From Ornaments to Overwhelm: Reimagining the Holidays

Join Jana and Jason Shelfer in a lively debate about holiday decorations - are they festive cheer or just festive eyesores? In this episode of Living Lucky®, we unravel the tangled world of holiday adornments, discussing everything from gigantic inflatable snow globes to dazzling light shows synced to jingle all the way. Are these decorations sources of joy or examples of holiday excess?

However, the holiday season isn't just about decorations. It's also about managing expectations and setting boundaries—a challenging terrain for many. From perfect dinner pressures to gift-buying anxieties, we navigate these mental prisons that often lead to stress and disappointment.

We share insights on how to maintain the 'most wonderful time of the year' by embracing the 'live lucky' mindset, shifting perspectives, and asserting boundaries. Our candid conversation is loaded with humor, honesty, and thought-provoking insights that aim to uplift your holiday spirits.

Tune in for a fun-filled episode that offers a fresh take on the holiday season—complete with hilarious banter and reflective moments. From dissecting over-the-top neighborhood decorations to discussing the impact of unmet expectations during the holidays, we aim to provide a different lens through which you can view this special time.

This episode isn't just about holiday ornaments; it's about the mental ornaments we place on ourselves. Discover ways to navigate the season with more ease, humor, and a dash of 'live lucky' spirit. Join us and explore a new perspective on holiday traditions, expectations, and self-care.

Whether you anticipate this season eagerly or approach it with apprehension, this episode is a vibrant mix of personal experiences, engaging discussions, and tips to navigate the holidays with a lighter heart and a broader smile.

Visit www.livinglucky.com to delve deeper into the 'live lucky' philosophy and explore more enriching content from Jana and Jason Shelfer.

#LivingLucky #LivingLuckyPodcast #JanaShelfer #JasonShelfer #HolidayDecorations #FestiveCheer #HolidayExcess #ManagingExpectations #SettingBoundaries #LivingLuckyMindset #HolidayStress #FestiveDebates #GiftExchanges #SeasonalAnxieties #GiftComparisonitis #JoyfulCelebrations #HolidayTraditions #FestiveDiscussions #StressManagementTechniques

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The 4 pillars of Living Lucky
Believe in yourself
Believe in the people around you
Believe in your circumstances and
Believe that God is working through you, for you, and always conspiring in your favor.

*Previously Recorded

Chapters

• 0:00 Holiday Decorations
• 10:15 Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations

Transcript

Jana Shelfer: 0:00

Are you ready to create a life you crave? Let's spin that doom loop of negativity into an upward success cycle and start living lucky. Good morning. I'm Jana and this is my husband, Jason, and we are living lucky. Tis the season you focus on.

Jana Shelfer: 0:24

Yeah that's right, la, la, la, la la la, the season you focus on.

Jason Shelfer: 0:30

That's right. We get what we're looking for.

Jana Shelfer: 0:32

Oh my gosh, we left the neighborhood last night and I literally was. I was be-fuffled. Be-fuffled Is that even a word? Look at the Griswolds. I was, I could. I don't even know what was inside me, but I had this moment where I just thought our neighborhood looked so cheesy. There's like four houses and if they're listening, good, thank you for listening.

Jason Shelfer: 1:02

Well, there's some houses that look like they picked up a bulb or a strand of bulb from each convenience store they stopped at on the way back from Alaska.

Jana Shelfer: 1:11

They've collected lights over the last five decades, and then they have these blow-up things. They're like blow-up globes, they're blow-up snow globes, and then during Because you can do that.

Jason Shelfer: 1:25

in Florida it doesn't get cold enough to deflate them.

Jana Shelfer: 1:28

That's the other thing. Okay, so then during the day they look so bad. I don't know why they look like styrofoam that is stuffed and glued in between this plastic that is just laid out on the lawn. Am I correct?

Jason Shelfer: 1:48

It looks like someone has left a party scene uncleaned up.

Jana Shelfer: 1:52

It does. It looks like someone toilet-papered their lawn and they're just like yeah, happy Christmas, happy birthday Jesus.

