Life IS a Dance: How I Got Back On The Floor

Afraid of  Dancing Toward Your Dream? Start Living Lucky®!
Ever felt the rhythm pulsing but freeze at the thought of moving your feet? You're not alone. In this episode of Living Lucky®, Jason dives deep into his personal battle with the boogie – a fear rooted in a childhood mishap at summer camp.

But this isn't just about awkward dance moves! It's a powerful story of overcoming limiting beliefs and rewriting the narratives we hold onto for far too long. Here's what you'll get from this foot-stomping episode:

• Unmasking the Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back: Discover how a single, seemingly insignificant moment can shape your identity for years. Jason shares his story of avoiding dance floors for 40 years after a single incident.
• From Humiliation to Hero's Journey: Witness Jason's inspiring transformation as he decides to face his fear head-on by participating in a dance recital. This episode is a masterclass in rewriting the stories we tell ourselves and embracing possibility.
• The Growth Mindset Magic Formula: Learn three key questions to cultivate a growth mindset: What did I do well? What might I have done differently? What might I do differently in the future? These gems will unlock a new level of self-awareness and propel you towards personal breakthroughs.
• The Power of Supportive Relationships: Meet Jason's amazing dance coach, Areanna, who serves as a shining example of the positive impact supportive relationships have on our growth. 
• Turning Setbacks into Springboards: This episode is a testament to transforming negative experiences into sources of empowerment. Learn how Jason leveraged a moment of embarrassment to unlock a newfound sense of joy and confidence.
• Embrace the "Stretch Zone": Sometimes growth feels uncomfortable, like breaking in a stiff pair of shoes. This episode encourages you to embrace the challenges that come with new experiences and celebrate the journey of pushing beyond your comfort zone.

So, are you ready to shed the shackles of self-doubt and hit the dance floor of life with confidence? It's never too late to rewrite your story and discover hidden talents.

Bonus Nuggets:

• Self-awareness is the key to unlocking your full potential.
• Grace is essential on the path to personal growth. Be kind to yourself as you learn and evolve.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help! Supportive rela

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start Living Lucky®.

Jason Shelfer: 0:14

Good morning. I'm Jana Shelfer and this is my husband, Jason Shelfer, and we are Living Lucky® you are too. We have a dance recital, this weekend, tomorrow's dance day, will you be my partner?

Jana Shelfer: 0:25

Of course. Thanks for asking.

Jason Shelfer: 0:28

What a journey. This has been fun.

Jana Shelfer: 0:31

Okay, stop. I'm going to poke at you a little bit Poke at me. Because before we hit record, Jason was telling me that he had some aha moments about dance.

Jason Shelfer: 0:43

I did and they just came. So they come often, okay, but the biggest aha was Thursday last week. And it was when we put all three dances together. So the cha-cha, the rumba and the hustle, and then also our showcase dance of this Is Me the Greatest Showman From the Greatest Showman, because since we've started this journey, it's been over a year.

Jana Shelfer: 1:12

It's been one year ago.

Jason Shelfer: 1:16

First of all, I said I would never dance in front of people. I said that when I was 12.

Jana Shelfer: 1:21

Okay.

Jason Shelfer: 1:22

Because I had a bad experience at camp, was laughed at, couldn't find the beat, and my soul wants to dance.

Jana Shelfer: 1:28

So you asked a girl to dance, you take her out and she was older.

Jason Shelfer: 1:32

She was beautiful, yeah we were getting dance lessons and she was 18. I was 12. She was a counselor. She was absolutely gorgeous, had an immediate crush the moment I saw her. Her name was Hope. I still remember the name. Okay, like this is how impactful this was. And as soon as I put my hands on her hips, I was lost. I could not hear the music, couldn't hear the beat.

Jana Shelfer: 1:55

You had a teenage hormone moment.

Jason Shelfer: 1:58

Yes, and I was 12. So I wasn't even a teen yet, but we were just learning to dance because our guys camp it was a Christian boys camp was going to have this end of the season dance with the girls camp and we just needed to know how to do the slide the steps. Yes, the two step back and forth with the girls next door.

Jana Shelfer: 2:18

They were trying to do you a favor.

Jason Shelfer: 2:20

Like locked elbows far apart. Slide your feet back and forth.

Jana Shelfer: 2:26

Leave room for jesus.

Jason Shelfer: 2:27

it was crazy and I could not get it because I was just lost and I got laughed out of the, out of the gym.

