrases that are in our circle. Language All of it Language, we start picking up the state that they are in, the emotions that they feel, the habits, the mannerisms, all the things.

Jason Shelfer:

So we just kind of adapt into the people that we hang around the most. Yes, so if you can consciously cultivate your inner circle, your lucky few, and say these are the people that have the values that have, that I trust, that are honest, that will hold me accountable and know my like I'm, I'm willing to share my dreams with.

Jana Shelfer:

I think it's important, as we're talking about this, to really be conscious of not picking people who are exactly like we are, because then we don't have room to grow and to see different perspectives.

Jason Shelfer:

And that goes into that whole saying of if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

Jana Shelfer:

So I do feel it's important to pick your inner few, or your inner circle, and have people that you aspire to be like. I also think it's important to pick people that you know hey, I can guide and help them, I can mentor them in these particular areas.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, and that's a beautiful so that's a beautiful awareness.

Jana Shelfer:

Because then it becomes a communication between everybody.

Jason Shelfer:

And I think part of that also is recognizing that if we are consciously cultivating this group, we will know that someone in the group is going to have this specialty, like they're moving in life in this area and they're going to be excellent in this area and someone else will be excellent in a different area. So there might be someone that's great in relationships. There might be someone that's great in finance.

Jana Shelfer:

there might be someone that's great in health.

Jana Shelfer:

Stop, stop I'm gonna stop you, I'm gonna challenge you because this idea is great. Yeah, we want to. We basically you're saying you want friends, friends. That again you want to be like some friends, that you can help some friends, that you just laugh and you can be your authentic self with. I understand the whole philosophy and the idea. I also believe that it is so much easier said than done.

Jason Shelfer:

Yeah, we can want all day long but not take meaningful action. And I think it's having the conversation and it's getting beyond that veil of surface conversation that we often stick to and fall into. I mean, how often are those conversations just go?

Jana Shelfer:

back to the weather. I'm going to be real, I I'm gonna be so real right now, but you're gonna go. Oh, janna, I don't know if we should?

Jason Shelfer:

I don't know if we should post this why are we pulling the blankets back too far?

Jana Shelfer:

so jason and I had friends over. We. It has really been on my radar to make close friendships and I've been trying to do my best at doing this for like the last, I would say, year, I've really been putting an eye on this. We had friends over and I actually here's where I struggle is standing up for my own soul and my own values, beliefs and, at the same time, being hospitable and being what I know is socially acceptable. So here's the thing we were. We had friends over. We were also training for a dance competition and I was on a. I was doing intermittent fasting and they wanted to come over in the evening and I stopped eating at four o'clock.

Jason Shelfer:

We stopped eating.

Jana Shelfer:

We stopped eating at four o'clock, so then I tried to just be authentic about it and say you know what? We really want to have you over. But here's the deal we stop eating at this time, so is it okay to just come over and drink water, tea, maybe some coffee?

Jason Shelfer:

And have a conversation.

Jana Shelfer:

And have a conversation. It felt very awkward and to the point where I literally thought I don't know if this is for me.

Jason Shelfer:

And those are thoughts that we had on it and we don't know what the true thoughts are that they had on it.

Jana Shelfer:

I felt very odd.

Jason Shelfer:

Because they brought their own food.

Jana Shelfer:

They brought their own food. I felt terrible. They brought their own food On their own dishes, and it was food. I felt terrible.

Jason Shelfer:

they brought their own dishes and and it was like, okay, well, go ahead and eat. And I would like, I would love to try this, but we are fasting from four o'clock until eight o'clock the next morning and so I, I'm gonna be real.

Jana Shelfer:

It did not feel, I literally thought, and has nothing against you know the people.

Jana Shelfer:

It just.

Jana Shelfer:

I had the thought we would have been better off just not doing it.

Jason Shelfer:

But we did want to connect and that was part of the intention of like for the year is we want to connect, but we had this period of time, this two month period, where we are doing this program and our schedules match.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, so this is just a little example, because what I'm really trying to say is, inside my soul I have these little battles. Here's another example Shopping. I really need to go shopping and that's a great time and place to invite someone to come along and experience that with someone. I don't want to do that and here's why I feel when I invite someone along then I don't completely authentically say you know what I don't like that, like you totally should not buy that, because that is not my style at all, and then sometimes we might buy something based on someone else's like and compliments.

Jana Shelfer:

If I start feeling like, oh, you know what, they're hungry and antsy and they're ready to go, then I just I don't. I don't say you know, I came here because I need a fucking excuse, my language, I need a dress and explicit, I am going to go try on 10 dresses while I'm here, like I start, and I'm going to take all 10 in the dressing room and I'm not going to go try on 10 dresses while I'm here, like I start, and I'm going to take all 10 in the dressing room and I'm not going to come out in them.

Jana Shelfer:

I start becoming a chameleon, and this is a Jana thing. However, I'm being vulnerable about this because I know there's other people out there that feel the exact same way and, if I am to be completely, 100% real, there are not very many people that I can truly, truly just be me and be in the same six feet space with them For a length of time, for a length of time, for a length of time, and I know that that's a Jana issue.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, no, I think we all have that at certain times.

Jana Shelfer:

And it's not that I'm afraid they won't accept me. That's not the issue. It's that I want to make them feel comfortable and I want to be hospitable and I want to be attentive to their needs.

Jason Shelfer:

So it's giving up the me, it's putting them in front of me. Then also there's the worry of are they being fully honest and open about what they truly want? Because am I giving into a bucket that isn't fulfilling for them?