Jason Shelfer: 2:00

And they are just being super festive. So we're having one reaction and they're having a totally different reaction.

Jana Shelfer: 2:07

And I also want to add these icicle lights in Florida throw me off. They throw me off when they have palm trees and then they have icicles that hang down from the palm trees, it feels, and they're not like nice, classy icicles, they are like strings of lights. And then they kind of say, use your imagination, pretend these are icicles, but they're really just strings of light. That kind of look like I don't know, a cheap mistletoe that you get in, a cheap mistletoe that you get at the dollar store.

Jason Shelfer: 2:46

So spend your imagination. Pretend there's going to be a fat man coming down a chimney delivering presents.

Jana Shelfer: 2:53

And why did I have such a reaction? I'm like we live in such a nice neighborhood. It's a gated community, so we live on the water and then we have these cheesy.

Jason Shelfer: 3:07

So in your mind you picture what you want to see and you picture a very manicured single light. I want it Disney light, like a white row of lights. Yes, that's not the multicolor light from the 80s.

Jana Shelfer: 3:22

Yes, and I don't even care if it's multicolored lights. I actually embrace that as well. I just don't like the oh. And then let me just throw this in there.

Jason Shelfer: 3:34

The bright, glowing LEDs. No, no, no, no, no.

Jana Shelfer: 3:36

We have this one house that they've decided to To tune in to 97.1. Sink their house lights to the radio. So then they put up these big signs in the yard that say sit here in the middle of the road for 45 minutes and tune your radio to this particular station and you'll see how we have meticulously put every single strand of light so that it pops with all of the drums and the violins of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

Jason Shelfer: 4:17

This is a Scrooge.

Jana Shelfer: 4:19

I do sound like Scrooge, but that's I'm like. First of all, nobody should be sitting in the middle of the road, and now we've got signs up all throughout the neighborhood that say oh, make sure you go by so-and-so's house, because they are syncopated to Make sure you stop by 666 Elm Street. To radio 1-0, blah, blah, blah. And so then it's like an advertisement for the radio and it just feels.

Jason Shelfer: 4:49

Oh, I feel like that would be like there are neighborhoods that are that are made for that, where the whole neighborhood gets involved, and that's that's a fun to me. That's a fun neighborhood to go visit. When every house is like that when it's when it's just one house when it's a, when it's a one story house and it's just like there. Actually that's a two story house, but it's like it's one house. That's the only house on the street decorated and everyone stops there in the middle of the street.

Jana Shelfer: 5:19

And then I don't know when this started. Oh, listen to me Like seriously, there's something inside me that is like this is gone way too far and it starts all the way. And what's the month before October?

Jason Shelfer: 5:31

November, oh, october, september.

Jana Shelfer: 5:33

Because it starts. People have started now doing this in October for Halloween with the green and purple and orange yeah. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is gone way too far, like this is really cheese and lights all year.

Jason Shelfer: 5:48

I say, we just have, we have like pink and white lights for Valentine's Day, and then we have some green lights for St Patrick's Day.

Jana Shelfer: 5:57

But what I'm going to say is they've started putting projectors, projector screens on their house.

Jason Shelfer: 6:04

No, let it snow.

Jana Shelfer: 6:05

And, but sometimes it's not even let us know. Let the ghost fly across sometimes it's like little reindeer's, but it's not just one reindeer, it's like a thousand reindeer's and they go in circles and you sit there and go huh, I'm not sure what, why.

Jason Shelfer: 6:23

I feel snow globe that would rotate in your bedroom at night. Yes stars going around the room or whatever.

Jana Shelfer: 6:29

Or sometimes it's like the misfit toys that are.

Jason Shelfer: 6:32

It's the a dominant bull snowman that's on your, that's on your garage door Dominable.

Jana Shelfer: 6:39

And I'm thinking huh Wow, merry Christmas, merry Christmas.

Jason Shelfer: 6:46

Ho, ho ho.