Jana Shelfer: 2:35

So I said you know, what did you really get laughed at? Or were they just they were? Pointing and laughing well, they were laughing.

Jason Shelfer: 2:40

This is the memory I have, okay now whether it's a true memory or a false memory. I don't know, because we can't go back and back then there weren't video recorders going and there weren't.

Jana Shelfer: 2:49

I mean, you can't get a Polaroid at that moment I don't think, Okay, but this is what has left an impression. This is the story.

Jason Shelfer: 2:55

I've been telling myself for 40 years right?

Jana Shelfer: 2:59

Yes, so I will dance in the kitchen. I will dance in the dark at home. I don't like dancing out in public. And here's the thing is. Jason is an incredible dancer and I feel like Especially when he's had like a little whiskey in him.

Jason Shelfer: 3:13

And I he's fun. And I tell myself, I look silly, I look stupid. They're all pointing and laughing at me, so I just stopped dancing. And which is, how fun is that when it's life right? So I, and then I also, we all do this.

Jana Shelfer: 3:28

I'm going to stop you because I want to just make sure that we're relating this to everyone that's listening. We all do this in some area of our life where we create a story in our head and then we almost deprive ourselves from the experience or the fun because we say I'm not an explorer, I'm not a dancer, I'm not a singer. One thing that I don't do is speak. I don't perform in front of people. I don't do that. I'm not an athlete, I'm not smart. We define what we're not. We define what we're not, and when we say I am not this, then that becomes part of our identity, and it all is because of an experience. You know, we all can sing, we all can sing, but there's so many people that are so adamant I don't sing, I'm not a singer Because somewhere in their life they have been told or they believe that they can't do it, they didn't sound right or they didn't, and that has become their identity. Now, I'm not saying everyone sings well. However, everyone can sing.

Jason Shelfer: 4:46

Yeah, what it does when you say I am not, is it closes the door for possibility. Yes, and that's what I did for dancing. And it also closed the door for possibility for me doing a choreographed fitness routine. Okay, just anything where I associated it with anything that was pretty much organized, which is crazy.

Jana Shelfer: 5:11

So when we started doing more than one dance at a time, that's why you don't like to go to Zumba or any of the aerobics. I tell myself ahead of time.

Jason Shelfer: 5:21

I can't follow, I can't get that. I'm not going to be able to keep up because I can't get the beat. I can't follow movement.

Jana Shelfer: 5:31

So share with everybody the realization that you had this past week.

Jason Shelfer: 5:35

So Thursday last week we had learned these three individual dances and it took me a while to get through the dances. But we put all three of them together and our dance coach said you're going to do them as if you're in a competition, Right, and you're going to do them one after the other, and then you're going to end with your finale of your showcase.

Jana Shelfer: 5:57

Yes, ariana's our dance coach and my brain went. She's fabulous.

Jason Shelfer: 6:01

No.

Jana Shelfer: 6:02

Wait, did you just say no, she's not fabulous.

Jason Shelfer: 6:04

No, she is fabulous. But I said my brain said no. Oh, about the choreography, but we were there and we were there for the purpose and, just like we know we're not going to, most of the time we won't do anything that we're not pushed to do, like we're going to stop where we put our limitation, like where we put our roadblocks.

Jana Shelfer: 6:23

We're like wheelbarrows we only go as far as we want to go, and it's until we're pushed further.

Jason Shelfer: 6:29

Yes.

Jana Shelfer: 6:30

We realize oh, this is new territory.

Jason Shelfer: 6:32

So I said we're here. We've got two different instructors right now, we're here for X amount of time. This is what we're going to do. So, regardless of what my brain is telling me, I know that we're here for this and we did it. And I had this realization that I'm not bad at these things. No, you're great. I do have the capacity and capability for these things you do. Why have I been telling myself this story? Why and I had this evidence of it's possible- it all comes back to Hope.

Jana Shelfer: 7:06

Isn't it ironic that her name was Hope?

Jason Shelfer: 7:08

Yeah, I almost wish I could look her up and just say thank you for the experience, because sometimes we have these experiences and then we have the awakening.

Jana Shelfer: 7:21

Because of the experience, I also feel that that was such an indelible memory for you, because you realize that you're a man, that you're attracted to women, that you were having feelings that you had never had before.