Jana Shelfer:

I think we just had an aha moment. When I am with other people, I often put their needs, wants and values in front of my own wants and values in front of my own. And it's not that I don't stand up for what I believe, but my higher value is to make others feel good and feel at home and feel comfortable. They're lucky. And therefore here's the conflict that I often face is that when I have a need or a want, I often isolate myself because it is easier for me to express what it is that I want and need to, jana, when nobody else is around. The only person that I can be 100% me is when I am in the same room with you, jason, and that's because I feel like you've seen me fart, you've seen me be lazy, you've seen me have diarrhea. I mean, you've seen the worst of me, and I feel like there is no facade. And I also know that you can take care of yourself, so there's no trying to make you know, do?

Jason Shelfer:

you feel at home here, I don't need to feel I'm going to find I will feel happy and do what I want. Right, and I know this and you know this, so you don't feel the need to Now I would say that you still give me everything that I need, so there's a mix in here, but I also express the things that I do need or that I would prefer from you, and those match very well.

Jana Shelfer:

Isn't that crazy that I just admitted that out loud Again. I don't know if we should post this.

Jason Shelfer:

I would say. There's millions of people out there that are in the position of can I be my full self around my friends and do I have?

Jana Shelfer:

And here's the thing is I can be my. I feel like I'm showing up to parties and events as my authentic self. However, I'm not.

Jason Shelfer:

You give, I'm not showing, I do you show up as the giver in you?

Jana Shelfer:

And I don't say this is what I need.

Jason Shelfer:

I'm not in the receiver of you. Yes, it's hard for me to receive. And so there's a big thing here, because how many people? And I believe that we could show up in multiple areas of friends and be ourselves because we are givers.

Jana Shelfer:

I know, but I also have needs and wants too.

Jason Shelfer:

I recognize this, but the thing I'm going to is I believe that a lot of people will show up Because I used to be this person that I was like, please, god, do not let this group of friends meet this group of friends, because they're not the same Really. Yeah, Like you cannot go and be the fraternity people here and then go be the church people here.

Jana Shelfer:

But that's you. You totally are. You are that person. You are a little bit of a chameleon, which is why it is so hard for us to find the lucky few. It's because we have learned in our life, because of our where we are placed in our families, the way our dynamics have been in growing up. We have learned to automatically adjust and adapt. Yeah, it's almost like adapting has become a. I mean, I know that it's a superpower, Don't get me wrong, but it's almost like we don't stand in our own power enough sometimes.

Jason Shelfer:

I feel like we are getting into that space where we're standing in our own power more, and I think that comes with being more authentic, being more real, and this is going to sound I don't want it to sound like it's not being humble. But, I think we've released some of the pride and recognize that we are on a journey.

Jana Shelfer:

That is for sure. We are constantly growing constantly learning and constantly evolving.

Jason Shelfer:

And every day we have these aha moments, we have these understandings, because we have these conversations and because we say, okay, what is it that I really want?

Jason Shelfer:

And where do I want to be in the next three to five years and how am I going to get there? Who are the people that I need to bring alongside me? And because we have these conversations and we're actually actively and consciously thinking of the people that we want around us, the people that we're becoming and meditating on it, moving towards that, yes, I believe that that authenticity and bringing down kind of those barriers of pretending, has allowed us, regardless of the adapting and overcoming, has allowed us to become closer to where we're going.

Jana Shelfer:

I know you say drop the veils of pretending, I will say, you know, in 2019,. I feel like I did that. I literally dropped the veils of the facade and I really did my best to show up on social media. Sometimes I show up with no makeup. I mean, right now I have no pants on.

Jana Shelfer:

I feel like I talk about struggles that I've had. I've struggled with depression, I've struggled with all sorts of feelings such as disappointment and rejection. I have I have been very open and I also feel that there have been there's another side of that where people have responded and have said you know, we don't, we don't like this new Jana as much, we want the old Jana, who is happy all the time.

Jason Shelfer:

Yes, right, who doesn't have any inspirational? Jana? Who's just?

Jana Shelfer:

happy, and so it is really been a struggle for me, because I I do feel that I do my best to just be me and yet, at the same time, if I have a need or a want, it's easier for me to just cut myself off from people, so that I don't have to justify or explain it.

Jason Shelfer:

Well, I think in a lot of times, we want people to see the success. We want people to see our success and we want people to not see the work that goes into it, and that's why there's so many people with this view of overnight successes and they don't see the long-term growth into it and how they've. They've aligned themselves with people and cultivated their lucky few or their, their inner circle that says, hey, you're, you're slipping or you're not living fully into yourself. You're not being, you're not being the person that you want to be Like. They don't see the challenges. And when you pulled that veil down in 2019, I saw people come to you. Now we were still in that.

Jana Shelfer:

We were in the middle of growth and we were in kind of the middle of the pandemic happened immediately and we were kind of thinking that the middle of the pandemic happened immediately and we were kind of thinking that, hey, we've had so many insights here, we've got it figured out. Yeah, I know that happens too, and I feel like a fool.

Jason Shelfer:

I don't know that we need to feel like a fool, because this is kind of like what. What I'm seeing is a natural progression. Sometimes we feel like we have it figured out and then we go hardcore into it and then we realize there's more to figure out and we're like, oh God, there's always going to be more to figure out.

Jana Shelfer:

We get knocked down a little. It's the universe's way of saying it's the spiritual curriculum. Continue to grow, my friends.

Jason Shelfer:

Continue to grow, continue to dream and continue to move towards your better self.

Jana Shelfer:

Okay, now I'm going to struggle with whether or not I should actually post this. I not only said a naughty word, I revealed some inner thoughts some inner conflict. So thanks for joining us and, just that being said, that means if you're listening to this, you are my lucky few.

Jason Shelfer:

And you are Living Lucky®.

Jana Shelfer:

Thanks for joining us. Bye-bye. If the idea of Living Lucky® appeals to you, visit us at www. LivingLucky. com.