Jana Shelfer: 6:50

Bah, humbug it just feels like we've we've come a long way from from the manger.

Jason Shelfer: 6:57

So the beauty of this is that's really it.

Jana Shelfer: 7:00

We've come a long way from what the holiday is really about.

Jason Shelfer: 7:05

Gold, frankincense and mur. Again the manger.

Jana Shelfer: 7:08

I mean, I never thought that I would be that person, but but seriously.

Jason Shelfer: 7:12

Well, in the beauty of this is is it is the same holiday and we all are experiencing it a little bit different. Some people are frustrated, some people are anxious, some people are excited, some people are energized. There are people that are like they look forward to this part of the year all year long.

Jason Shelfer: 7:30

Oh, I know some people dread this part of the year all year long, and then how are we experiencing this part of the year? So a lot of it is. What are we focused on? What are we telling ourselves about this time of year? What are we, what expectations are we setting for ourselves and setting for the time of year?

Jana Shelfer: 7:47

I have let go of a lot of expectations. I mean we don't even do Christmas cards anymore. You're right, I've kind of become a funny duddie. I I have been. I still get into the Christmas pajamas, I still do that little tradition. But other than that, like I've kind of man, maybe I need to stop and really evaluate. Start setting some some little tiny surprises and little fun expectations like a little elf on the shelf or a bench on the bench.

Jason Shelfer: 8:22

Maybe we'll start with the bench on the bench build up no.

Jana Shelfer: 8:25

And now you can actually you can have reindeer paws go through your. I mean, have you seen that where you actually put like baby powder down on the floor and you've you then put?

Jason Shelfer: 8:38

I know you love reindeer prints. Maybe I'll do that. I know you love cleaning.

Jana Shelfer: 8:42

I'm like what are? We always cleaning and it's all to, I guess, for the magic of it. Wow, who would have thought that I would be so unmagical?

Jason Shelfer: 8:52

Oh, you're magical.

Jana Shelfer: 8:54

I am magical, so why is this bothering?

Jason Shelfer: 8:56

me. So we all have these things in different areas of our lives.

Jana Shelfer: 8:59

Because it feels like every year they're taking it to another level.

Jason Shelfer: 9:05

The purpose in life is to grow and a lot of people feel like they're not growing in multiple areas of their life. So they pick an area and they say that's the area that I'm going to grow, that's the area that I feel like I can control.

Jana Shelfer: 9:18

But then they try to outdo themselves every year.

Jana Shelfer: 9:21

Of course.

Jana Shelfer: 9:23

And it becomes this frenzy or chaos.

Jason Shelfer: 9:26

Internal and external competition.

Jana Shelfer: 9:29

And then they wonder why do I get sick every year at the same time? Why is it that whenever I'm around family, I start getting a sore throat and I start getting the flu, and someone always gets sick when we're together? Well, it's because the stress, the stress of just this whole season, the competition. The holiday we're bringing it on ourselves. We don't even realize it.

Jason Shelfer: 10:00

It's dis-ease.

Jana Shelfer: 10:03

It is. It's like wow, let's just all decompress a little bit and realize we are bringing on all of this.

Jason Shelfer: 10:15

I say that we kind of build this prison for ourselves. We start setting these little mental expectations, this mental prison for ourselves, and we build it and then we hold the bars up. It's like that meme where the person's holding the bars up and the picture's really close and you back up and they're just holding the bars themselves, and that's kind of where we are with a lot of things in life. But in the holidays it's like oh, I've got to see all my family Dad's going to be this way, mom's going to be this way, the cousins are going to irritate me, the nephews and nieces, whatever. And so we do get the, we build up our anxiety, we build up all these what-ifs instead of just kind of going in with this expectation of things are going to be wonderful and I'm going to bring the best energy that I can.

Jana Shelfer: 11:07

I think that's really what it comes down to. We build up expectations, not only for ourselves, but for the people around us, and then, when those expectations are not met, or if we don't meet them ourselves, we become disappointed.