Jason Shelfer: 7:41

The other part of that is she would not know me from Adam's house cat. She would have known me the 30 minutes after, like that's how, that's that's how different perspectives are in the world, you know, like she would not, like I was just a kid in a camp that she was there teaching hundreds of kids to, to, to dance, Right. But it meant everything to me, and a lot of times those things happen. But I was telling myself this story and it lasted 40 years for me, and then I had this awareness that hey, I am, my brain can do all these wonderful things. I had limited myself in the possibilities of what I'm capable of and what my capacity is.

Jana Shelfer: 8:21

Yeah.

Jason Shelfer: 8:22

And now I'm so open and free and I absolutely am loving the exploring and the possibility of what we can do through choreography how we get to dance and move together.

Jana Shelfer: 8:33

I'm so glad this is being recorded right now. You heard what he just said, right, you heard what he just said.

Jason Shelfer: 8:38

So when I come and say we're now taking lessons three times a week, Well it's, and I am excited about it, and I just what I need help with is paying attention to those areas in life, and this is why we have coaches of where we have each other.

Jason Shelfer: 8:53

Yeah, and while we have each other of where am I saying behind the curtain because we've been doing this for a year and I haven't taken the the moments of recognizing that I keep I am telling myself behind the curtain in this area that that I'm not good at choreography.

Jana Shelfer: 9:13

And you know what I don't want to like pick the wound at all, that's okay. However, I will say that sometimes, when somebody tries to tell you exactly what you just said, I know that I plant my feet. Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 9:30

And I resist more.

Jana Shelfer: 9:32

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 9:32

Instead of saying I hear you. Yes, and how can I be better?

Jana Shelfer: 9:37

And this is where it's like you're protecting there's something defensive in there and you're protecting some I'm protecting the wound. Yes, You're protecting it which keeps us stuck, it keeps us limited, and until we have the awareness that oh my gosh, look at what I'm doing.

Jason Shelfer: 9:56

And this is, I think, where it goes back to Monday's episode, where you had mentioned in that episode everything in its right time, and that's where we can give ourselves the grace, and this is why I don't beat myself up about it. Yeah, you shouldn't. And one of the other things that we often tell ourselves or ask ourselves at the end of doing things is what did we do?

Jana Shelfer: 10:18

well, what did we do? Well, that's such a great question because so many people automatically in their head what?

Jason Shelfer: 10:26

should I have done better, oh my.

Jana Shelfer: 10:27

God, I wasn't good enough. Oh gosh, how could you know they ask the wrong questions. And so we have decided we ask ourselves three questions after every experience. We have decided we ask ourselves three questions after every experience we have. It's what did I do?

Jason Shelfer: 10:39

Well, what might.

Jana Shelfer: 10:43

I have done differently.

Jason Shelfer: 10:45

And when you say might.

Jana Shelfer: 10:47

That's a suggestive word meaning the way you did, it was perfect.

Jason Shelfer: 10:52

You did every. You did it exactly the way you could have done it, given everything you had, how you were emotionally, how you were mentally, the energy that you came with. So you did everything the way it had to be done in the moment, in your capacity.

Jana Shelfer: 11:07

And the word might just opens you up to oh, there's other ways of doing exactly what I have already done, but I can't change what's in the? Past? Yes. And then the third question is what might I do differently in the future To be more effective? To be more effective? And that question in itself is just again opening up the possibilities of, okay, this might be a more efficient way, or this might be a this might get me a better result, like what I really wanted, if I didn't get everything I wanted right now, like if I just quote unquote, finished what I was doing and the result wasn't there.

Jason Shelfer: 11:49

What might I have done differently to get the result that I wanted?

Jana Shelfer: 11:54

Oh, so good, so good. Okay, those three questions After any experience that will help you develop a growth mindset and that will help you work through some of those memories or stories that we have engraved in our brains. Our neuroplasticity because of something that happened most likely in our brains. Our neuroplasticity because of something that happened most likely in our childhood, something that somebody said to us or an experience that we had and we didn't know how to process it at that time.

Jason Shelfer: 12:27

And just take awareness, where we're planting our feet, Jason right. Awareness where I'm planting my feet and then just notice what's being said behind the curtain. What are you saying? I'm not.

Jana Shelfer: 12:41

And in the meantime we are going to knock it out of the park, that's right. For our dance recital slash competition, which happens this weekend. And again you said you would never do a competition.

Jason Shelfer: 12:54

I did.

Jana Shelfer: 12:54

And we are not only doing it, we are doing it well. Yeah, barbie, do it. Do it well, I'll take that and keep Living Lucky®. Thanks for joining us, bye-bye.

Jason Shelfer: 13:09

Love you guys.

Jana Shelfer: 13:11

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