Jason Shelfer: 11:27

Yep, and also we're around people that we're not around that often, so we don't. I think a lot of times we don't exercise our boundaries as firmly as we normally would.

Jana Shelfer: 11:39

Because we don't want to hurt feelings. We know that that happens. I struggle with this so, so immensely, because I find that I do need to speak up a little bit more clearly.

Jana Shelfer: 11:55

However, however, when I do, it sometimes can come across I don't know if it's my tone or if it's my like unwelcome People aren't used to me speaking up Like I always try to consider how other people are feeling, like that's just always been my, my ammo. I always want other people to feel. In fact, I put other people's feelings before my own many times, and that's been. My problem is because when something bothers me, I many times consider how the other person is feeling before I consider myself. And in fact, when I do consider my own feelings, I think, well, I can handle this, I can take the high road. I, you know, I, I realize what's happening here, so I'll just I'll just, you know be the bigger person.

Jason Shelfer: 12:56

I'll let them have it.

Jana Shelfer: 12:57

I'll just be the bigger person and walk away. Well, over the years, that has really started to bother my soul, to the point where it has now started to emerge in areas of my body Like I realize now, when I'm around my family, my shoulders start hurting, my my back really starts getting tense and it's because I'm not speaking up for myself. However, when I do try to speak up for myself, then it feels like other people start taking it very personally, like wait a minute, jana has never talked like that before. Why is she talking like that? Why are you attacking me?

Jason Shelfer: 13:47

Yeah, this never bothered you before, and that's one of the things is like you've never exercised your boundaries before, why would you exercise them now?

Jana Shelfer: 13:54

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 13:55

So it's and that's one of those things in your body starts recognizing hey, this is that season where I don't get to recognize my boundaries. So I start, my body starts getting tense, your subconscious starts tensing up, your body saying here hey, start preparing yourself for this.

Jana Shelfer: 14:11

Yes.

Jason Shelfer: 14:12

And then so you're, then your, then your mind is going why am I so tense right now, Like, and then you start answering that question.

Jana Shelfer: 14:20

Okay, so let's bring this back to the lights in the neighborhood. I mean it really. There was something that really bothered me and it's probably.

Jason Shelfer: 14:29

it probably all stems back to that that the the not standing up for your boundaries. Okay, so I pay an HOA.

Jana Shelfer: 14:38

I mean I pay into this neighborhood. Should I say something, because that sounds a little fuddy-duddy for me to say you know what You're putting restrictions on when I can put up lights? They actually sent me a letter saying you you put your lights up too soon. You put your lights up a week too early and they give us restrictions on when our lights have to be down. So why don't I write a letter and say I feel like there should be restrictions on what kind of lights so that can be hung outside your house?

Jason Shelfer: 15:17

A mental note in you that says look out for how people are doing their lights. Maybe, and it's a and it could all be back to the boundary thing. And so your mind's going, well, what is causing me stress? And you start looking for the things that cause me stress and saying, well, that might be one of them.

Jana Shelfer: 15:39

And then I think, well, you know what, it's an exterior circumstance, and really I can't always control my exterior, but I can't control the way I react.

Jason Shelfer: 15:49

Yeah, change our state If it's bothering me.

Jana Shelfer: 15:52

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

Jason Shelfer: 15:55

Oh powerful.

Jana Shelfer: 15:56

Wayne Dyer. This whole self development thing can be complex at times.

Jason Shelfer: 16:05

But helpful and fun.

Jana Shelfer: 16:08

And oh, oh, so beautiful. Thank you for joining us. I hope that you got a little bit of ease.

Jason Shelfer: 16:18

Just one of our experiences.

Jana Shelfer: 16:19

Yes, this is what Jana and Jason are going through right now, and usually it's always a little work. We're just airing it out for you too, so that you can get a little window into what's what's real. All right, Thank you again. I hope everyone is living lucky and we'll talk to you next time. Bye-bye.

Jason Shelfer: 16:40

Visit the season.

Jana Shelfer: 16:42

If the idea of living lucky appeals to you, visit us at startlivingluckycom.